Working Moms

I know how you feel. I had to go back to work after both of my daughters were born. My job was flexible but it was still hard. From my experience I can tell you it is hard at first. I cried both times. The good thing is you do get use to it and you really cherish the time you are with him. So I guess what I am saying yes it is hard at first but as long as you feel he is in a safe environment you will adjust and it gets easier. You both will be fine.

Hi, it's hard to go back there's no doubt! But let me give you another way to look at childcare. One thing that I found to be very true in our situation is our daughter just thrived at an in home daycare that she goes to twice a week (8 hours per day). Especially because at the time she was the only infant. She learned SO MUCH from her provider and the other children it was amazing! She could walk and talk early, she is virtually potty trained. She is the sweetest, most social little girl. Weaning her from breastfeeding was no problem and other little common traumas have been virtually non-existent. I really believe all that is due to her child care environment here at home and at her provider's place. She is so happy to see her "friends" and she's so happy to spend time with us. She is very nurturing to the younger children now as well. I don't want to generalize but sometimes parents spend too much time with their children alone and it shows. I think if you can figure out a way to spend more time with your baby when he's older and more aware of you and his surroundings it will be that much more impactful. On the other hand, millions of parents work and maintain excellent parent-child relationships in the time they do have. I know this doesn't help with your dilemma of what to do about working or not but I hope I gave you another perspective - good luck.

I was the same way when I returned back to work. I start out slowly, only working about 4 hours a day for about 1 year and then went back to work full time after that but Im only required to work 35 hours a week. There's no real advice I can give you but to be strong b/c children sense how u feel

you have to do what you have to do...the question is if you *have* to...*sigh*
it's hard.
w/ ds1 I just couldn't go back to work so dh & I sat down & crunched numbers and I took 2 years off...now. we have ds2 & I *have* to return when he is 12 months. *sigh*

Hi M.,

I worked all kinds of funny hours (and still do) to be home with my kids, but that is a luxury, and I realize it. My friend has 3 (twins 5 months and a 2 yr. old) who have been in an at home daycare since all were 12 weeks old. She loves her provider, and wouldn't change a thing. The thing that makes it easier for her is that she knows when they are school age, she will be able to stay home with them, when she feels they will need her more. She feels like thay are not so dependent on her being there now, but when they are in school, she will be there for homework, fieldtrips, sports, etc. She also will be vested at her company in the next 2 years, so financially, it doesn't make sense to her to 'throw away all that money' that will help them in the long run. Additionally, it makes the 'family time' that much more meaningful, because she doesn't take it for granted. Bottom line, you do what you have to do to survive. And, when faced with hard times, you make the best of them. My advice would be to just follow your gut. If it doesn't seem like it is right, it probably isn't.

Being a Mom is so hard sometimes, you feel pulled in so many directions. I hope your return to work is successful for both you and your son. Good luck.

It will all depend on what works best for you. It's the hardest decision, but do what works for you now, and just evaluate it as you go along. That's what I'm doing. My daughter is going to turn 1 yr old in a couple of weeks. I went back to work when she was 12 weeks old too. I also only work 32 hours a week. That has been great. I work Mon-Thur, 8 hours a day. I go to work early and my husband takes our daughter to daycare. I leave at 3 to pick her up, and we have a 3 day weekend every weekend. So, I feel like I'm getting to spend a lot of time with her, while still working. I think every woman is different, and what works for one won't necessarily work for another. Don't let anyone tell you that you need to do this, or you need to do that. What works for them may not work for you. I'm sure you know all that, but I just get so frustrated when moms cut each other down for their different opinions.
Anyway, I think working part time is a great solution to the work/stay at home issue. You get your time to be an adult, while still getting to spend that special time with your child. The other thing is, if you like the daycare that will be a huge help. We went through 3 different options, a nanny, an in-home daycare, and finally a large daycare. Each had it's plusses and minuses, but the biggest thing we found was you need to trust the person taking care of your child - no matter what type of daycare they're in.
Good luck! J.

Hi I know how hard it is. I work from home promoting a wellness company. I would love to share this information with you.

C.
Nicole, Nicole, Amanda & Joe -Joe
Moms helping moms working from home

Hi M....I struggled with the decision to go back to work or not. I actually worked very part time when my son was 4 months old as a massage therapist and even one day a week for a couple of hours in the beginning was too much for me. I hated being away from him. It's a personal choice, but trust your heart. If you really feel that you want to be home with him, then find a way to do it. No one can tell you what is right for you. I had to find a way to be at home and earn an income and I did just that and am so thankful. I can't even imagine him being in daycare at this point.

I hope that helps...it is a struggle and I feel for you!

L.
Stayin Home and Lovin It! You can too.
http://proud2be.stayinhomeandlovinit.com

Hi M.!

You are not alone.It was difficult for me too!:( Thankfully I had an understandable boss that let me take "pumping" breaks! :) I did cry the first week, every now and then I'd have to walk in the bathroom to let out my feelings and keep my composure. Most importantly, I think you should feel VERY comfortable with the provider you choose to care for your baby. This will ease with the adjustment by having a relationship with the provider. And like another response that I read, daycare has greatly improved my daughter's social abilities, she is so friendly, outgoing and has learned SOOO much from going to daycare/preschool. I worried at first that she would love the provider more than me, since she was with her most of the day, but her love for me NEVER changed! When she was just a little chunky baby, she would squeal, kick and smile at the sight of me coming to pick her up! I have always made it a point when I got home from work to spend one-on-one time with her and to this day our bond has never changed. Remember, the sitter doesn't "raise" your son, she "cares and watches" over him. YOU raise him! The way you talk, hug and kiss him, the examples you set for him, the life-lessons you teach and the love you provide him with is what "raises" your little boy. Don't ever feel like less of a mommy because you must return to work! Give yourself a hug momma!:)

Hi M. how are you? Hope all is well with you and your family!! have you ever thought of working from home? The reason why I am asking is cause I do and I love and I also make really good money doing what I do. Just check it out and see what you think visit my website at www.motivatedmomsteam.com or you can call me at ###-###-#### I am always home so feel free to call me when ever you time. Hope to talk to you soon. Have a great day!!

I had to go back to work when my son was 8 weeks, I had no choice. But for 10 long months I worked days, and pumped and went to him on my lunch break. Then I decided I couldn't do it anymore. I went in to another line of work and started working nights, this allowed me to me home during the day w/my son and not have to have him in a day care. Now don't get me wrong, it's not easy some days but for me this was the comprimise I came to that put me at ease.

Whatever you do good luck and maybe you can find some kind of solution.

We all have to do what we have to do. For some of us is to work while our children our small. Two suggestions to ease your anxiety: 1) Place a disposal camera in his diaper bag and ask the sitter to take pictures of him when he looks cute or does something new. 2) Give the sister a notebook to log everything your son did that day. Have her right down when he napped and for how long, when he ate and how much, if he was fussy, etc. This way you won't feel left out of what is going on. It also is a great way to make sure that yourself and the sitter on the same page when it comes to your son. You will get through this. It is natural to be anxious. Everything will be okay.

Oh My M.,

Its a really hard thing to do and I was in your shoes 10 months ago. Ask yourself questions like, Can you stay home financially and are you the type of person that can stay home all the time? I could not stay home al the time I would go NUTS. It was really hard and it will be for a while but it gets easier and better. The best advice that I got when I had to go back to work was that you are a better mother when you get a break from you baby and you appreciate the time you have. You will always be that little boy’s mom and NO ONE can take that place. He will know that. I think that if you like your job then stick with it. My son was in a home daycare till he was 10 months and now he is in his second week of daycare and they are wonderful. If you need any help let me know.

Hi M.,

Don't know if you found anything yet, but I am looking for people to help with my site SWFLParent.com. Email me at ____@____.com hours are flexible and you can work whenever you want. It could be supplemental to your job or a way of working less "in office" hours.

Look forward to hearing from you.

B.

Have you ever thought about possibly working from home? I have found this wonderful business opportunity that would give you the opportunity to set your own hours, allow you to have more time with your family, be paid well for hard work - without the office politics & help others through your work achieve financial peace of mind. I really wish that I had found this opportunity when my children were younger. If you would like some more information please do feel free to contact me I'd be happy to share this information with you I can be reached at www.healthelife.fourpointmoms.com ###-###-####.

A. K

I went back to work after only 6 weeks, i hated it, but it was reality. I was separated at the time and just had to! You will not be doing any 'damage'. It is good for socialization of older kids but when they are newborns like this it is harder for you than it is harder for them. It is great that you can work part time... maybe working 4 days a week, or shorter days and 5 days a week. Think of all the income will help with the extras. Maybe work now and then you can cut back even more when he is older? Yo uwill still have plenty of bonding time with your child. How many hours a week will he be in YOUR care? Best of luck.. if you have any qu's feel free to send me a message. He will do good, dont worry.

hONEY, IF THERE IS ANY WAY YOU CAN DOWNSIZE OR BUDGET YOURSELF SO YOU CAN BE A STAY AT HOME MOM, DO SO, YOU WILL NEVER REGRET IT, THESE MONTHS DAYS AND YEARS AHEAD ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT ONES, THESE ARE THE "FIRST" OF EVERYTHING, THAT YOU WILL BE MISSING OUT. iF THIS IS AN IMPOSSIBLE DREAM THEN i SUGGEST YOU INVEST IN A INTERNET CAMERA, SO YOU CAN CHECK IN ON YOUR BABY, ARRANGE IT WITH YOUR DAY CARE PROVIDER, OR EVEN BETTER WOULD BE IF YOU COULD FIND SOMEONE TO TAKE CARE OF BABY AT HOME FOR MORE PERSONAL ATTENTION, IN WHICH CASE YOU WOULD DEFENITELY INVEST IN A NANNY CAMERA, THIS WAY, YOU WILL ALWAYS KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ARE NOT THERE.