Working Moms - Cuba,MO

Yes, and that is why I used a daycare center. They were only closed if there was a blizzard (one day in 4 years) and I wasn't going to work then either. If someone calls off - no big deal. I did NOT feel like I was pawning my son off. He was cared for by some great caregivers, he learned tons, he loved it and he got so much social interaction that he never would have had if he was home with me all the time.

I believe pawning your children off only counts in regards to your free time. When someone is off from work and he or she chooses to have/begs/forces others to watch his or her children repeatedly, then I would say that is pawning a child off since seemingly the parents don't want to spend their free time with their child. What you describe is just the life of working parents. We have to do what we can to balance family and work. You are blessed to have family who can watch your child. We don't have that luxury so I have had to take off work when it is frowned upon. That's a whole other list of guilt and concern regarding keeping your job. Good luck and unpack the guilt trip bags.

Asking for help is OK! It's what people do. Only recently did we start thinking that we have to do it "all" within our nuclear family. Having more caring adults in a child's life is a good thing.

My hubs works from home but has to travel at least once quarter for a week at a time. Our little doesn't go to daycare...We alternate between my dad/other mom (they work from home with their own business) and my mom (who doesn't work) when he has to travel. I do feel like I'm pawning him off on them.

When he goes to my dads I don't see him all week. Drive is just impossible to do on a daily basis...and of course he gets away with everything so he doesn't want to come home.

It's hard but you have to do what you have to do and I don't think there is any harm in it.

Oh an no PMs about my decisions about my family!

I have some amount of mommy guilt. There are times when daycare for our kiddos is closed, or if our kids are sick, that my husband and I simply can't take time off of work for. We both work 50+ hours/week, and, although I don't think staying home would be the right option for our family anyway, we simply can't afford for me to stay home. I am the primary breadwinner, and the entire family is on my insurance. I try not to let it get to me. I know that I am a good mom, and that's all that matters to me.

It's okay to ask for help! I'm basically a single mom during the week - my husband works 2 hours away and can't take leave as easily as I can. My sitter's grandfather died right before Christmas and she had to take the Monday and Tuesday the week before Christmas off...I had asked my family to help and unfortunately they weren't so helpful. But I found sitters to take the kids.

Try to find backup sitters, for times like this. Can you take leave sometimes? I can work from home on occassion, can you?

I would never work for a company that didn't understand I am a mother first. My kids come first over everything, even work.

You both work a lot of hours...can either of you work less?

Do either of your jobs have a program for childcare?
Not sure how common that is. Our company has a partnership with Bright Horizons for emergency backup childcare. It's $20/day, and a really nice option in a pinch. You can use it up to 30 days a year.

I would have never known had I not explored it through HR here.
Something to look into?

All working moms feel this way- it's totally normal. But we have to do what we have to do. :(

Both my husband and I work 40 hour weeks and on occassion I get the guilty feelings. However, I make sure that the time we do spend with the kids is actual "quality" time. Quality vs. quantity in these types of situations, is the most important. You could be a stay at home parent and spend tons of time with your kids, but not much of it is "quality". Us on the other hand, have to make good use of the time we do have, and as long as the time you spend with them is put to good use and making it the best I think that is the most important and I don't feel that anyone else is raising my kids.

When I adopted my son several years back, I made the choice of going with a childcare center so that I didn't have that problem of a sitter calling in or being sick and leaving me in a learch sp. This decision was made so that my boss knew I was serious about my job.

You may have to check into this type of care for your child.

Working 40 hours a week and dad being in the military does not always mix. It was the best of both worlds. He got to play with kids his age and I got to know he was safe and happy while i worked a regular job.

Goodluck to you.

The other S.

My boys are older, and are both in school, but I have guilt issues as well. My husband is in the car business and works crazy-long hours, and I am a high school teacher. I do tutoring before school so that I can pick the boys up from school each day, but it seems like I frequently have to ask my mom to pick them up for me because I have meetings with parents, doctor's appointments, teachers' meetings, etc.

I feel awful having to ask her for help, even though she assures me that she loves having that extra time with the boys. My parents own their own business, and are extremely busy with it, so I know she doesn't always have the time to stop and pick them up from school, but anytime I ask she picks them up with a smile. I'm very thankful for her.