Would like to Hear from Working Moms of 3 or More

I have 3 kids a 3 year old, 20 month old, and a 5 month old. I run my family business and my husband is an engineer. This is how we make it. My husband helps equally as much as I do if not more since I am breast feeding right now he does more of the housework and laundry. We hire people to clean the house, mow the lawn, etc. so we can spend that time we would be doing that with our children. We prepare for the next day at night by getting clothes laid out, lunches packed, breast pump cleaned, etc. I try to do all my errand running at lunch and so does my husband so we have more time at home with them. We take family vacations, make sure they have lots of interaction with grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, and we go to the lake with my sister's family and my parents almost every weekend during the summer. Right now I take a bath with my girls and my baby son and I get some time spent with them and we have a great time in the tub. We always have dinner together as a family with the TV off. I have done some of those dinner things where you make them and freeze them or we do lots of crock pot cooking during the winter and grilling during the summer.

As far as remorse I think everyone has it. I too would like to maybe cut back to 4 days a week. Right now it isn't feasible but maybe next year. I just think well I was raised by a working mom and my husband was too and I think we turned pretty good. My kids are happy and my husband and I are happy so that I think is a good thing and all that matters.

Well hope this helps.

M.

I have 3 children - Son who is 7, daughter who is 5 and our youngest son who will be 2 at the end of this month. I work full-time outside of the home (mostly 40 hours a week, but every 4 weeks it may be a 50-hour week), my husband works part-time also outside of the home... therefore, we only have a part-time child care provider. I also am a Coordinator for a Direct Sales company so there are a few evenings a month that I am busy even after my 8 - 6pm job.

As far as how do we balance it all... team work is VERY important from the entire family. Obviously the LITTLE ones aren't able to help much, but our daughter is a tremendous help and she actually WANTS to help MORE. Sometimes its the tiniest thing that is the most helpful (them putting away their own laundry, them helping with the dishes, etc.) Granted... sometimes we don't have the world's greatest routine, but we get by just fine :o) It really is just a trial-by-error type situation.. see what works for your family and what doesn't. In my opinion though, being a mother of 3 isn't much different than being a mother of 2 (except you get another bundle of joy!!!) So if you're managing fine now... you'll be fine when you're newest addition arrives as well.

As far as guilt... I honestly can't say I have much, but my situation is different than yours since my children are only in daycare part-time. But it is EXTREMELY helpful that they LOVE their child care provider. They actually are disappointed when they don't get to go.

I hope you get some more helpful answers. Do what you believe is right for your family and the rest will fall into place!

Hi E.,

Well for starters I'm a home child care provider and in some way I can choose my hours and when I choose to work but I work M-Sat, 6 am - 10 pm. I have 4 children of my own, 16 yrs, 7 yrs, 3 1/2 yrs and 15 months. And I don't have time to do the things that need done with my own house, so during the day it is all about daycare kids just like you at your job, in the evening I am making sure kids are doing their homework, we have a 20 minute power clean around the house, and I take time out for them every night.
In my opinion it doesn't matter if we are work at home moms or daycare providers, or even work outside the home we all have the same feelings on these types of issues. I spend everyday with my 2 younger kids and there are somedays that I feel like I didn't even see them.

My tips onb how to juggle all of it...BALANCE, thats all it is. Once you start getting in the higher numbers of children in your home it becomes a group effort to keep things running and flow. For instance just the little things your kids can do by themselves will help, such as putting their shoes, coats, bags where they belong. Laying out their clothes the night before. Putting their dirty clothes in the hamper, bringing their dirty laundry to the laundry room on a certain day. Teaching them how to pick up and clean their rooms. Just little things like this can help.

For you dividing up the "adult" chores between you and your husband. Maybe you switch off every other night fixing dinner and giving baths. Divide the chores up in the evening instead of trying to clean the whole house in one night do a differnt room every night. There are somthings you have to do every night like cleaning up the kitchen and giving baths but it's the other things, like dusting and vacuuming, doing laundry.

I do about 9 loads of laundry a week and that doesn't include 5 beds. Having your kids help put away laundry is a big help also. Save your 1 chore for your husband and you to do at night once your kids are in bed. And take 1 night a week to do nothing, that means no cleaning, no vacuuming. It's the one night to spend with the family. And take 1 Saturday or Sunday. the whole day to just be with the kids. And it doesn't matter what you do, maybe it's sleep in the same room that night, maybe it's have a camp out in the living room floor. Maybe it's spending the day at the mall or even going to the zoo or park.

This last Sunday we went to the mall and did some shopping and just hung out with our kids and let them play. We had so much fun. Ou next adventure is when that new Cat in the hat moving comes out march 14th with Jim Carey. We are gonna take the kids out for dinner and a movie.
Anyway thats about all I can think of. And hey don't over think it you will do yourself more harm than good, W.

It's also about remembering a few things
* don't sweat the small stuff
* what you can't get done today will be there tomorrow
* if your house isn't clean and spotless the police are not gonna come and take you away.

Hi E.,
I love how everyone is giving exact details of there day on how to balance your time:) This might be different advice, but my husband is a great help to me. He listens to what chores take the longest and what I hate to do. Most people do, have a dish washer but when you don't it takes a good 45 mins. to wash dishes and clean up the kitchen. My husband does just that and he does half of the laundry. I just freed up an hour for you, take it like I do and play scrabble or cowboys and indians with your kids.
Can you work two days from home with your type of job?

I am a mother of 4 wonderful children ages 13, 10, 5 & 2. Yes, they keep me very busy and feeling the same way as you do, I finally quit my full time 8-5 job and am making more money working just 2 nights per week doing in home jewelry shows with lia sophia jewelry. This was the best move I have made in my 41 years of life. I have my days with my daughter who is 2 and pick up my 3 boys from school everyday! So, if you are needing to make money, wanting to still work and wanting more quality, relaxed time in your life with your children, maybe this would be for you. When I first started this job in August of 2006 doing 2 shows per week I was averaging $1200 per month, now that I'm a Unit Manager and still working just 2 nights per week, I am earning an average of $3,000 per month.

If you would like more information email me: ____@____.com or visit my website: www.liasophia.com/carinkleekamp

I have 3 kids, who are now 18,17 and 15...but have always worked full time. It is NOT easy. We really needed my income. I was lucky in a few ways.
I got to take my son to work with me till he was about 8 months old. I had a friend that watched him after that till older daughter was born. Whe also had a second at that time and didn't feel she could handle the toddlers and two newborns. About this time my Aunt and Uncle stepped up and watched the two. About the time my 3rd was born my mom retired and she said that SHE was the babysitter. That lasted till my dad got really ill. That was the year my youngest was 4. OK, that was a very expensive year daycare wise, it took about 1/3rd of my after tax salary. It also took coordination and great neighbors. My husband is part time military and he was sent on a few 2 to 4 week missions that year. I had a couple of neighbors I could call if I needed to get one of them home from school cause they where sick...and I had a boss that actually would let me bring in a sick kid so I didn't miss work (good and bad there)
OK...very long story short...here is what I see works:
1. Have a great daycare.
2. Have a great backup daycare.
3. If you have any ability to - set up a flex system at work
4. The crockpot is your freind.
5. Keep frozen food in the freezer...my kids thought the kid frozen TV dinners where a treat when they where little.
6. Don't worry so much about the house....I actually used to come home though and leave them in daycare an hour or so later to do a quick clean...then once I got them they would have all my attention. I also would pick up the youngest from daycare first...then the older 2 from the school program as that way she had my attention to chatter and by the time I got the two older ones she had her one on one with me.
7. Find time to do something one on one with each kid at least once every other week.