Hello all, My X-Husband is in the hospital with a serious Staph infection. At this point he is doing pretty well, but the infection is just not going away. i just read that the form of infection he has, has a 30% mortality rate. We have a 4 year old together. My question is, if he were to pass away which i am praying to god everyday doesn't happen, how in the world do I tell our daughter! She is only four! She now has a wonderful step-dad, but he could never replace her daddy. How in the world do I deal with something like this in the event he would pass? Please if anyone has any advice, please let me know. Thank you all-L.
Thank you all for your responses. My daughter is fully aware that daddy is sick and in the hospital to get better. I have not mentioned to her that he might die, I keep that to myself! Anyway, he has a large mass of the infection around his heart and may have to have open heart surgery in the next week or two. They are going to try medications to see if it will help and then go from there. He is having other tests done on various parts of his body to see where the infection is all at. They believe that he has had the infection for a while now and that he possibly got it from a cut he recieved at work. Thank you all again and I will keep you all posted on what happens!
At this point I would tell her that her dad is very sick and he is in the hospital. If its possible take her to see him so she kind of understands what is going on. Tell her he is sick adn the doctors are trying to make him all better.
I wouldn't elaborate too much because if you tell her he might die then she might kind of freak and alwyas think he's going to die.
I'm sorry he is sick, hope he is better soon!
just tell her the truth, we had a hamster that died my 4 year old son and buried it and i explained to him that hammy is not coming back that he went to hamster heaven Ty was sad but i think that he understood that the pet was gone. I know that it is not the same thing but its kinda along the same lines. I would say do try to explain it in a way that a 4 year will understand, but be honset. And if all goes well you will not even have to worry about it. Good luck
If your ex-husband has MRSA that is usually curable with an IV antibiotic called vancomycin. If your ex has VRS or vancomycin resistant staph that is much more severe. Both of these are usually worse if there is another problem going on that would compermise his immune system in some way. (I am just guessing he is a young healthy man otherwise, this is a huge + on his side)
My son at 2 weeks old had gotten system wide staph because he had a bladder malformation and ended up getting toxic shock syndrome from it. They were sure he was going to die and later on I found out that he had less than a 4% chance to live...and he is here and WONDERUL!!
My point is that keep a positive attitude, miracles happen everyday. Why shouldn't the next one be for your ex! If he is doing well now that is great since people with worsening infections go down hill very rapidly within the hour even.
Unfortunatly there is really no prep to do in case the worst does happen. Why prep your daughter for somthing that "might" happen...it will only scare her. If things go downhill you will know it as the medical staff will let you know to prepare that he will not make it. Don't rely on the internet, his medical team are much more in tune with what his current status is than any website stats are.
Good luck and here's to a speedy recovery!
When our oldest was 4 my dad had a heart attack. She is very close to my dad. We decided to take her to the hospital to see him (we didn't know if he was going to make it). It made her feel better and we let her know that he was very sick and had to have things replaced in his heart. That is as much as we told her. Long story short we just told her what she "needed" to know we kept it simple. My dad said that it helped him also. It may help your X-Husband to fight and not give in being able to see her. I will keep him and all of the family in my prayers. I hope this helps
T.
Hello L.. There is no easy way to tell anyone that someone has passed away, but kids get over it better than adults do. Recently my grandma passed away and my 6 year old knew her fairly well. It was really hard telling her, but her I told her that she is in heaven now and feels no more pain. We decided to take her to the funeral and she cried through the whole service. I asked her if she was glad that she went and she said yes. Now she tells me that she misses her very much but that we can still talk to her in heaven and she can hear us. In my opinion, it is better to be honest and tell her (if it happens) than to hide it and tell her when she is older. My prayers are with you and I wish you luck!
90% of the things we worry about never happen. So the odds here are in your favor!
If in case it does happen, I would suggest talking with a grief counselor first at the hospital and ask their advice on how to talk with your daughter.
How horrible! I hope he recovers.
Almost 2 years ago, I lost my brother in a tragic ATV accident. His children were 12, 8 and 4 at the time. I had the absolute heartbreaking experience of telling his 12 year old son. Their mom told his 8 year old son and 4 year old daughter. As I've replayed that memory over and over, I am proud of my self that I told him very matter-of-factly by telling him the truth. Believe me, telling the child isn't the hardest part, living every day with the aftermath is. They are not traumatized by the way anyone told them, just by the horrible event it's self and what that means. Life with out Dad.
Prayers to your ex.
C.
GULP! How awful. I definitly would not tell her that he "might" die but do tell her he is very sick and is in the hospital to get better. If you think she would be okay I would also take her to see him. Is he alert and oriented? My husband almost died when our daughter was 1 1/2. I know the age difference is huge but I took her to see him even though he was in a coma and hooked up to machines. I kept taking her so that she could see her daddy...just in case. Luckily he walked out 6 weeks later. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your daughter and her daddy.
