2 1/2 Year Old Daughter Wants to Dress Her Own Way

Hi, a few years ago, my daughter went through a similar phase but it was with shorts. We bought a special plastic tote and her favorite stickers. Her and I decorated the tote and made an event out of putting all of her shorts and some other items that were not appropriate for winter in it and "hid it until the spring." It still works and she looks forward to putting them up and getting them back out.

My son has to pick what he is going to wear for that day. I pull out two outfits and he chooses between the two. Sometimes he gives me a really hard time, but if we pick them out the night before and hang them up he knows those are the only two options. If you daughter wants to wear a dress or skirt, give her that option but she has to wear a pair of leggings or wool tights underneath them. My mother did this when I was a little girl and we lived in Maine. I wanted to wear my favorite skirt all the time, so I was allowed to if I wore pants underneath it. I know it looked crazy, but I eventually grew out of it. She will too!

I think you should just buy really warm tights or sweat pants for under the dresses and see if she might wanna try those. also a warm jacket. maybe get some pretty winter dresses for her. Girls this age are testing there bounderies yet they just want freedom. and if freedom is what your kid wants to wear I'd just let it happen. I mean it's not like she does not want anything at all. And she'll be fine, she just needs a sense of self right now.

I couldn't help but laugh when I read this. My mother talks about how I was exactly the same way. Unfortunately, she allowed me to wear whatever I wanted (weather appropriate, of course). This was great for my autonomy but led to some pretty silly get-ups. All I can say is "compromise."
I don't have any trouble with my step-son regarding what he wears, you must be right about it being a girl thing. Good luck!

put all of the clothes you dont want her to wear out of sight, out of mind.

M., its ok for her to dress her own way as long as she is warm. If you think its too cold for dresses then have her wear sweater stockings, I did this with my own daughter who is now 15. Or I would pair up the dress with a pair of leggings that was the same color or looked good with the dress colorwise. This way she gets to express herself but you know she is warm enough. And its a cute look I have tons of pictures of my daughter dressed like the ways I described.

Its a typical thing for them to want to dress themselves they want to do things for themselves and by themselves. If we don't let them do it now then later on they don't want to do anything for themselves and always rely on us to do it for them. I used to work in daycare so I know from where I speak. I also took many child development classes to become a teacher. But my disability made that impossible.

A little about myself; I am a single mother in a relationship with my childs' father. I am 39 yrs old and my daughter is 15 in the 10th grade and is already 5'6" tall. Which is 3 inches taller than me. W. H.

When my son was about this age, he also hit this stage. I viewed it as a battle for independence and not worth the fight. It made for some pretty interesting outfits. My favorite was when he insisted on wearing his camo rain jacket, yellow rain boots, santa hat and had to carry his plastic orange pumpkin with 3 tennis balls ALL THE TIME! He is almost 3.5 now and dresses quite normally. This too shall pass. And take some good pictures of those "outfits" for fodder in later years.

i think its great that she is trying so hard to get independance, and at least she is doing it in a safe manner. i don't really see a problem with her wearing dresses or skirts. if you are worried about her getting cold, try to get her to wear some tights or maybe stretch pants as well. if that doesn't work, then she may have to learn the hard way by getting cold. i know when i was a kid, i had to learn everything the hard way, and my son is like that now.

Hi M. when I read the story you had to say on your daughter not wanting to wear jeans I just had to respond to it.For one good reason my daughter is three years old and is totally the same way but she will not where dresses or skirts.She use to love to where them but know cries if I tell her she has to where a dress or skirt.The only thing she will where is jeans and it use to make me so made because she is a girl.But I just let her wear jeans and said to myself that she will change and I want to let her be what she wants to be.Because it's not like it's a really bad desision in her life she is only three.Good Luck Always, C.

I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and both have recently tried to do the same thing. I have found the most affordable option is simply to put dresses away during the winter time. Kind of an "out of sight out of mind" kind of trick. I try to make sure dresses disappear around the same time shorts and tank tops do. It worked with my girls, I had a couple issues the first few days, but now they just find it that much more exciting when special "dress" occasions come along. Good Luck!

Target has leggins that come in a million colors and designs. They are cheap, and they catch the eyes of the little ones and she can wear them under her skirts and pants if she chooses. My daughter does the same thing, some of the time she walks out in red, pink and brown with three layers in the wrong place. You are right to allow her to express herself, and it is cold so I understand your concern. She should enjoy the leggins, and if you dont have to worry about how she looks at a dinner party, people will understand...LOL

Have you heard of baby legs?

http://www.babylegs.net/

They are like tights without the gusset. They're long enough to cover the entire legs, they come in really cute patterns, and they're a good alternative to just over the knee highs. That way you get full leg coverage, she gets to wear dresses and skirts, and you still haven't got potty issues. Plus, they give her another option for accessorizing and making weird 2 1/2 year old choices for contrast between the leggings and her socks.

Good luck!

I think it is impoortant for you to find a way to accomodate her. At this age children want to exert some control over their lives and this is one of the ways they do it. Try and get some cute leggins and tights to go under her dresses to keep her warm but it is important to let her choose her own outfits. If you fight with her on it she will become defiant and feel like you arent letting her have any control. A toddler with control issuues can be real trouble alot of times they will switch their need for control to eating and toiliting issues. If you let her pick the clothes she will learn to be proud of herself and be independant. It may not always be your favorite choice but it really comes down to picking your battles. I have walked through the store with children in tutus and and grandmas hat. They really feel proud of themselves and thier choice so it is a much bigger deal to them then we realize. I know it is frustrating but it doesnt last that long.
Good luck.

I agree with Anna. Let her wear what she wants. If you are concerned abut her being cold, buy her some tights. Little girl tights are so cute and warm. :)

M.,
Well maybe you could make a game out if it, like find me the blue sweater, oh lets match some clothes and lay them out on the bed and go oh this is cute. Or if she makes a combo you don't like say okay mom gets to make a match tomorrow.
Or do the night before lay out clothes and deal w/ it then instead of in the morning when everyone seems to be more in a rush.
Maybe get some fun stockings for her to wear w/ dresses to keep her warm.
Some days my kids wear the strangest things, and i just deal w/ it. What is more important to you the clothes or the fact that you can't get her to do what you want.
Good luck! sure it will resolve soon.
L.

I have a roommate with a three year old girl and my girl is four. Both of them will only wear certain clothes. My daughter won't wear anything unless it's pink and she has to wear a night dress to bed or she cries. I literally had to go buy her a whole bunch of pink clothes just so she'd have a few outfits and not the same thing. My roommates girl will only wear dresses and refuses to wear anything else. It might be hard but you'll have to force the issue or strategize. You can try bribery, "If you wear the pants today, i'll give you a special treat later." I have an even better idea. Get some party favors and toys from dollar tree. Stick them in brown paper sack and tell daughter that if she wears these clothes she'll get to reach into the grab bag for reward. You can also tell her that if she doesn't wear jeans and sweater or whatever than she might catch a cold and nobody likes a cold. Then she'd have a stuffed up red nose and might have to go to doctor. That ploy worked for my daughter.

Aren't kids funny? I have all boys but my middle one (8) is still pretty picky about what he wears - NOTHING will long sleeves except hoodies, ONLY Haines socks, etc. I think it's best to let kids do their own thing with their clothes as much as possible because, the more you fight it, the worse it gets. I'm assuming you've already had the discussion about it being cold and wanting to keep her warm. Beyond that, I would invest in a few pairs of of the extra warm, fuzzy tights and some leggings. That way you both win. Tell her she can wear her dress/skirt but she has to wear something warm on her legs. With the tights and leggings (if they're the more snug kind), they won't be as loose as regular pants so she may not gripe as much about that. You can also explain to her that the tights are like "extra long" socks; "isn't that special?"

My daughter just turned 2 in october and she is going through the same thing.I will pick out two outfits just like you do and she will throw a fit. One day after about a week of struggling to make her wear pants and a warm shirt I just gave up and let her pick out what she wanted and she ended up just picking out a diffrent pair of pants and shirt. If you have not already showed her where her pants and shirts are show her and let her pick them out. Let her know that if she wants to wear a dress she can wear it when she get back home. That way she get to wear the dress she picked out and you get her to wear the warmer clothes outside.

I have a feeling that my *advice* is going to be the unpopular response after reading what the other moms had to suggest but here goes anyway :)!! I have three daughters, 10, 8, 5, so I have been on this carousal a time or two hehehe. My second daughter is what some might call stubborn and head-strong (ok understatment there) and this carries over to dressing as well. When she was two and a half, she really wanted to pick out her own outfits, and often they were not "weather appropriate". I did much of the same thing, giving her suggestions and choices, but each was meant with MUCH resistance. It was basically a battle almost every single day. Finally, I felt that I had to take back the "control" so to speak and simply choose her outfits for her until she was a bit older, and more developmentally mature. I really wanted to give her a say in what she wore but her behavior made that very unpleasant. So, based on my experience with my own daughter, I suggest that at this age, you choose for her until she is a bit older. Just my opinion!

Your daughter's desire to choose from more options for how she dresses is normal and healthy. If you feel like you are in a battle over her desire to have more choice and more freedom about her dress, you have to check your sense of struggle against your ultimate goal. So, ask yourself, "is this something worth battling over?" We lived in Montana, where the wind chill factor can get as low as 20 degrees below zero, and my daughter wore dresses every day. This lasted until she started first grade. Then she never wanted to wear dresses because no one else wore dresses to school. So this struggle is temporary. I noticed other ladies mentioned the tights designed with snaps at the crotch to accommodate potty training. These work great. What I wanted to respond to was the matter of "battles". The best advice anyone ever gave me was "pick your battles" and "if you have a battle, make sure that you always win the battle." At the age of 2, your daughter is asserting her desire to pick clothes for herself, to refuse the things you've chosen as her options, because she wants real control over her choices. If her choice in this matter does not pose a risk to her health or safety, it is an ideal situation to begin the process of informing her about things she should consider as she makes choices for herself. It's also an ideal time to talk with her about what she likes and doesn't like, and to share with her what you like and dislike (and why).

In my experience, my difficulty was always my reaction to my daughter's choices and behavior, not the actual outcome of her choice or behavior. Her independence often seemed to resist my authority and disrespect me. But it was focused on her own needs. When I consider how she needs to be self-sufficient, confident, happy, and stable, I realize that I should stop trying to be my daughter's boss. She just needs guidance to make the right choices. This principle has worked for me for the last 12 years. This kind of struggle doesn't actually go away. Remember: you are the safest avenue for your children to try on assertiveness and as long as they feel safe with you, they will always work out new behaviors with you first. Let children assert themselves and they will become both confident and independent. And when you find yourself reacting, remember, it's not about you. :-) Good luck.