My 2 yr old has always been a sleeper - she actually could sleep longer than I could right after coming home from the hospital! She's been sleeping through the night (except when ill) since she was 6 mos old. I'm afraid that may be over, however... The last couple of weeks (since she turned two three weeks ago) she has been waking up 1-3 nights/week screaming for me, wanting 'up' (to be held) and then wakes every hour from about midnight - 4:30 AM. This wouldn't be such a huge deal since I'm not sleeping these days anyway, but she's waking up her older sister and little brother and Dad (and the dog if we're going to get technical). My question is two fold: has anyone expereinced this? My 4 yr old had night terrors at 2, but these wakings are different as she recognizes me and she's not screaming scared. Question two: what was your plan of action to stop these? We have a pretty strict regime for bedtime (books around 6:30 - 7:30 P, lights out with lullabyes at 7:30P, and then she was sleeping through until 7A. There haven't been any significant changes in her life: no move, no divorce, no dietary changes, no nap changes (she has one 2.5 - 3 hr nap/day), no childcare changes. I'm at a loss... Thank you in advance for any insight!
Maybe it is as simple as it is time to cut out the nap, or at least shorten it. My youngest daughter took naps until age 4 1/2. However my oldest daughter quit taking naps at 2 1/2.
Good luck!
I agree with Jerri W. She needs you! Even though her brother was born four months ago, so it may not seem obvious that it's related, it is still a HUGE change in her life, and the effect on her of having a younger sibling may even become stronger as the baby grows and is awake more and takes up more space in the family. Also since she has an older sibling, she may feel kind of lost in the middle. And being two years old can be a difficult time anyway - being on the cusp of babyhood and childhood - being in some ways big and in other ways little. She is telling you very clearly that she needs you, so PLEASE respond to her right away and give her what she needs. She will probably begin sleeping longer stretches again soon, after she feels really secure that you will always be there for her whenever she needs you, day or night. I'm also a strong advocate of cosleeping, as I think it is one of the best ways of helping children grow up feeling really safe and secure and therefore more independent as they grow (I speak from experience of sleeping with both of mine, who are now grown and sleep with their children). I don't know if you're sleeping with the baby, but if so (or even if not), I'd encourage you to bring your two-year-old into bed with you too when she wakes up during the night. Or at least hold her and snuggle her back to sleep in her bed, if that's what she needs. As far as waking up her sister, maybe during this time at least, they 2yo's bed could be in your room or at least not in the room with her sister. And if dad needs more sleep, he could sleep in another room for a while. If you can respond to her right away when she begins to wake up, so that she doesn't cry loudly, that should also minimize the disturbance to the others. Also, as she grows older and needs less sleep, she may need less of a daytime nap, or a later bedtime.
Yes there was a major change in your house, she has a new brother!!! Two is a big hurdle in a toddler's development, active imaginations, struggling for control of their bodies and their environment. The amount of time she's sleeping through the day is considerable... 12 hours at night and then another 2-3.5 during the day. WoW!! When she wakes up, cuddle her, snuggle her. Calm her and provide her the reassurances that you'll always be there. You're not going to spoil her, you'll be teaching her that she can depend on you to be there when she needs you. Right now she's sharing you with this new baby and everything isn't so logical for someone who's 2. Take good care and enjoy the moments!!
A few quick suggestions:
No more naps (I know it's really sad and hard on you) Use the nap time to give her some special mommy time now that she has a new brother.
More exercise like swimming, gymnastics, ballet, etc
Find some books at the library about night mares and use that as a beginning to talk to her about waking up at night if you think she is up to talk about it. The book "Wild Things" (I can't remember the author) is really good because there are few words and you can add your own.
Spend as little time with her and engage as few words as possible with her as you can at night. Nighttime is not social time.
When my kids were just a bit older and having nightmares I told them to chose one of their stuffed animals as a guardian to take into their bad dreams.
Our son went through night terrors and night walking. First, we put safety locks up very high on our doors just in case he wanted to venture outside. As soon as I did some research on night terrors they stopped within 1-2 months. We always kept our house cooler at night, but took the temperature even cooler in our son's room. Heat is a really big trigger. Sounds like you have a good routine in place for bed so don't change that. The other thing that we changed that was the hard one was not going into his room everytime he started having one. We would both just lay in our bed and listen and pray and then he would just lay back down and sleep after 10 to 30 minuntes and not remember a thing in the morning. I don't know what you know about night terrors, but it's the child's body trying to enter into the next level of sleep mode and at the younger ages that mechanism is still developing. We just had to stop interferring in the whole process and it worked itself out fairly quickly. We all know that there are a lot difficult things to deal with as parents, but I think this was the hardest and most emotional for us. It's so out of your control and all you want to do is make it better for your child. I hope some of this can help you and just be encouraged that THIS TOO SHALL PASS! Would love to hear how things work out for you.
A.,
If she'll let you check for teething. She should be getting her 2 year old molars about now, and that would make anyone grumpy.
Best of luck,
Melissa
You are right, it does sound very different than night terrors. We were experience similar thing around our house and this is what I did.
First check with her DR that she doesn't have an ear infection. Sometimes these things just manifest worse at night.
Could she be teething. Many kids get their second year molars just before or around the age two.
I recognized that might daughter might be getting too much sleep during the day and night. So I started messing with her nap times. Within one week, we were back to normal. She was just sleeping too much. Unless my daughter is sick, I do not let her nap more than 2 hours during the day. And I try to get her down for the nap no later than 130pm (in a perfect world, LOL!) It made a significant difference for us. She is sleeping about 10-11 hours at night, instead of 8 to 9 hours.
So, if she doesn't haven an ear infection and isn't teething, you might try adjusting sleep a bit.
We are now experience a new thing around our house. My daughter says that she is scared. Scared of the dark, scared of the light, scared of the toys, scared of everything and is using this to try and keep us with her or inhibit going to sleep.
Oh the lovely twos. Once you figure it out, it changes again! Seriously though, I completely feel for you and understand and I hope you find the trick.
Good luck.
She did it once for whatever reason... scared, nightmare, tummy ache, molars coming in... whatever..
But then, she discovered it works, and it is way more fun than staying asleep alone! Be strict and consistent hug her and tell her it is bedtime. Lay her right back down, and leave. Any lovey cuddling, and attention will make her want you again in an hour. Make it really boring without being mean. Let her know mommy is tired, and you are going to bed. Give her less attention every time you have to go back in. Also, if she is only calling you as opposed to crying for you, ignore her. Consider putting a couple books or toys within reach so she'll get distracted when she wakes and hopefully will fall back asleep without needing you. Be sure you are making her fall asleep on her own to begin with at night. If you are rocking her to sleep then she'll need that every time she wakes at night too. Lastly, if you are using a baby monitor, unplug it! You don't need to wake up at every little whimper, and if she really needs you, she's loud enough to let you know it.
As for waking everyone else, get them loud fans in their rooms until this phase passes.
She may have seen something that has turned itself into repeating nightmares. My son once had a nightmare about Oscar the Grouch at that age. Give her something warm and snuggly to cuddle as she goes back to sleep. It's good to let her know you are there when she needs you, but don't hold her too long before you put her back to bed. She will see the consistent support you give her and may calm herself down in the future.
My son turned 2 at the end of Oct, I found not turning on his 6 min. of music before bed helped. I read that if a child gets things to fall asleep to and then it's not on when she goes back to sleep it's a little harder. I taught my son to take a deep breathe or two and practice relaxing his body right before bed. Sometimes I even say, "just breathe and sink into the pillow so you feel comfy." I tried making it dark, w/ just a night light, and quiet. When he wakes in the middle of the night he knows how to get back to sleep. All people wake in the night. Once he said I don't like the blankie, so I switched and said take a deep breath and relax and then he said thank you mama. More exercise and a 2.5 hour nap and then I wake him. Good luck. I think he's just adjusting to being two. We still read a couple books at night and occasional lullaby's. Hang in there.
