My 20 month old daughter who has always been a great sleeper until this week is now getting up screaming after just having been laid down in her crib for the night. We have tried going in, telling her it's night..night time and laying her back down ~ she keeps screaming. So, last night we let her "cry it out" for about an hour, then my husband went in and laid with her on the floor. The night before, I gave in and let her come to bed with us.
We don't want to get into this habbit, but we don't know how to break it.
HELP!
my daughter did the same thing a couple weeks ago and she's 22 mos. Luckily, it didn't last longer than 2 weeks.
Great sleepers in my opinion don't suddenly start to become bad sleepers, there is usually something that is leading to it, and usually will work itself out, as others have said first rule out ears, tummy, and teeth, I am going through this with my 19 month old who is normally a good sleeper and does it on his own and never once did I have to let him CIO and rarely did he fuss, I am suspecting it is his molars coming in so I play by his rules for know and will give it some time cause I have learned after 7 kids that it really is a small portion of time in thier lives. Goodluck whichever technique you try!
As far as sleeping habits go, I'm not a fan of the cry it out method. Everyone has their own opinion and so it should be. I would recommend a book called Night Time Parenting by Dr. William Sears. It's a great book about getting your little ones to sleep without a struggle. He's a big fan of sleep sharing (sleeping with your child) but he even suggests that simply sleeping near your child can help. We have done that with my daughter and it has always worked well. She sleeps in our room in her crib and we haven't had many problems. You could also try a matress on the floor next to your bed for your child so they know you're close. Eventually as your child grows more secure you can maybe transfer her to her own bed after she's asleep. Good luck!!
Have you tried a hot water bottle?
There are a couple of things you can try. It will take some time and in the end it should be ok. First thing i would do when she starts to cry is let her cry for a while 10 to 15 minutes. Then go in pick her up tell her you love her and its night night time. Put her back in her crib and walk out. If she starts to cry again let her cry for longer 20 to 25 minutes. Go in again and this tim do not pick her up. Rub her back or her head and tell her again i love you and its night night time. This way she sees that you care and you are also letting her know you are in control. Then walk out of the room again. And if she cries again let her cry longer 30 to 35 minutes and this time when you go in do not touch her at all. Tell her love her and it's night night time and walk out. After this i would not go back in at all. And i know its hard to hear you little girl cry. And you may have to let her cry all night. And she will learn that it is bed time. I hope it helps.
AH! I totally understand your plight here- bedtime was a nightmare for us for the longest time. Finally what worked for us was "special time" with either mom or dad. We did a whole nightime routine to no avail until we added special time with one of us. We have a rocking chair in our daughters room that every night, after our hour routine, we still take another 10-15 minutes to sit down and talk softly or sing lullabies to our 26 month old. It has worked wonders. When I do special time, I talk about what we did that day, the things that she did that made mommy happy, and the things we were going to do better tomorrow and then we sing "our song", I tuck her in and she stays in bed and most nights doesnt make a peep! We just brought home our second daughter this week and even though its been a HUGE adjustment- BEDTIME HAS STAYED THE SAME! Can you believe that!? its been so nice to know that at 8:30 we will get a break from the toddler stuff and be able to focus on the newborn stuff before the second one goes to bed and we have "us" time. Its hectic, but hopefully you find this works for you! Good luck with bedtime and with trying for #2!
It sounds like it MIGHT be night terrors (although usually a child is asleep for a while before a night terror). I would suggest talking to your doctor to rule out anything else, and ask how to best deal with night terrors.
In the mean time, try to look at the big picture too. Before you know it she'll be going off to kindergarten, then to college, and then to her own family, and before you know it you'll wish you could spend a night in her room again.
Just a quick thought. Is she scared of something? Has she seen something that makes her nervous? My daughter has always had a vivid imagination and it only took once seeing something that I thought was innocent to have her start dreaming about it and feeling scared. I know she is only 20 months old, but try to talk to her and figure out if something like that is going on. Then it just takes time and patience and helping her feel secure. It will pass. Good luck.
My son needed a night-light. Soothing music also helps. We found a neat toy for infants that looks like a stuffed seahorse and when you push its tummy it lights up and it plays soothing music for 5 minutes and then turns off. It really helped my 3 year old. We also taught him to pray for God to help him sleep and have good dreams. This took some time, but it really helps him now.
We had the same problem with our 18 month old who used to be an excellent sleeper.......what we realized (just last week) is that we had gotten out of our bedtime "routine"...he wasn't very settled before going to bed. So, now we set aside the 10 or 15 min prior to bedtime as "relaxation time"...books or stories or snuggle time. It really helped. good luck!
You might try changing the bedtime routine to a bit longer and having it a long, relaxing, quiet time. On the other hand, we have one who just prefers to be changed and put to bed, no fuss. He does wake up later and very much enjoys his brother's bedtime routine. GL I hope you get some peace soon! It does seem easier with two in the same room as then they're not being put away from the rest of the family. Sometimes all we have to do is tell the little one his brother will be in soon, and he settles right in to sleep (he's 20 months, also).
My daughter has been having lots of ear infections...and the only way I know that she has another one is at night because she won't sleep. She is pretty normal during the day...but she just isn't herself at night. I'd rule out anything that might be causing her pain before letting her cry it out.
Your daughter may be going through a growth spurt or a period of separation anxiety. I'm with the previous mom who recommended Dr. Sears Nighttime Parenting or Baby Sleep book who suggests sleep sharing as a good alternative right now. Your daughter is telling you something - you just don't know what yet.
I recommend "How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Ferber. He is a scientist that specializes in sleep issues. The book covers many different possibilities for what could be going on & how to deal with each issue. Good luck!
My 20-month old (who is now 21 months) just went through the same thing. He has always been a great sleeper, except when his first molars came in. So when he started screaming and clinging to us at bedtime I just thought it was teething. So we tried to treat that (however, by time this stop no new teeth had come in). It ended up lasting for 2-3 weeks and we still have no idea exactly what was going on, just a phase I guess. We let him cry it out for 1/2 hour every night (which was hard, but we didn't want him to think he could cry for 2 minutes and then get out in the future) then we got him out for about 20 minutes (which he would usually just sit with us on the couch while we watched tv or read a book) then when we laid him down the second time he went down just fine. In the middle of the night he would wake up sometimes too and we would just lay by him on the floor until he fell asleep and then sneak out. I was pretty frustrated and didn't know what else to do and didn't want to continue on that way forever, but then it just stopped for who know's why and now he's back to being a perfect sleeper and even waves goodbye to us when we lay him down--very cute! My advice is just do what you think is best, make sure he's not in pain, make sure he has lots of love when you're with him, and don't switch from method to method too fast as you might just confuse him. Good luck!
T.,
I went through the same thing with my 1st born. We had to let her cry it out for 2 and a half HOURS the first night, 1 hour & 45 minutes the 2nd night, etc. etc. It took about 4 nights to break her.
The main thing is that you CAN'T give in and bring her to your bed or sleep on her floor. That will make it WAY harder to stop the behavior plus it will create a host of new problems. Remember... she's not going to die or have emotional problems if you let her cry. YOU know the difference between her "I'm in pain" and her "I'm mad and want attention right now" cries.
It was one of the hardest things we've ever done, but we survived it. I'm sure you will to!
Good Luck!
M.
She could be cutting two year molars or eye teeth, both of which are painful. She could also be having reflux which is painful when you lay down.. Don't give in, that is the worst thing you can do if you want this to end. It will end but she is also at an age she will try and see where her boundaries are and find your breaking point.
Kids are tough on this and can cry for upwards of three hours in order to get their parents to cave in.
Rule out teething, try tylenol before bedtime or teething tablets.
She doesn't want to miss anything so she is going to fight sleep. Just lay her down, turn some soft music on, give hugs and kisses and walk out. Don't go back in. She will see she has to go to sleep. You aren't being mean, it is so important for their growth and development that they learn to sleep on their own, get themselves back to sleep and sleep well through the night!
She will test her limits. First rule out reflux or teething though.
Good luck, hang tough.
