Help!!! My 20 month old son has always been the best at going to sleep and staying asleep. For a week now that has completely changed. It is impossible to get him to sleep. And he wakes up and won't go back to sleep. He just wants us to be with him. He starts screaming hysterically the moment we even make a move for the crib. I'm at a complete loss. His last 4 teeth are through, he doesn't have a fever or diaper rash, and he's not in any pain that I can tell. And we just can't make it past 15 minutes of letting him cry it out. I've never heard such a horrible scream. My husband and I are going to need some sleep soon.
He could be getting his two year molars or have an ear infection. If it lasts much longer, I'd call the doctor.
He's going through developmental changes. It's common at this age, as they approach 2 years old.
Any developmental change, and as a child hits milestones, they change, it tweaks their usual routines and behaviors. It's a phase... it's all about 'ages & phases."
Also at this age, they are developing emotionally and cognitively...and they are also developing "fears." This is all NORMAL. It's okay. A 2-year old, is still forming emotions, and they don't have it all figured out yet, naturally. They are just so young. So, just help him navigate through it, comfort, soothe as you see best. No need to "punish" if it is normal developmental stuff... they often don't do it just to "irk" us... they genuinely may have insecurities and simply need us, or don't want to go to bed.
These age phases, will ALSO reflect on their sleep ability and yes, it often causes insomnia or difficulty. It also causes hiccups in their usual sleep/nap routines. Just keep your sleep/nap routines the SAME... it will pass. But you gotta be patient. Parents vent about it because it means "we" don't get any sleep and it upsets "our" routines too....BUT, it's actually harder for the child and on the child. They are the ones changing so much inside each month.... and momentous developmental changes really cause actual discomforts or moodiness in them. (just like women! LOL). It's all normal. It's "growth pains" that are internal, and not just physical.
At this age, they also develop "night mares." Which are again, developmental based. Even if a child lived in a cave and only watched "Leave It To Beaver"...they would get night-mares and difficulties too. It's okay.
Just keep his routines the same and consistent. Kids need the stability of routines... and it helps them to feel secure and "cozier" about their life. ALL throughout childhood, we will have lack of sleep. Sleep patterns are NOT static in children and they will change as the child changes and gets older. Even teenagers have sleep issues... and that is MANY years down the road, and we will need to be there for that too and will suffer from lack of sleep then too. So, it starts now. LOL Each age-phase brings sleep quirks.
Do what you think is best.. but I wouldn't cry it out... it really does NOT work with all kids. It's not a "template" for a magic cure to "make" kids sleep. In some, it just breaks the bonding with the Parent and their attitude, especially as they get older, and causes another set of problems and conflicts.
15 minutes is pretty much fine. Don't do it, if it is not comfortable for you. You don't "have" to do it.
Your son is normal. This anomaly is normal. His sleep is normal... it's just "changing." He's changing.
There's a book called "Your Two Year Old" and its pretty good, quick read. It just shows us what 2 year olds are going through.. so we can best understand them and help them. It's a whole series for each age.
If medical or other issues can be ruled out in his life... I'd just chalk it up to normal everyday toddler changes. He just seems to need more comforting and cuddly time. Perhaps too, just "ask" him how he feels, why he's crying, why he's scared, if he's okay... see what he says?
Sorry for rambling, hope this helps,
Susan
sounds like a classic case of separation anxiety. it varies from child to child. i personally don't believe in the CIO method in general. but even more so in the case of separation anxiety. there is a lot of research out there that states the risks of CIO, so it's a quick google search.
but i don't think that there is ever anything wrong meeting your child's needs. it sounds like he needs you right now. and don't worry, this will pass. :) do what feels right to you and your family so that all of you can get the most sleep. :)
i always tell everyone ..at 20 months your babe will probably have problems with sleeping..it will end..just keep at it..you might want to move bedtime later..adjust the nap..if he won't nap try taking him out to the park and at naptime put him in the stroller ..he will fall asleep..just go shop or window shop ..try this for 2 days in a row....this will get him back on nap schedule..then at night..push back his bedtime 30 minutes..u might want to get some kids calm at wholefoods ...hylands makes some...
you'll see he'll be back to normal..don't take him out of the crib and into a toddler bed yet..
my son did the same thing and just about everyone i know who has a child went thru this at 20 months..
now my son is 31 months..it gets SO much easier! he slept in til 10am today! went to bed at 9:30pm..then napped from 3pm to 6pm..it was so weird this isn't his normal schedule..but??
i also put toys in his crib now at night..and a nightlight..he will read his books and play with his dinosaurs...or his sketch board..and then go to sleep...then i sneak in later to turn off the light...do you let your son sleep with stuffed animals? you might try that too..tell him his babies are waiting for him in bed..that helps to get my son motivated to go to bed. also try a good carb dinner ..pasta ..my son loves linguini w/ clams sauce...i had to slurp the noodles to get him to eat it..now he thinks that's fun..but he sure sleeps longer after a good pasta meal.
good luck*
We had the same issue- I think it was just an age he reached. Someone on this site recommended www.sleepyplanet.com sleep easy solutions. It was a lifesaver for us. Hope that helps.
They are sponges at this age, did he see something scary on tv or outside, like a big dog? Does he go to a day-care and is there something there (or someone) that scares him? He's gotten something in his head and I think he's probably going to need time to work it out. I would do as you are doing, I can't stand that 15 minute rule either, but I think this is only temporary. Ask his ped if you are really worried.
When my son did that he had a bilateral ear infection. I finally had my fill of sleepless nights and took him to the doctor. He could be going through a stage or having a bad dream, but it is best to make sure there isn't anything really wrong. We don't do the cry it out either, who does it really help! Good luck.
Bring him into bed with you and you can all get some rest. Something physical, emotional or mental is going on that you are unaware of. Give him what he needs and deserves - the comfort and security of his parents.
Do yourself a favor, so you don't go nuts. Get some homeopathic sleep patches called "silent nights". You will all sleep soundly and wake up happy and rested!! Affordable and worth it. Safe for little ones and adults too. Go to Lifewave.com/kherihealth to order or get more info.
