My 23 month old son has given us problems with going to bed on his own as well. It was so bad with him that he didn't even want to look at his crib with out flipping out, and as much as I couldn’t stand to listen to him scream, I did try the cry it out thing, and it just made matters worse. So after trying everything else that I could think of I found something that worked for us.
First you need a routine, bath, book (we sing a short song), and make sure it is the same thing every night; and make sure she is awake when you put her down.
What I did is I would sit out side of his crib until he fell asleep (I know you don't want to do this, but hear me out). If he got up, I didn't say anything to him, I didn't even look him in the eye, I just put him back down. And with my son, this felt like FOREVER! He kept getting back up, and I kept putting him back down. This lasted two days, but eventually he got the point (don't give them ANY attention when they get up, you are only giving them what they want, and don’t give in…like I said it will feel like forever, but it’s not. After he was comfortable with where I was, enough to fall asleep on his own without getting up, I moved across the room.
And again after he was comfortable with where I was, and fell asleep on his own without getting up, I moved to the door, and then eventually out of the room.
I know it sounds like a lot of work but it works wonders! There was very little screaming from him, and because it was in transitions, it wasn't so over whelming for him.
He did have a setback when we came home from my parents’ house in WI, so I just started from the beginning at his crib, and then worked my way out of the room. And the transition went a lot faster then it did the first time.
But whatever you choose; be consistent, don’t give in, and don’t give up. Good Luck!
J.