Any advice? When my son was 18-months old we had to move him from a crib to a toddler bed. Though he might not have been mentally ready, unfortunately physically he was (crawling out of his crib..etc). We had many problems with him staying in his bed. After 2 months of trial and error, we were able to get him to bed at a reasonable time without him screaming or crying. Well, now...for whatever reason, two months later he has been back to crying and not wanting to go to bed. I think he is forcing himself to stay awake so he can see daddy when daddy comes home from work. I don't want to move his bedtime schedule..he goes to bed around 8-8:30....any advice??? My husband doesn't get home until close to 10PM. I'm really not trying to deny him a relationship, but rather provide our son with a set and established schedule so he knows what to expect...when...etc. In trade, my husband gets our son ready every morning, gets him to go pottie, dresses him, gets him breakfast. The morning routine time is 'boy'time for daddy and son. We do already have a gate at his door. Which he was 'sleeping' next to until we would put him back in bed when we went to bed. I ended up staying in his room last night for 45 minutes until he fell asleep. I don't mind staying with him, I just don't want to later on down the road have a 6 year old who can't fall asleep unless someone else is in the room. I feel so hopeless...CIO worked the last time. Granted it took about 2 weeks but it gave us 2 months of no-fits, quiet...I'll walk to my bed by myself...nights. I just don't understand why all of a sudden he has changed into having fits. I realize he wants to be around us (hence he calms down immediately if I stay in the room), but I really thought a routine time was the best and giving him and daddy that special time in the morning was the best case scenario. Am I that wrong??
My husband doesn't get home until close to 10PM. I'm really not trying to deny him a relationship, but rather provide our son with a set and established schedule so he knows what to expect...when...etc. In trade, my husband gets our son ready every morning, gets him to go pottie, dresses him, gets him breakfast. The morning routine time is 'boy'time for daddy and son. We do already have a gate at his door. Which he was 'sleeping' next to until we would put him back in bed when we went to bed. I ended up staying in his room last night for 45 minutes until he fell asleep. I don't mind staying with him, I just don't want to later on down the road have a 6 year old who can't fall asleep unless someone else is in the room. I feel so hopeless...CIO worked the last time. Granted it took about 2 weeks but it gave us 2 months of no-fits, quiet...I'll walk to my bed by myself...nights. I just don't understand why all of a sudden he has changed into having fits. I realize he wants to be around us (hence he calms down immediately if I stay in the room), but I really thought a routine time was the best and giving him and daddy that special time in the morning was the best case scenario. Am I that wrong??
What time does your husband come home from work? Is it possible for him to come home early so that he can tuck your son in bed? If your husband does "office" work, purhaps he can come home early, spend time with your son, put him to bed and then finish whatever he was working on after your son goes to sleep. Just a thought....
My advice is to change his bedtime. If seeing his father every night before going to bed is that important to him, I would not deny a child the comfort of just a brief visit with his Dad. He can make up for the lost sleep with a longer nap, but these moments with his father can never be replaced or made up for. How about giving him a little longer nap in the afternoon, so he can stay up to see Daddy. Or, put him in his bed and tell him that he doesn't have to go to sleep, he can play quietly or look at a book. That way he will be resting. The promise, that must be kept, is that Daddy will come in and tuck him in as soon as he gets home every night. Maybe Daddy can read him a little story before going to sleep. But, please do not prevent him from continuing to form that bond between father and child. The psychological harm from that far outweighs the benefits of forcing him to go to bed at your schedule. He's telling you that his father is very dear to him. Please listen to him.
Changing the bed time is always a possibility if it works for both you and your husband. The other thing is will it solve the problem to change the bed time or are you putting the fight to later?? Just a thought. I have had multiple sleep problems with my son now 3 (mostly starting about 18-22 months) and some with my daughter now 15 months. With my son we finally went to melatonin because it would take him up to 2 hours to calm down and fall asleep. We are finally getting to the point where we may be able to take him off. Melatonin is a natural drug already in the body, but some people/kids don't have enough of it to help them fall asleep. It was recommended to me by a developmental pediatrician that I worked with that specifically deals with kids sleeping issues. Do talk to you doctor before doing it, but it has work wonders for us. They make it in chewable tablets (I think liquid too) in as low as .5 mg. My son has taken any where from .5-2 mg, we are now back down to 1 mg. As an adult I take 3 mg tablets. Just a thought. Again if you think changing the bedtime would work for all three of you go for it. If not talk to your pediatrician. Hope that helps.
It might be easier to move his bed time to 9-9:30 so he can see his daddy. It may be hard for him not to see daddy. I know my son needs his daddy to help put him to be. This might also make him sleepier so he will go to bed easier.
hi S.
just for a suggetsion. . .i put a gate outside my girls' room. the reason for us was because we have stairs right outside their bedroom. my girls' bedtime is same as your sons, but i don't insist on them falling asleep right then. brush teeth go potty wash hands, read a story and then kiss nightey night. most nights they stay up talking (they're 3 years old) and i don't go in unless there is a fight. so maybe you could make the bedtime for him a bit more relaxed. don't leave a tv or toys in his room, but put a gate outside his door and tuck him in and get outside. if he cries and you hear his cry as i am just mad not hurt then let him cry. CIO was what worked best for us when our girls turned two. so maybe he needs to soothe himself but i really don't suggest you let him have his way. this is also the temper tantrum phase (which by the way isn't just related to terrible twos haha it goes on and on and on :(
so anyways good luck with it
vlora
Just a suggestion. Have your husband video himself reading different bedtime stories and saying goodnight to your son and telling him he will see him when he wakes up (if this is the case). Make this a part of his routine to play the video for him when it is bedtime. Worth a shot... Good luck! J.
I think changing his bedtime might be a good idea. I didn't get home til 9:45 pm so our son stayed up til about 10:15 or 10:30 so at least I could spend some time with him. He wasn't in daycare since my husband works from home and watches him in the daytime. He just took nice long naps in the day which made it easier on my husband anyway. He could actually get more work done in the daytime. I think its important for a child to be in touch with both parents. It seems like your little angel definitely needs to see him too.
