2Yr Old Want's Out of High Chair as Soon as He's Done Eating.

Hi N.,
My daughter will be 3 in July and I always bring some things for her to play with like washable crayons and a color book or Crayola Colorwonder markers and book. We try to go out to eat at a time when Paige is rested like for breakfast or right after her nap. If she gets REALLY out of control, we leave. As eating out is a special treat for her, I only have to tell her once to settle down or we leave. I think it is unfair to expect a tired child to sit still at a restaurant for any amount of time. Remember that every child's attention span is different and plan accordingly. My mom started small, taking us kids out for coffee, but leaving immediately if we got rowdy. People used to remark at how well-behaved we were out in public so I use the same principles with Paige and get the same results.
Sincerely,
L.

Hi N.,
First of all, if, when he's home he gets to get down as soon as he's done eating, you're fighting an uphill battle, and I would *not* recommend bringing it up with your child. That said, so you can have a more pleasant time, you can try books, toys, coloring equipment that comes out *only* it the restaurant-- that should keep him entertained longer.

He only gets fed when he behaves - plain and simple. He will not starve and he will learn what he is taught - behaving at a meal, whether in public or at home, is the only way food arrives. This should be practiced at home because that is where children learn how to behave in public. The rules HAVE to be the same at home and out at restaurants.

You can do it -

Good Luck

+B+

Many two-year-olds, and especially boys, find it impossible to sit still once they are done eating. In fact, many toddlers find it impossible to sit still while they are eating. For this reason, it's best to begin to gently encourage them to sit still during a meal and to let them get down as soon as they have finished. A two-year-old should not be expected to sit still and quiet in a restaurant. There are "restaurants" that are well suited to families with toddlers, places like Fresh Choice or Chevy's. These are good places for children to learn a little about eating out, without placing impossible expectations on them. The best solution if you want to go to a nice restaurant is to hire a babysitter for the toddler so you can get out and enjoy the ambiance of the restaurant. Best wishes.

Hi,

it's hard for two year olds to sit still for vey long with so many other exciting things to explore! I know the restaurant scenario very well, having two boys, now 7 and 4, who still can't sit still very long. I don't know how you feel about watching videos, but we bought a portable DVD player and let them quietly watch a video at the resaurant table. It keeps them very still for much longer, so the adults can acutally get a chance to eat something and maybe even have a bit of a conversation! It has been well worth the money!!

Hi N.,

Most childhood development experts agree that you can (and should only) expect a 2 year old to be able to sit still for 15-20 minutes at a time. Their attention spans at this age are short and expecting them to sit still through an adult length meal is unrealistic (and unfair!)

Our favorite restuarant has a fountain out in front and when our daughter is done eating, my husband and I take turns taking her outside to throw pennies in the fountain. We also bring crayons and stickers for her to play with at the table. Sometimes she will get so engrossed in her art project that she will sit through our entire dinner, but we never expect her to.

At this age, I really think it is best to plan on short meals out and for at least one adult to miss out on some of the grown up conversation, while he/she takes the toddler outside for a break.

In a few years, he'll be much better at sitting still and enjoying a full restaurant meal.

K.

i think to some extent this may be just an age/personality thing and i would not worry too much about it. something i have noticed with my parents is they will expect to be able to go out to eat several nights in a row with my pretty mellow 2-yr-old and then when he starts getting too fidgetty and i get stressed i have asked them about what they did with us, and they never took us out to nice restuarants until we were much older. just pizza and noisy diners. so i think sometimes we forget that there are some things that just make it easier for everyone, like not trying to do too much.

that being said, my kid can handle going out to nice restaurants for several reasons -- we eat at a table together every night, and he does not get up before us at home. sometimes, i realize he is misbehaving when we are having adult conversations, and i will say "would you like to talk about your day while you eat your _____" and he likes that. also, when we go out to dinner we bring books and such, and my partner and i are very good about getting up with him. my man impresses me and everyone at the table when he takes our boy for a well-timed stroll just before we think the food will be ready. that way we get to all enjoy a little conversation, but we know the boy has gotten to run, pee, and wash up for dinner. we have high expectations for behavior, but not unrealistic. and i would never choose a restaurant to battle it out. i would just let him run around outside for a few minutes, and then try again to get him in the chair for some fun time or more food or whatever.

Sounds like a normal 2 year old to me. Everything is so new and exciting at your grandson's age - and toddler attention spans are so short - it's to be expected that he would want to get down from his chair.
My only advice to you is go to loud, active restaurants with lots of things to see on the walls and lots of music to listen to. Perhaps this would keep him entertained a bit longer.

Hi N.,
I have a 2-year-old son who is the same way. We keep him entertainined in the high chair by offering "dessert" - small treats like chocolate raisins, M&Ms, mini marshmallows, keep him happy in the high chair until my husband and I finish our dinner. I don't know if you have tried such bribery, but it works for us. Good luck!

L.

Hi N.,

You might try feeding him at a slower pace. Finger foods a little at a time. Just taking sips from the sippy cup, not bottoms up/chug in down. Sounds like he may be a fast eater?? Is he still into Cherrios? Those can take some time.

Above ALL, if he does become fussy, don't let him down to run around. No matter how cute you child is (and we all think ours is the cutest)...It's really annoying to hear a child screaming or running around...also dangerous for the child and the wait staff.

I took my son out to fast food and very upscale places early on. By the time he was three, he was always welcome and enjoyed the attention he received from the wait staff for his good manners. The good manner training began at home...if you let them do what ever they want at home, you can't expect them to change when they are out in public.

Hi N.,

My son does the same thing- what I do is tell him that if he is quiet during dinner and eats his food, he will get a toy to play with when he is done. Sometimes it works,sometimes it doesn't. But usually if he knows which toy he will be playing with, he does really well. Good luck!

Molly

I read somewhere that a lot of restaurants (especially Pizza parlors or Mexican food) will give you raw dough for the kids to play with. If they don't, you can bring it. They can eat it and play with it.

Unfortunately, this is what 2 yr olds do...they are testing out their new mobility and autonomy. They love to explore and run around!

Limit trips out to eat and if he is not grumpy when he is sleepy, go right before naptime or eat out a little later in the evening so he will be tired and more likely to sit and color or play with cars. If he is better behaved after he has napped, let him have some vigorous play time just before you go to the restaurant and take lots of things to keep him busy. Chances are that you will still have to take him outside for a couple laps around. If he can be bribed, tell him he can have a special toy or a scoop of ice cream if he eats his food and is a good boy. This phase will pass in another year...or more. :D

Good luck!

I have a bag of "restaurant cars" that only come out at restaurants. They are small matchbox/hot wheels cars and my son loves them. Sometimes he still gets crazy, but they really help keep his attention better than crayons (which he eats or throws). We eat out a lot and sometimes my husband and I also take shifts taking him outside for a quick run. Giving him a plate of spaghetti with butter keeps them busy for a long time.. so does a big bowl of white rice.. busy and not too messy.

This issue took me by surprise with my younger daughter. My older daughter was able to sit still and be very well-behaved during "grown-up" meals when she was 2. Not so with my little one!

We have discovered that with her, she needed practice. So we took her to places like McDonalds and would withhold the toy in the happy meal until after she was done eating and was able to sit still for 10 minutes or so. Once we were sure she could succeed at that, we would bring her with us for lunch in a nicer restaurant. We have not progressed to dinner in a nice restaurant yet. (She will turn 3 this week; it's a work in progress.)

A comfortable booster seat does help. We bought a "Cooshee Booster" that seems to be comfortable for her and allows her to sit still longer at the table. Overall though it just seems to be a maturity issue from child to child. He will get better and better as he gets older, don't worry!

Probably he doesn't need a high chair anymore.

At restaurants, by the time she was 18 months old, our daughter was in booster seats and we took breaks and frequent walks (he'd go so I could scarf down my meal and then we'd switch), and brought toys and books. Crayons and paper are a necessity, and I almost always have a pack or two stashed in my purse, but in a pinch a few business cards and a ball point pen will do too. It got a lot easier over time, she can now sit, eat, and have a short conversation at a restaurant, but mostly she just flirts with the people sitting the next table over.

At home from around 15 months on, she has had her own little table to have snacks and meals on. It was next to our big table. Now she likes to eat at the table with us, so she sits on a pillow on a regular chair.

N., Congratulations on having the chance to be a grandmother to an active grandson. It's the best role you can have! You can try engaging your grandson in some more sitting activities when he is done eating, like coloring, puzzles, duplos (you could hand these to him one at a time while he is building) but he probably is done being confined. Restuarants are not really fun for a 2 year old. He is curious and wants to be moving thru life...sitting is not on his agenda. And he has already sat for a "long" time, for him. Try to find a different option...eating at a park, eating at home and then going out...he will like eating out when he is older...and can understand how to behave at a restuarant...maybe at a kid friendly chain...
Enjoy him...he'll grow up fast! Mom of 3 boys!

this is a matter of "training." He needs to be trained to sit in his chair until everyone is done eating or until you're ready to get him out. His mother needs to work with him on this at home every night. He needs to be told that he must sit in his chair until mom is ready to get him out and no matter how much he fusses, let him sit there. If he really starts to throw a tantrum, then he sits in the chair until the tantrum is over. Once he's acting like a "good boy" again, he can get down. If he doesn't get trained now, you'll never be able to take him out to eat because he will continue to do this and as he gets older, he'll simply get up from the table and cause a commotion in the restaurant. It's a matter of who's in charge and he needs to know it's mom, not him!

Two years old is a bit young to expect him to sit thru a meal. Make sure he's only going to kid/family-friendly restaurants &/or places that are loud so that any noise he makes won't be too disturbing. Don't try to go out for late dinners but instead try to go at times that he typically eats at home. Bring along small, quiet toys for him to play w/as well as snacks & sippy cups. I always have crayons & scratch paper w/me. Those little tubs of Play-doh are great, too. Stickers keep kids occupied. Between my sister & I we have 3 boys the same age & we both learned we need to eat fast & in shifts! Our youngest son is just 3 & my husband & I still have to do this at times. It works out even better when my folks are w/us....that way there's more adults & less rushing to eat & head off any potential problems. I'd also suggest you not try to reason w/a 2 yr old or bribe him...'if you sit in your chair you can have ....' He's still kinda young for that concept & chances are, he'll be so interested in the toy that he won't listen to your requests to stay seated & then flip out when he can't have it immediately. Above all, keep in mind that leasurely (SP?) meals will be few & far between for some time now & that you need to be ready to vacate at a moments notice & possibly get your food to go.

Wait until he is 3 before you head out to some where fancy.

I have 2 thoughts:
1. At 2, I would bring my daughter's favorite treats (blue berries) as her dessert and that will keep her busy for a while. Or some coloring.

2. Some kids will throw a fit, and in those cases, I don't think the parents could do much about it but take them home, and wait till they're more mature to 'listen' and learn to keep themselves busy and not cry. Or keep dinner out really short until they grow up a bit more.

This too shall pass!

I didn't think it would, but it has. from around 18 months until now was tough! My very active daughter is now 2 years, 10 months and we're "over the hump". Probably not every time - but I've seen it happen now. I agree with lots of the other advice - have to have something to do - the crayons, dough or berries all work for short periods. We also only went to what I call "5 bell" restaurants (as in 5 bells in the review = very noisy.

One mistake I kept making was getting her food served early to keep her quiet/occupied. This just shortened the time I got to eat in peace. Better to have someone walk them around if needed before the food comes than while someone's food is getting cold.

Enjoy!

The trick I used was to bring a toy/book/coloring/anything my kids were interested in doing that would hold their attention until we could finish dinner. I would put it on the tray and try to keep them distracted that way. It did not always work, but usuakky gave us the time to finish dinner.