3 Week Old Sleeping Question Again

Kathleen,
If you will look at The happiest baby on the block, you can get it free at the Library, it really will help you to solve these problems. Babies need us at first and cry to let us know. Helping them to find the soothing of the safety of the womb helps them to feel safe and comfortable. That includes swaddling tightly so thier arms can't get out, white noise very loud, often continous movement. All put together it works well but it needs to be in the right order and consistent.
email me off group for more information.
K. @ The Nestingplace

I know how hard it is to hear them cry but if she is dry and burped and a good temperature then you should start letting her sleep on her own. I don't think they are able to self soothe at this age (mine weren't able to until 6 weeks). Let her cry for a while (5-10 min. is probably all you will be able to handle.) You can rub her back, sing to her ect . . . but leave her in her basinett. Do not pick her up. Put the basinett next to your bed so you can hear her and she can hear you. Plus you will feel better being able to reach her easily. I know how hard this is. With my first I sat on the couch and cried the entire time my son was crying but he's great with bedtime now. Good luck.

P.S. There were several recent incidents of SIDS due to cosleeping. The babies smothered. I'm not trying to scare you. It's just not safe.

Remember that all babies are different but all babies cry. I don't think anyone prepares you for how much and how often those little ones cry in the first couple of months. You are going to lose sleep there is just no getting around it. With both my girls, I occasionally smoked and I breast fed. Not that you shouldn't quit smoking but both my girls were fine and had enough milk and nutrients. The first 2 months (maybe) I slept with my babies. I loved it and it worked well for me. I didn't sleep hard enough where rolling over on her was a possibility and I just exiled my husband to the couch for a while (he snores anyway :) ). We'd sleep for 2 to 4 hours at a time, nurse, play a bit and then go back to sleep. During the day, I found somewhere my babies would tolerate sitting for awhile (swing/bouncy chair...)so that I could get housework done. Most of the time, housework to a back seat to feeding baby and getting some sleep so I just lived with a dirty house for a couple of months. The most important thing is, no matter how you do it, sleep when baby sleeps. Keep in mind, it will get better. Your baby will settle down.

Wow...Three weeks old newborn and possible divorce...no one else concerned here? Kathleen, hang in there. You are stronger than Nicotine. And Nicotine will not solve your problems. Don't stop nursing and for Pete's sake do not supplement with formula unless medically indicated...sigh.

For the sleep thing...may I suggest Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution? She has written a very comprehensive book that is based on research about infant sleep and offers many different angles that YOU can use to figure out what works for your family. Have faith in your ability to protect your beautiful daughter. Seek help if you feel you may be suffering from Postpartum Maladjustment. Just a thought.
Sincerely,
Marianne

Hi Kathleen, I feel your pain! If you're not already you MUST swaddle her and I HIGHLY recommend the Miracle Blanket above all recommendations. It's guaranteed. There aren't any buttons, zippers, snaps or Velcro to hurt or disturb her either. The way the flap wraps around her belly provides pressure and added comfort unlike any other too. You can buy one online at www.MiracleBlanket.com or depending on where you live, find a local retailer. The Nesting Place in Grapevine has them ( see the owner, Kay Willis also wrote you.). You will be amazed! I wish you the best. Hang in there; it DOES get better. And know this is quite common.

S.

It sounds like she may need more nutrients. I would suggest you supplement with formula. I know that a lot of moms out there would disagree, but my 2.5 month old is on both breast milk and formula. She prefers the breast, but I supplement at each feeding to make sure she is full. She never overeats and she sleeps just fine.

I have never let her cry. They are too young and this can cause separation anxiety.

Good luck!

A couple of things to remember...she is REALLY young. She has been in your tummy for over 9 months where she can hear you heart beating, it is nice and warm and where she is bundled up and snuggled all the time. Take this time and bond and enjoy your precious gift - all to soon they are too busy to snuggle! I will also say that if you smoke, change clothes afterwards. Babies are very sensitive and their little lungs are still developing. And lastly, baby feeds off of your emotions. So, if you are stressed out, she picks up on that. Make sure that you have a strong support system and get some help when you are having a rough day. Remember that God gave you this special gift for a reason! Enjoy her! Good luck and remember that your baby knows that you are a perfect momma even when you aren't so sure!

Kathleen,
She is sooooooo young. Just hold her and enjoy her. She sleeps best next to you because that's who she has been with for 9 months. My son used to sleep in the bouncy seat some of the time. I also have pictures of him sleeping on his daddy's chest. If you feel like she is asleep try putting her down, she may wiggle and fuss. If you are stressed she will know it. If you are bf, try to eat right and drink plenty of water. STOP smoking...whatever you put in your body can get into your babies body. I wish you all the best, you have been truly blessed.
L.

Hi Kathleen,
I would be glad to help you if you are living close to Richardson. I am a childbirth educator and doula. Just send me an email with your phone number or call me at my number which is on dallasmetrodoula.com. Don't worry about the cost, just give me a call or reply by email. There are several simple things to do to make both you and your baby happier.

I used the Swaddle Me swaddle blanket from Babies R Us and it really helped my daughter sleep. It was our miracle product and you don't have to be nervous that she'll get out of it like a blanket.

I used the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". It teaches you how to sleep train your baby and will give you great tips. She is really young though. We started the sleep training with my daughter at 6 weeks and by 8 weeks she was sleeping 12 hours a night without waking up. It is also a book that you can use up until she is around 5 years old. I highly recommend it!

Kathleen,
Hang in there! It gets better!! I wouldn't let your baby girl cry too much. Babies have their off days too. And, at 3 weeks, you can't spoil her by holding her too much. She just might need to feel secure right now. Our son was having problems in his crib. We bought a mattress pad (@ Target for about 10 dollars) and that helped. Have you tried a sling? She could be going through a growth spurt.

I don't know much about smoking, but does nictotine give you headaches? I know smoke gives me a headache, could it be affecting your baby too? Babies have extrememly sensitive noses. Another possibility, could she have a slight case of reflux? Mine did, and he didn't like sleeping lying down (you could actually hear the acid come up). Do you have a friend you can call during the day to come over so you can take an hour or so nap while they watch the baby?

Also, I want to say good job on the breastfeeding!! That's one of the best things you can do for your baby right now. I'll be praying for you!!