Getting Baby Out of Parents Bed

L.,

They say it's ok to let a baby cry for 10 minutes. My daughter was holding her son to put him to sleep, so I told her to put him up to bed and he would usually go to sleep before the 10 minutes was up. I think he is still young enough to train him, I would give it a try.

M.

He needs to sleep in his own crib. What if you roll over and crush or suffocate him? if he is in a basinett or cradle try to elevate the mattress.

Hi L.-

We have 7mos old twin boys... one with reflux also. Alexander slept alone in his crib with no issues, but Nathan with the reflux slept with one of us in our living room until about two weeks ago. We finally have him in his room, in his crib. It was a hard few night for the transition, with some crying and restlessness but now he goes down and sleeps until about 5 or 6 in the morning. He is still on meds for the reflux which helps a lot. I do wish we had made the transition earlier since by 7 months he was just in a bad habit. I'd say try his crib for naps and then just start him one night when you don't have a busy day following. It might be hard for a night or two, but he'll adjust. We read Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems. Even if you don't do all they recommend right now, it;ll help down the line.

Good luck! I know twins are a HUGE handful. Are you in the Phila area? I'm thinking about starting a twins group.

-K.

L.
I wouldnt suggest taking him out of your room but if he is able to transition to the bassinet in your room and put a blanket underneath or elevate the head of the bassinet or crib to keep him an an upright position that may cure his need for being held upright. They also have reflux pillows at www.onestepahead.com. They can be used anywhere for upright positioning. Good Luck!

i feel the only way to deal with this is to just do it. he will cry and have a fit but will get over it. i dont really think you can spoil a baby to easily however, the older he gets the harder it will be to break him of it. remember, unless you want them both sleeping with you every night...id break the cycle now. also remember, when breaking a cycle with a young one, it gets harder before it gets easier so just bear with it, keep you ground and it will happen.

If you want to break this habit, now is probably not the time b/c he is still so young and would have a tough time with the transition. The optimum time would probably be around 4 months.

While I'm not versed in the care of twins, I don't see being in your bed as a bad habit! It's a natural place for babies to be. Google "family bed" for more...

Good luck!

-- M., mama of two (now 7 & 9; yes, they migrated to their own beds years ago but we still enjoy cuddles, often while reading together).

I have a set of twins and a little girl. My twins would sleep in the same pack n play or crib, till they started rolling over and then i made sure that there sleeping beds are closer to each other. For if your little one still needs to sit up to sleep, try putting him in a boopy. The pillow that is horse shoe and normaly used to breast feeding mom's. My daughter slept with me in the hospt. and then slept in her bobpoy when we got home. It givens them the support that they need and the comfort.

Best of LUck. Twins are fun to have.

The family bed is not a bad habit.

I'm not sure what to do at 11 weeks, except let him cry it out. BUT>>>do it now. My oldest slept by himself till about 10 months. Then we went away, let him sleep with us, and that was that. It is harder to get them in their own bed the older they are. And the older they are, the more room they take. Some people like the "family bed", but it wasn't for us. We both worked, even though I only work part time, I still require my sleep. Light at the end of the tunnel......my oldest is 9 and my youngest 7.....they do end up in their own bed eventually.:)
Good Luck!

My kids all slept in my bedroom until they were about a year old...I didn't consider it a "bad habit," but rather something that helped me to get more restful sleep. I didn't go into parenting expecting to co-sleep...its just what worked best.

I'd encourage you to gently transition your son if this sleeping arrangement isn't working for you--especially because I'll assume he was born a bit premature, so you really can't consider him to be the same maturity as would usually be referred to as 11 weeks old in most "sleep training" type books.

So to gently transition him...if you have a pack&play with a bassinet insert, that will be VERY helpful. Put it next to your bed. Fold up the fitted sheet and stuff it inside your shirt to wear around for a few hours so that it gets your scent. Then put it onto the bed just before you put your son down to sleep. Put him to sleep in the way you normally do, and then once he is totally out (limp like a dish cloth), gently lay him into the pack&play.

Work with that for a couple of weeks until he doesn't seem to be needing you as many times at night, then I'd encourage you to transition him to sleep with his twin--my first child was the hardest to transition out of co-sleeping because moving from co-sleeping to sleeping all alone was too huge. She really didn't transition until her younger sister was 6 months old, and we put them together.

Good luck!

Have you tried putting him to sleep in his infant car seat? It will keep his head elevated and also is nice and warm and snuggly, more like being in bed with you than that wide expanse of crib...

Hi L.,

Congratulations on your twins! How exciting! Have you tried sleeping them together in the same bed? A lot of times twins are so used to being in close proximity to each other that they will sleep better if you put them together in the same bed.

Congrats again!

J.

A Mother's Boutique
Breastfeeding clothing, nursing bras, breastpumps, slings and accessories
MamaSource members save 10% off their first order (excluding breastpumps) with promo code MAMASOURCE
http://www.mothersboutique.com

Hi L.. My daughter also had reflux and had to sleep on my chest upright. It can be quite frustrating and exhausting. I also think I felt a little bit like a bad mother because she wasn't sleeping in her bed. But what I realize now is that I was doing what I thought was best for her--so don't get down on yourself. Does your son take any meds for the reflux? Mine took Zantac and it helped alot. Also, elevate the crib as much as possible-- you can put towels underneath the mattress if you need to. Does he use a sleep positioner? My daughter slept on one of those until she started to move around in the crib. They are a little controversial these days- I think, because once a baby can move around, there is the possibility of the sleep positioner flipping on top of them.
Anyway, don't feel bad-you can't "spoil" your baby at his age. If these ideas don't help, try keeping him in a pack n play in your room at night so that you can soothe him when he needs it. Good luck!
By the way, once they start to eat solids and can sit upright, the reflux subsides.

like someone else said try the car seat as it will keep him more upright and feel snuggled like he is in your bed. another option is to get a reflux wedge available at babies r us or a position with an incline. if you want to keep him in your bedroom youcan invest in a cosleeper which attaches to your bed so baby can sleep near you without worrying about the safety of the child. you can buy leg extenders for the cosleeper to raise the top of the cosleeper to decrease reflux (this is what we use and it's great!) also try swaddling the baby if you are not doing so already. this gives the baby the feeling of closeness. if the swaddleme
doesn't work you can get the halo sleepsak swaddle which the baby can't kick off - that's the one we like unfortunately it only works until baby is 12 lbs. The sleepsak swaddle also prevents baby from waking up from his own reflexes so he can sleep more soundly hope this works for you! you can also carry baby in a sling during the day to help with closeness he'll miss out on during the night. they say babies who are carried sleep better. you can read up on the in the baby book from dr sears or go to askdrsears.com. we purchased his sling and it is wonderful

Maybe try using the Boppy to prop him up in his crib.I have a 13 week old and he didn't like sleeping in his bassinet. Hubby brought him in our bed. His brothers were thoughtful to share their colds with him and we put him in his Boppy in our bed so we could keep an eye on him. He still sleeps in it.

I am also a mother of a daughter and twin sons. My son also slept in bed with me for at least the first 3 months. I always said I would never do that, but I was desperate for sleep (I'm sure you can relate!). His problem was that he only liked to sleep on his stomach and since that is a no-no today I couldn't do that. As soon as he could roll himself over I switched him to his crib. He's been a great sleeper ever since!
Sound machines with the sound of heart beats also seemed to really help as well.
With my daughter I was obsessed with doing everything right with sleep and feeding. I read every book out there and stressed all the time about "doing it right". Then with the boys I did what ever I could to make them happy at the moment ("right" or not). I just was trying to keep my head above water! The funny thing is they all turned out the same! So, don't stress too much and enjoy this time. My twins are going to be 5 in a a few weeks and they are so wonderful and so easy. I never thought I'd say that!
Hang in there! You're in a wonderful, but very challenging time right now!