3 Year Old Boy Potty Training

Is it hereditary on his father's side? Boys take much longer in that area, May a male work with him on this task?

First of all - why are you punishing him? He's 3 years-old for heaven's sake. He will eventually be potty trained, but it will take a lot longer if you give the poor kid a complex and this becomes a battle of wills. You do need to get back to the Supernanny "relax" method - maybe even lay off for a while - use Pull Ups and contine to get him to the potty to pee, but I'm afraid you're going to have to start over on bowel training after emotions on all side calm down a little bit. Give it a break of a couple of weeks. Continue to ask if he need to poop, but if says "no" drop it for awhile. He's a little boy - he's not doing this to be "bad".

Well as with any parenting issue you get differing ideas from different people. I completly disagree with the first post, I do not think you are creating the problem.

I am from the generation that expected our kids to be potty trained at 2 or shortly there after. Because it was expected we did not coddle them. It was a part of growing up and expected to be learned. So when I hear of a 3 year old getting upset by this, and someone else saying for you to be calm, I am flabbergasted.

First of all it is not an issue of whether or not he can, you know he can. He has decided that he wont, and that is a very different issue. It is easier for him to go in his pants and let someone else clean it up than it is for him to take care of business.

He is the middle of a power struggle with you. So dont play the game with him. Dont put him back in diapers, he is a big boy he is no longer a baby!

When he has gone to bed and is asleep, give back all of the toys. Dont do it while he is awake. he knows what is expected and what he is supposed to do, it is not a matter of being ready.

The kitchen floor is probably not carpet. So he would be safe in the kitchen if he peed or pooped himself. At this point he needs to understand that he has a choice, you will not force him to go. however his choice has consequences. those are that if he will not use the potty he can not be on the furniture or the carpet that he would ruin. Make him stay in the kitchen. I know of a little boy that spent one morning in the kitchen, about 4 hours before he got the message. His brother and sister were in the living room sitting on the carpet watching TV. he was not allowed to because if he had an accident he would stain the carpet. He stood in the kitchen begging to go in, when his mother explained why, he promised he would go. she made him go right then. He did!!

After he went into the living room, he had one more accident. he was cleaned up and immediately sent to the kitchen. he stayed there the rest of the evening. The next morning when he got up his whole attitude had changed. he went right to the bathroom and from that point on he did his best to make sure he made it each and every time.

A stern and straight forward voice was used when explaining things to him. It is one thing to have a child who is not ready, and is struggling with it. It is yet another, to have a child that is ready and is being defiant.

It does just take time. I have 3 boys age 3 that I'm helping to train. One will do the # 2 in the potty because he thinks that's gross. But he refuses to care about # 1 unless we tell him and he'll complain about being made to stop playing and go. But he'll do it. He has accidents constantly though. One of the boys spent 3 days in underwear this week and he was dry all 3 days. But he has had # 2 accidents at home. I'm crossing my fingers not to have that with him now that I've agreed he's ready for underwear. The 3rd boy is stubborn and mom has taught him that she will tell him every 20 minutes so he doesn't think he needs to remember on his own. This last week I finally told them all we are done going on field trips until they are finished training! The 3rd boy finally went # 2 in the potty 3 days in a row here and at home. So I think we are close.

I also agree that getting upset does nothing. BUT, at a certain point they are old enough to get it. We've been working on this solid for the last 6 months. I'll keep my word. We are grounded til they are done.

Suzi

My son just turned three in September and we are having the same problem... he refuses to poop in the toilet and now has even regressed and won't pee in the toilet anymore unless we make him go and even then he will throw a screaming fit because he doesn't want to take time out of his fun playtime to go potty. I have decided this week to make a chart and for three days straight he has a clean pull up with no pee he'll get to go to get ice cream. If he goes poop in the potty then he'll get to go to chucky cheese. For every day after that if he poops he'll get to pick out a toy (from the dollar bin) at the store. Hopefully this approach will work, it did with my daughter but she was potty trained by the time she was two and a half and my son just shows no interest in it, so we'll see. Good luck to you, I wish I had better advice! PS Unfortunately there are three things you can't force your child do - sleep, go to the potty and eat... it will come with time, just not on our OWN time frame!!!

C.,
My daughter was potty trained in a few days, boys are just harder!!
I made a "potty chart" on a piece of poster board for my 2 1/2 yr old grandson.
It has 2 columns, one for pee pee and one for poo poo. We went and got stickers, he picked them out. Each time he does either, on the potty, he gets to put a sticker on the appropriate column.
We also talked about going potty on Spider Man ( in his big boy underpants), that seems to be effective as well.
He's getting it slowly but surely, be patient........
Good luck,
C.

First, I'll say Sorry! I don't have advice and can't do anything but sympathize with you and say - you are not alone. I have 5 children and a daycare. I have pottytrained 4 of my own (well, 3 completely) and numerous other people's children. I'm talking, when the parent wasn't really "ready & helpful" - you could ask them! Anyway, this 4th one of mine has definate poop issues. When he was training he went in weird places, had to squat (even on the potty) and it is a natural position so I just encouraged bowel control. He learned it but in the appropriate place was brief. He can articulate all the rewards, consequences, logistics of pooping in the toilet. However, execution of that plan is now - not even something I expect. I quit! We went through a series of rewards/consequences/creative ideas etc...., he now is in trouble if he's NOT wearing a pullup. That's it. He doesn't seem very upset (inspired to change the situation) but at this point - I was done cleaning poop! He doesn't like the pullup or the poo in his pants, but accepts it rather than pooping on the potty. He still pees on the potty and really did USED to poop there (for a little while). He turned 3 in Sept. He certainly won't poop in his pants forever - that's what I've come to accept. Sometimes we have to choose our battles. :) Good luck

Sorry to be blunt, but I think your reactions may be causing the problem. Pooping takes longer to "grasp". The more you get upset, the more resistant he will be. He won't progress if he feels "threatened" or "bad" for making mistakes. You need to be supportive and understanding. Tell him the characters on his undies don't like being pooped on. Take the poop to the potty, dump it in and have him flush etc. Let him know that THIS is where poop belongs. Constant positive reinforcement will work, I promise. Try to catch him in the act(mine always made "the face"), R. him there and then have a "poop party" when he makes it. A few times of "getting it right" and he'll do it more often. Just be patient - I know it's hard but it will be better for both of you in the long run.

Good Morning C., You have an array of suggestions and opinions already, but here is my 2 cents...lol

Our gr son is constipated a lot and it does Hurt him to go poopoo sometimes. Sometimes I wonder how he got that out it's so huge. He had pull ups at nap time he was relaxed and could poop in his sleep. He always came and told me he pooped in his pull up. When we started with the underwear he didn't do as well, his Mama would throw his underwear away instead of cleaning them. I didn't do that, I asked him if he wanted a pull up so not to have accidents in his unders. Some times he would other times he wanted to try to be a big boy. If I saw him doing the Old man shuffle we hurried to potty. I asked him why he didn't hurry faster, he always said "It's gonna hurt nana" And usually it really did, there would be a tinge of blood when i cleaned him off.
I still rewarded him when he pooped in potty though even if he had started already.
He will be 4 in March, he doesn't have accidents at night or during the day anymore. But the poopin still hurts him. He says He doesn't want it to come out it hurts, he trys to hold it in. We have given him a children laxative a few times, and it does help but in his mind there is pain associated with poopin.
I sit with him and read a book or we do the 1,2,3 Pussssssssssh it out. If we sit there long enough it does happen, and he is always happy he pooped in potty.
I have told him the sooner we get the nasty out the less it will hurt. I have told him sometimes it hurts Nana too, but I sure Feel better after.

I am keeping all of this in mind as I have his baby brother to start on in a while. Zane is only 15 months so I have some time left. *Laughing* His daddy doesn't even want to see Ahhh racing stripes in the underwear, and tells him thats not good. So Guess what?!?!?! I told dad I help with your laundry once in a while I don't like Racin Stripes in Yours either NOT Good!! :)) Nuff said!!

Good Luck C. and don't give up he will make it. Don't stress it, only makes you tense.

Always K.
Nana of 5
PS If he likes stickers or smiley faces, get a small dry erase board and put smiley faces on it each time he goes poop. He gets 5 or so in a wk he gets a special some thing.

After potty training 3 kids, my biggest advice is to let them do it in their own time. With all my kids, they did not budge when we tried to get them to do it when we wanted them to. But, once we let go and let them do it on their own a miracle happened! And, I can count on one hand how many accidents they have had (all three of them together) and it has been over a year since our last one was potty trained. They have to want to do it. Also, all three of them were very different ages when they decided it was time.

i don't really have any advice for you...just know that you are not alone! my son is almost 4 and it terrified of the toilet. he's been potty trained for about a year, but not pooped trained. he did poop on potty for a good period of time, but one time he got "splashed" and now he thinks there is a monster in the toilet. i've tried EVERYTHING to "get rid of the monster" and nothing has worked. he will poop on potty at my parents' house, but not at home. he holds it in until he goes to my parents (my mom is retired and watches him daily). my son is obsessed with thomas the train...so he received some of thomas' magic gold dust in the mail to use in the toilet to get rid of everything in there...he pours it in the toilet, but still won't poop. i've taken toys away too and i agree about the refridgerator...mine looks the same! ha! we sit on toilet every night for about 10-15 mintues reading books...i'm hoping one day he'll do it. no accidents yet, but like i said...he'll go at my parents' house, just not at home. good luck to you...it'll happen someday!! :)

You've gotten a lot of good advice already, so I'm not going to go into great detail. You are in good company though. Mine is 3 1/2 and been pee pee trained for 8 months or so. He is to the point where clean himself up after pooping in his pull-up but he just doesn't want to go in the potty. It just takes time. They won't be pooping in their pants in highschool! But, I do want to advise against the flushable wipes. Even though they say flushable, they can still be very clogging to your septic system. We had an incident with a rubber duck being flushed and the plumber just happened to tell us to also avoid all the "flushable" wipes.

I know it's frustrating. I have a 2 1/2 yr old that has recently "got it" after 6+ months of potty training. Don't give in and go back to the diapers!! My son was incredibly stubborn and wouldn't poo in the potty either. I had tried everything I could think of, but still he wouldn't go. So finally I told him that was it I wasn't buying anymore diapers. He was upset about that, and when we ran out of them he ran around with a bare bottom. He really didn't like that. He had 2 accidents, but after that he told me when he had to go. Switching to underwear was no easy process, but don't give up - you both can do it! Best of luck to you and God bless!

You have turned this into a giant power struggle by wanting it so badly and using rewards/punishments and getting upset. You may as well put the diapers back on him and wait a while. If you wait until after 2 to potty train a child, they are more interested in defying you than pleasing you, and it can be very difficult. Chill out and use diapers for a few weeks. Then try again, only this time, don't get angry, don't take toys away, and don't offer candy as a reward. The reward should be not sitting in his own poop. That is a great thing!

I have a son that is just now turning 3 has been potty trained now for about 3 months. I also have a little girl that was potty trained about 18 months and was fully potty trained in about a week. But I really had problems with my boy I had asked everyone what to do here he was about to be 3 and still not potty trained. Until we finally asked the right person which had like 5 kids a friend of my boyfriend he said to let him run around naked with the potty seat where ever you are one night you are sitting around the tv take the potty seat set it in front of you and while he is naked watch his body signals I thought to my self NO way we live in a 400 thousand dollar house that is crazy if he pees in the floor. But to my surpise we would ask him every couple of minutes if he had to go he would of course say no so we would tell him just sit down and try if nothing happens ok but just sit down so he did and everytime he would go within a couple of days he was going all most everytime within a couple of weeks all the way even if they say no make them try. I really thought that guy was crazy but I was desprite to try anything but the way he explained it was that just like dogs they wont pee where they know they are gonna get in trouble if they have underwear on they think its ok cause its covered so uncover it. Hope this helps good luck !

C., my son is about 28 months and we're just delving into the wonderful world of potty training...i hate it already! he will go back and forth, some days he's fine with it, some days he cries and whines the entire time, and he still rarely goes. but we're still working on going #1. but it does drive me nuts when i know for a fact he has to go and "mysteriously" it just never happens. i don't know what to tell you...but i know this is the worst stage we've hit so far! even though everything else at this age is wonderful. i have no advice because you've gotten farther along than i have, but i guess we'll just both keep plugging away and eventually they'll figure it out...right? off to read your other responses and gain some encouragement! GOOD LUCK!

LOVE AND LOGIC! Daddy and 5 yo are going to McDonalds for lunch, but 3 yo will have to stay home because he might poop his pants. Mommy and 5 yo are going to WalMart, but 3 yo will have to stay home because he might poop his pants. Yes, mom and dad will have to coordinate schedules so 3 yo can stay home from every activity for a couple weeks, but it shouldn't take long for him to be motivated so he can be in on all the fun adventures 5 yo is having.

It seems like it took my son 1-1/2 years to be fully potty trained...we started when he was 2-3/4. He had so many poop-in-his-underwear accidents, and I, too, was at my wit's end. I read all kinds of books, looked for tips online, and I think what finally worked was just TIME and understanding and holding my tongue--even though that was incredibly difficult! I read somewhere that I just needed to be positive, take a "that's OK, you'll make it to the potty next time" attitude, and it finally worked. But give yourself a break and don't feel like you have to scrub every pair of underwear he soils...the really bad ones, just toss them! It will feel great! Buy some more, and just keep on keepin' on. He'll get there with your support and understanding. Oh, and sticker charts worked well for us, too. Our son helped choose "prizes" he would enjoy for earning so many stickers for going to the potty on time..these ranged from toys to fun outings with Mom and Dad.

Sounds like your son may just not be ready to give up that part of his control yet. My son is 3 1/2 and I didn't think he was ever going to even attempt to potty train. But we found a potty he really liked and he was willing to go pee pee in it at first. So we kept the diaper on and he would tell us when he had to go pee pee. I tried to make him use the potty for poo poo but he refused and I got really tired of cleaning up poopy underpants so I went back to the diapers and the pee pee and then one day he decided he was ready and he hasn't worn a diaper since. He does wear pull ups at night though. In my experience, the more you push, the more they resist. Give him a little more time.

have you looked in the farmers almanac? my grandma,mom,and sis all swear by this. my sis was having the same problem and she went by this book and it worked! no more accidents!

I know you probably don't want to hear this but he might not be ready to do this. If he is throwing such a fit each time then it seems like it will only prolong the process. I would say try to ease up on it for awhile and try again in a couple of months. Good luck.

I have a friend who made her son dump his own poopy pants in the toilet and clean them in the sink, when he went in his pants.

I haven't read the other response but could he perhaps be constipated? Our son has done excellent at peeing in his potty but hasn't pooped in 3 days and when we ask he just says "ouchie" over and over again.
We do a sticker chart because I was just sure he was going to be a lot tougher than he has been. He's only had minor accidents and those have been on the tile floor and not the carpet.