Hi D.! I feel your pain. When I saw your post I clicked on it right away because my beautiful, sweet, wonderful 3.5 year old does EXACTLY the same thing. I agree with you. everything under the sun makes her cry ... I put the tooth paste on for her or I didn't I got her juice because she asked for it ... She sees her sister with a toy that she has not played with in over a year and all of the sudden she has to have it ... Life or death. She seems to be having a really hard time understanding that other people want to play with toys and she needs to let them. It is not even a sharing issue because it is not as if something was taken from her.
My daughter is so sensitive. I try really, really hard to address the situation calmly and ask her why she is so upset but sometimes she is upset about the silliest stuff (I closed the toilet lid, or I flushed the toilet ... I sat on the couch instead of the chair etc...).
I also think she is hearing some hurtful things are preschool because now when she gets upset she says things like "I don't like you anymore. I don't want to be your friend anymore. I never want to see your face again." She DOES get in trouble for this ... I know she is just trying to figure out how to deal with frusteration and emotion but I need her to know it is NOT ok to say hurtful things.
I have been wondering if this is a normal 3 year old thing of is my baby has some type of emotional problem.
We are a close family. We are a happy family. It breaks my heart and I wish I knew what to do.
Some of the other advice has been helpful, I think. The log may be a good idea. Maybe you can see if there is a pattern? Maybe she is really tired when it happens and you have not put that together. What are times when she is NOT upset, what's different when she is.
I also had a friend suggest yesterday that I ask her to draw a picture of what she is feeling and then afterwards we can talk about it. Maybe she does not know how to verbalize the problem but may be able to draw it.
I also wanted to give you some hugs because I think a little bit of this advise was harsh. Since I am in the same situation I CAN see why you would consider a time out ... I can understand why you are frusterated. When it seems like this is happening for no reason at all ... Maybe for attention it is hard to take.
I KNOW how you feel. Sometimes I think it is for attention and sometimes I worry that something may be wrong. My child is extremely close with her sister - she adores her, but I am sure she is still jealous.
Anyway ... Send me a private response if you want to chat, I am more than happy to.
And please share any useful advice you get that works!