3 Year Old Refuses to Go #2 in Potty

I would get rid of the pull ups and start putting her in underwear. If she is in pull ups then there is no reason why she would want to go out of her comfort zone and use the potty. She will mess in her underwear a few times, but if it is unpleasant for her then she won't do it very many times. The fact that she hides away in her room to go tells you that she is fully in control of knowing when she needs to go and is able to control it. Also, you need to have a reward set up for her. My son gets a hot wheel car every time he goes in the potty. It took a few months (he is 2 1/2) before he would go consistently instead of holding it until he had on his naptime diaper though.

My son did the same thing when he was late 2's early 3's. My doctor recommended that we allow him to keep his diaper on to go poop but sit him on the potty. I tried that. It was a good transition, but took longer than I was hoping for. I kept him in underwear until he told me that he wanted to go poop and then we put on a diaper and sat him on the potty. He would go. We eventually would cut a hole in the diaper so the poop would fall into the toilet and wasn't so scary for him. I had hoped this transition would be only a few weeks but it took closer to 4 or 5 months. It's an idea that worked for my very stubborn child. He likes to be in control and this was his way of expressing that he needed to figure out how to do it on his terms (I think). We came to a compromise with this solution and both ended up with what we wanted in the end. They are little people with their own ideas of how the world works that we don't always understand. It is so hard to be patient through stuff like this, but she will not be using a diaper to poop when she is 6 so eventually you two will figure out what works for you. Good luck!
-L.

Oh I remember this. I had this same problem. My daughter would not go #2 on the potty because she was scared, well I think that is why. I had to do a sticker chart and start refusing her the pullups. At first she went in her underwear, only about 2 times and then decided that was too gross and wanted to earn some prizes for going potty. It seemed to work really well. The biggest thing was letting her pick out the prizes, she was so exited to earn them by going "poo poo" on the potty :). Good luck!

My (now 5 year old) daughter was the same. We ended up taking her to the dollar store and letting her pick out 10 new toys. We put them in a backpack that hung on the bathroom door. Every time she pooped in the toilet, she got one of her new toys. Worked wonders - it was like flipping a switch.

You could do the same thing with anything that works for your daughter. We tried the "poop plant" (lollipops with green pipecleaners for leaves stuck in a styrofom ball in a pot to look like flowers), but she isn't a candy kid, so that didn't work... It wasn't until we found toys that it worked.

I am all about bribery/incentive to get them to potty. Just remember, there are lots of us out there too. I am currently struggling with the opposite problem with my almost-3 year old - she poops fine in the toilet, but has potty accidents... Egads!

Good luck

The first thing I can say is don't push it too hard. She will rebel and you will get nowhere. Second, if she is fully potty trained otherwise put her in panties. Don't give her the convenience of the pull up. You may have a few accidents, but it won't be as comfortable to poo in her panties. That one will take patience on your part and a few lost panties. Hence, don't buy expensive panties. My son would refuse to go #2 in the toilet, but would go in the little potty. It's gross to clean up, but at least it wasn't in his pants. He wasn't fully potty trained, using the potty for everything and no pull ups until he was four years old. Ask her when she thinks she will be big enough then set a goal. If she feels she has the power it may work out better and faster for you. Good Luck!

Wait, my foot!
you go in that bathroom and you sit her on
the potty and tell her to go!
and if she is a little scared, well sing a song try and make it fun, but she is ready to learn and you do not want to be changing her dipper until she's 5 or 6 do you?
You stop making excuse for her
and make her sit there for a few minuntes.
you have to teach her, just like anything in this life
your not being a bad mommy you are being a good mom.
kids know when you are not wanting to do something and
they will make it harder for you and them.
would you want your puppy going on your floor's?

OK then, would you teach them?
It's the same!

Remember, your the mom she's your child she need's you to show her. Maybe let her watch you going potty?
One more thing she should not refuses anything that you want her to do unless it is hurting her. If you let her do that now you will have problem's later.
You must being loving but frim.
You and she can do this.
God be with you and have a great day.

Wait, back off, choose your fights carefully, and choose fights you can win.

There are a number of things you can't make a toddler do:

eat, sleep, and go potty.

This is a fight you can't win. If you back off--just appear non-involved in what ever happens, just hand her a baby wipe to clean herself off and a new pull up--then turn around and leave the room with no sigh or comment (you can sigh as soon as you are out of ear range)it will take away the power struggle.

Another thing you might do is get her a small toilet that sits on the ground. She will feel more secure on that toilet and go poops in that.

Good luck.

Do you have one of those potty ring inserts for the big toilet? That is what we do for our son and it helps a lot. He won't go #2 without it 'cause he thinks he will fall in. We have a little stool he puts under his feet and the ring sits next to the toilet and he puts that on himself when he has to go #2.
Best of luck!
~H.

My daughter did this too- it sounds like it's quite common. When she was first getting serious about potty training, we let her have the diaper for poop. She said the same thing- I'm not big enough yet. As she got better using the potty, we put her on the potty more when we thought she had to go #2. We had a few times where she really needed to go and I sat with her in the bathroom while she tried and cried. After she went a few times, she stopped being scared. It's hard to deal with making your child cry, but they need to get past this fear. Try to be as positive as possible, but let her cry it out.
Good luck!

My son didn't poop in the potty for quite a long while after he started potty training either.

It took ME a while to sort of mellow out with him and just wait for him to do it in his own time, and, eventually, he just did.

After that, he figured out that he WANTED to poop in the potty, and it kept him a lot more comfortable (I guess) than doing it in pull-ups or underwear, so after the first time, he pretty much did it every time in the potty! :)

He still has the occasional accident, but after that first time, when he figured out it wasn't that big of a deal, it was no problem. He just needed to do it in his own time.

My 2 year old boy wouldn't use the "big" potty either. I think he was paranoid of falling in and he didn't like being set up on the seat insert I purchased for him either. So, I bought a seat with a step, so he can climb up by himself. He enjoys climbing up and down, so it was sort of an insentive for him to use the toilet.
Now he goes and set it up all by himself, climbs up, and all I hear is, "Mommy" when he's done.

J.,

I had a similar problem with my son about a year ago. He was 4 1/2 and still wasn't potty trained yet. Thanks to great advice from this site I got him totally trained in about 3-4 weeks.

He would not poop on the toilet either. Finally one night at dinner I asked him if there was anything that was scary about going potty. Shyly he nodded yes. After more questioning I discovered that we had monsters in our toilet that were trying to get him/his poop. Using advice from another mom here, I set up a step and let him squat on the toilet seat at home so he could see those monsters. By squatting he could see those monsters and either tell them to go away or yell for me to make them go away. From that day he stopped pooping in his pants. The monsters were probably the splashing water.

Hope this helps,
Melissa