3 Year Old Won't Sleep

I used to try to get my daughter to sleep early like some other mom's I knew could do and like everyone told me I should be doing. It was a constant battle and she was irritable and woke frequently. I let her stay up a little later and she does much better and sleeps through the night and there is less resistance. Then I have been gradually working on brin the time back down. 10-15 minutes every week. It's a process but it has worked for me, for the most part. Naps are crazy. My daughter is 22-months and we are doing 2-3 hour naps once a day at least 3-4 days a week. A couple days a week there is no nap. Honestly, sometimes I let her chatter away in her crib for an hour or so. I figure it's down time for both of us. She comes out refreshed as if she has had a nap. I used to be really worried about being on a "schedule" but I realized I was just stressing myself and my daugher out more than necessary just to say I was part of the "norm". To a point I think they guide us.

Have there been any recent changes in her life? Diet? Moving? School stress?

I stay at home so I am not worried about when she wakes in the morning so I can be flexible with what time she goes to bed and what time she naps.

Best of luck! Don't know if what I've said helps but hope it does!

In response to the "she is staying up way to late", FIRST that is a matter of opinion and what works for YOU and YOUR family. As long as she is getting enough sleep what is the problem? Societ says she should be sleeping by 7pm??? Um, ok.........LOL, people are so quick to tell you what you are doing wrong and what you should be doing. Do what works FOR you and your child.

Maybe backup the bedtime ritual to about 6 pm. I would seriously try to keep her as active as possible all day with no naps then after making sure she has had everything she needs to eat, drink, ect give her a nice warm bath with some of the calming lavendar and/or chamomile herbal baby washes and maybe even a massage with some scented calming lotion. Try reading her one or two books to relax and unwind her. Maybe have a heart to heart talk to her about whats wrong and why she wont stay in bed asleep. Say a prayer and tell her you love her but she has to stay in her bed only. Be strong. She may just need something as small as a nightlight, a Glade lightshow, or a special toy to sleep with. You can also try that calming linen spray that relaxes. Running a ceiling fan works on me and my baby or even a regular house fan due to the white noise. If none of this works just keep trying until you figure it out and mention it to the doctor. Sounds like she is scared or lonely. Do the same thing every night and in a few days hopefully it will kick in and she will start to go to sleep automatically. Maybe leave her door open till she gets used to the idea and everytime she gets out of bed put her back with absolutely no communication. If you talk to them it makes it worse I've heard. Don't give up and hang in there. Good luck sweetie.

I also have a 3-year-old daughter with sleep issues. I asked my pediatrician about it and he said that as long as they are getting 10 hours of sleep a day (including naps if they will take them, then that's all they need). Now this is a tall order in my house. My daughter resists naps too on the days when she's home and I am told she doesn't often nap at preschool, which makes for a GRUMPY girl when I get her home at night.

What helps us is to start her evening ritual earlier, but keep her up later and keep it VERY structured and VERY consistent every single day, even when we are out of town. For instance, Give her dinner between 5:30 and 6, let her play for an hour, then bathtime no later than 7 for half an hour. I use a kitchen timer that beeps to let her know when it's time to move from one activity to the next. That has REALLY helped! I also do not allow ANY TV or computer after 7, so we can spend the next couple of hours winding down. That means no TV for us either, which ultimately forces us to spend some quality time together without distractions. You know she's tired, so the trick is just keeping her busy, but keeping it predictable too so she has no chance to manipulate the situation when bedtime comes.

After my daughter's bath I do an activity with her that is just for her (I have a 4-month-old daughter as well), like painting her toes or braiding her hair or something she really likes to do that is special. Then at 7:30 we have a little snack like milk & animal crackers, brush teeth and get in the bed at 8 for story time and lullabies, which lasts around an hour. We read 5 stories, and she knows she only gets 5. Then we turn the lights out and we have 3 lullabies, and she knows after 3 she goes to sleep. She also knows we do not get out of the bed once the lullabies are over, so I have to make sure she goes to the bathroom and has her water by her bed BEFORE we get in it.

The key is the wind down time. Make sure she understands that this is quiet time for everyone, not just for her. This might be hard because you have older kids too, but in order to get it to work, EVERYONE has to participate. She wants to be part of the party and won't settle down as long as she knows there's activity going on. Mine often makes excuses (we've heard them all) as to why she can't sleep (has to use the bathroom, needs water, has a tummy ache, is hungry). Of course you know she's just trying to stay up, but don't let it get to you and really try your best to ignore it. If she screams and cries (like mine often does), just do your best to ignore it (my pediatrician even told me that!). If she gets out of the bed and plays, make sure the room is completely dark so she can't see and put her back in the bed. Just keep putting her back in the bed! Mine likes to talk to her 'buddies' often until after 10pm. Finally, I started going in her room and telling her 'buddies' to settle down and be quiet so Sofia can get some sleep. I can't believe it, but it works!

I realize I can't force her to go to sleep, but I can do everything I can to make her evening and bedtime ritual as relaxed and structured as possible. I don't give her too much freedom because as you know, a three-year-old will use that against you. It stinks to have to micromanage them, especially because it means you have to give up some of your freedom at night, which I know is precious, precious time, but I have found that 5 out of 7 nights a week, the structure works and she sometimes even sleeps in until 7 am! (woo hoo!)

Good luck!

first of all, at three she is staying up way too late. if she is over tired she will never be able to put herself to sleep, so she will feel like she needs to get up and entertain herself. my five year old has just recently stopped taking naps, and she is in bed by 7:30. i think at three she was down by 6:30 or 7. seems early, but she really needed that amount of sleep. and since she must be up by 6:00 for school, an early bedtime is a must. my sister in law used a great technique for keeping her two year old in the bed. she put a kitchen chair in her daughters room, right next to her bed. she would put her daughter down and sit next to the bed until she was asleep. she did this for a few days, and then moved the chair next to the door. did the same thing and then moved the chair to the hall right outside the door. this took about three week, but now her daughter goes down on her own every night no problem. cant hurt to give it a try.

Ok, let's start with nighttime. This works for both my children. You have to have a nighttime routine. Example: I nice warm bath, brush the teeth, go around and kiss everyone good night, then a read a book, then right to bed with lots of love. It has to be the same every night. I'm sure it won't happen immediately, but stay on it. Routine is everything. Just ask the SUPER NANNY!! lol

Good luck!!

I'm sorry but every child is different. And 6 is way too early my 2 yr old daughter goes to bed at 8. My son (now 6) had insomnia was diagnosed at 18 months with it. After alot of trials with sleeping pills he finally started getting rest. But at age 3 he had out grwont he insomnia however there is no way he would have gone to bed at 6 p.m. He hasnt nappped since he was a yr old. And wasnt going to bed til 11 or so at night. If you feel child isnt tired at 8 maybe keep her up and extra half hour. During the day take anothers suggestion and give your daughter some downtime. Maybe lay her down with a nice cartoon dont force sleep.

As far as getting her to lay down and stay in bed before bathtime why dont you put someuptemp childrens music on and dance and run around and be silly. I do this with my kids right before we start our baths and, books and things. I tell my son its to get alll his leftover energy out. It has helped alot. I finally have him going to bed at a deceant time. I now have to worry about since he in school. If you dont work, like anothe rmom said dont worry a bout how late she sleeps in. She might need to stay up later. You need to figure out whats best for her. Hope this helps. Remember tho, every child is different so every parent has to be creative. Dont worry about whats normal. Just do what works best for her.

If you go back to earlier this week you will see I posted something about my 2 year old and not sleeping.

Also it sounds to me like your 3 year old is sleep deprived. I have read on more than one occassion that the less they sleep the more resistive they are to sleeping.

There are some really great books out there. And if it comes to it I would take her to the doctor or discuss your issues with doctor for advice.

I know how you feel. My 2 year old is an inconsistent sleeper and some weeks I am ready to pull my hair out.