Not counting a boy with SPD and another who was abused, 7/17 boys and girls have cried during school time or recess. Usually it is over losing a tag or having something taken away for not obeying the rules. I do not ever hear yelling and I have seen some of the incidents. It was calmly handled with a reminder of the rules. No one coddles these kids or gives them attention. It seems strange that there is so much drama during the day. Do you see this at your school?
I am concerned. I asked the pediatrician if my daughter was starting puberty soon and she said no, but even she has cried at home in the morning and at night as if she is overwhelmed. It worries me as she can't say x is wrong.
Not in my classroom. One or two meltdowns a week I am okay with... but more than that and i worry...
I suspect a lot of it has to do with a combo of
a- growth spurts
b- round 2 of "the terrible 2's".
A) I homeschool my 3rd grader and he has hit TWO growth spurts this year already. Each time, he tacks on 2-3 extra hours of sleep. He goes from waking up at 730am to waking up at 930-10am. These phases usually last for a few weeks... and MAN oh man. The few times we've had morning things to do and I CAN'T let him sleep himself out, he is an emotional mess all day. I feel incredibly sorry for parents/teachers whose kids CAN'T sleep themselves out.
B) Just like at age 2-3, at right around age 8 (between 7 & 9, sometimes it happens earlier, sometimes later) kids go through another integration of mental/emotional growth. Boundary pushing, independence seeking... it's a real challenge... because they aren't little enough to just scoop up and put on timeout (instead it's the "go to your room"), and part of this phase is them not TRUSTING parents... and they're sooooo much more verbal. It's very very challenging. ((Word to the wise, it happens again - this integration - in the puberty/teen years. That one is fairly well known, but the 3rd grade ish one is less well known outside of developmental psych circles). BUT it's really easy to see... because it happens during 3rd or 4th. Just look at the difference between and 1st or 2nd grader and a 5th or 6th grader. MASSIVE difference. And with most kids it's not a gradual shift, but slams into them full force and they emerge several months later into a "real" big kid. Transitions really do suck.
Add those two things together... not having enough sleep AND the terrible 2's part 2.... and it's a very emotionally wrought year.
Hmmm, I can't help but wonder whether this might have something to do with the way the latest generation of parents thinks they need to encourage, motivate, and praise their kids. Teachers fall into the traps, too, of saying "Good job!" for every little thing.
There's a great deal of research available now that shows how DE-motivating current practices are. Here's an eye-opening article by Po Bronson on how NOT to talk to our kids, and why. I just ordered the book Nurture Shock that he co-wrote; I want to learn more. (And yes, I made many of the mistakes he talks about, with the best of intentions.)
Most definitely! Third grade seems to be when a lot of drama starts. It doesn't seem to get better as they advance to other grades either. I think they are starting to get hormonal as well.
There's a lot of emotions at that age (actually, I think it continues until adult-hood) but it sounds more to me like they are seeing each other act this way and not really being old enough to deal with others around you being sad, it is adding to the emotional stress. No difference when you attend a party and everyone is in a good mood - it just sets a tone for the entire room/event. I think it's mood/environment .. maybe something could be planned for the class early in the morning to get everyone laughing and loosened up and the lighter mood would continue throughout the day with no tears to follow. Or maybe have something to look forward to for the end of the day to be excited about -even if it's just a popcorn party for a few minutes (cheap and fun).
weird. very weird. I've taught 2nd grade, 3rd grade, and 5th grade. Never seen as much crying as you're describing. 9 times out of 10 it was a girl crying, only b/c the boy they liked didn't like them or b/c the girls were bullying the girls, making fun of them for being fat or what-not. I can only remember one time a boy cried - 2nd grade. He was GT and was upset that he got a poor grade or that he'd forgotten his homework.
Granted, this was a few years ago (4 yrs) and things have changed drastically it seems - more kids are on FB and texting and spreading rumors. Perhaps get your daughter to journal so she can get her thoughts out of her and help her feel better.
at recess, normal. in the classroom, maybe not.
Wow-crying over losing in a game of tag is not good in the third grade. A kid that cries over this in the third grade is not emotionally well adjusted IMO. I will bet that they have always been treated like a "winner" (trophies for all, praise for every little thing from family, etc.)and losing at anything is tough. Same thing with the kids crying at taking things away and rule following. For sure they are not made to share or follow rules properly at home. They are most likely the litttle centers of their parents universes where all is done for them and given to them and they are number one.
Its just very strange that your school would have so many of them. I have a third grader and I NEVER hear of crying at school-ever.
