I need help!!! My 5-year-old son is having lots of trouble at kindergarten, not with the academic side of things, but with his behavior. He's the class clown, always being silly and trying to make the other kids laugh and being a major disruption. He is rarely on task, and the behavior systems that are in place in the classroom (first a color system, and now a sticker reward chart) are not working for him.
His behavior has steadily gotten worse since the spring, and part of the reason could be that his grandmother was in the hospital for a few months before passing away at the beginning of June - we were back and forth between PA, ME and Boston dealing with that. 3 weeks after she died, we had another baby. Then we moved into a larger home, and he started school soon after. So his world has been turned upsidedown. I know that I've been letting things slide that I shouldn't, mainly because I haven't had the energy to deal with the 'little' behavior problems in addition to everything else. Well now the problems are huge and I don't know where to start.
He needs to stop being silly at school and start obeying the teacher and paying attention. We need to work on manners in general, and dealing with disappointment (he whines and cries every time things aren't going his way). I feel like I cannot go anywhere with him without it ending in disaster, and I'm completely embarassed most of the time. I've taken away his movies and some favorite toys, I've tried a reward system. These things work for short periods of time and then loose their charm.
He's having a hard time dealing with his grief about my mother, and I've contacted a bereavement group for children in our area but we can't join until March and we need something sooner. I just don't know what to do. I feel like there is so much that needs to be done, I don't know where to start. I'm not generally an emotional basket-case, but I really just want to sit down and cry about this. I know it's my fault things got so bad, and now I'm afraid I don't know how to fix it.
The worst part is that he's really a sweet little boy, and he has so many good qualities. He wants to do a good job at school, but nothing seems to be working.
If anyone has any suggestions at all, please pass them along. I'm desperate.
Have you made his teacher and school aware of the same things that you have told in your message? Schools have psychiatrists and behavior specialists to be of service to you. You should look into it!
hello... i'm so sorry you are going through this. maybe you could try contacting the school counselor to work with him on both his grief and his behavior in the classroom. good luck.
You know your son has had alot of changes in his life and you need to help him address these issues..there are a couple of things that come to mind as I read your note..first I would start treating him like you would have before, keep him in line at home. Second spend some one on one time with him, maybe work on a special project like a memory book about his grandmother. I would also talk to the school counselor WC has great people working in the schools and they want to help the kids. I would also talk to your dr...see if they can refer you to a counselor outside of school..maybe your health ins will cover it and he can talk to someone. A friend of mine has her son seeing someone who she said is very good, in the exton area...if you need a name let me know and I will ask her.
Best of luck...it will get better soon!
I just want to say first, don't beat yourself up over this. You had so much going on in your life and I am sure you did the best you could.
My suggestion for your son's behavior issues are to get some proffesional help. You need to rule out that he doesn't have any issues like ADHD or ADD.It also couldn't hurt for him to talk to a children's theripist who can help him cope with all the changes and losses in his life. This doesn't mean there is anything wrong with him but, they can teach him approptiate ways to cope with change in his life. In the mean time you must be very consistant in your rules and punishments. A routine is very important and now that things seem more settled for you make sure you stick to a routine as much as possible to avoid stress. I am sure he will work through this hard time and you will make it through as well. Keep your head about you and don't get overwhelmed. Asking for help is the best thing you could do for both of you. I wish you both the best.
Hi K. - I think your son may be jealous of the new baby and looking for ways of attention. Although it is negative attention that he's getting, he's still getting it. I don't know your situation, but I would recommend trying to spend some quality time with him; without the baby. I'm not sure if you already do this, but let him help out with the baby, make him feel like a big brother. Tell him that he can help teach his sister/brother how to do things. Hope this helps.
Good luck with everything.
D.
