5 Month Old Can't Self Soothe

I would say give it time. Contrary to the beliefs of modern parenting, self-soothing at 5 months is not a normal thing for babies; and you can't necessarily teach it either (you've seen how well that works).

I'm going to get flak for this, but have you ever thought of having him sleep with you? We did this with our kids, mostly because I was nursing and because I was soooo tired (esp with the 3rd one!). They slept next to me for a good deal of the first year, although we did have a crib that we put them in when we needed the bed to ourselves for a bit, for whatever reason. I think we all slept better because of it. (Now, they are 12, 10, 7, and great sleepers on their own, go to bed in their own bed and only the youngest rarely even come into our room in the night, unless they are sick).

Your child can't self-soothe becuase he's a normal 5 month old! He's only been in the world for 5 mos. Everything is scary to him, and he needs his mommy! I have never heard of a 5 month old who can self-soothe.

I agree with the others...CO-SLEEP! read article:

http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNe...

try co-sleeping. They make those things Leachco Nap'N Pack 4-in-1 Anywhere Bed that works very well if you have a big enough bed. Put your baby in it for a couple of months and then move the whole thing to his crib. The good thing about it is when you travel he will sleep well as well because he still has the bed he is used to. By the time he gets more than 52 inches he'll be ready for a big boy bed.

good luck

yep, try co-sleeping!

We co-slept (and still do some nights). Does he nurse or bottle feed to sleep? There's a couple of things you could try if he does. Wait until he's in a deep sleep and then transfer him. I've never been successful at putting them down while drowsy. They always woke right up. Or you could position him in the center of your bed and nurse or bottle feed him to sleep and the slowly roll away and let him nap there.

It's not uncommon for babies to want to be close to someone while sleeping. That's why baby wearing and co-sleeping are so common. It helps them feel secure.

Our kids didn't really self sooth until they were about 2 and not consistently until 2 1/2.

Good luck! He won't do this forever.

I am with Julia N!

And Melissa H!

He is perfectly normal. He's is still learning what to expect and what is expected during the night. He is very young and too young for the Ferber method. I thought Dr. Ferber recommended waiting until at least 6 months of age. I'm not sure about this because Dr. Ferber isn't welcome in my home. Not a method I would actively choose for my little one. Dr. Sears Baby sleep Book, The Baby Whisperer and The No-Cry Sleep Solution all have invaluable tips, tricks and information on baby sleep. I used the 3 of them to come up with a sleep plan for my little ones that was pretty low-key and very few tears.

I held both of my kids till they were good and asleep then kept them very close to my body as i layed them down. I would then keep my hand on them for just a moment or two to make sure they were settled. I never did the put them down drowsy thing. And both of my kids were good sleepers. My son was a champ. My daughter was pretty good but she was a consistent thru the night sleeper till she was over a year old. I swaddled mine as long as they were comfortable like that-my son 6 months old and my daughter 4 months. If he's comfy that way no reason to stop using it.

Oh, you got one of these kids (I know, I have 2). One, some kids can soothe better being on their bellies. 2nd, you may just have to help him for a few more months or so. Trust me, there will be a time, and not too long from now, that you will look back and wish that he would be asleep in your arms. Enjoy it!!

Am I understanding correctly.. he only sleeps for 50 min.at a time @ night too? If so, maybe acid reflux is what is waking him up.? Check with your pedi. My babies had reflux, and medication helped a lot.

BTW- A lot of people mistake the Ferber Method as CIO. It's not. With the Ferber method, when baby cries, you wait a minute or 2 to see if he/she will stop. If not, you go in and reassure the baby and wait for the baby to stop crying. Then, you leave again. When baby cries again, you wait 2 or 3 minutes before going in and calming baby down. Each time, you add another minute or 2 to the previous amount of wait time before going in. It's exhausting at first, but it did work for us with our 1st son. I think 5 mo. is too young though. My guess is that your LO is being woken up by acid- but it's just a guess.

Very best wishes! :)

I've known few babies who could rightfully be called "self-soothers" before maybe 12 months, and often older. Either a baby comes into the world a good sleeper, or he doesn't. My grandson didn't sleep through a whole night until about 2.5 years, no matter what desperate techniques my daughter would try (they even tried a modified CIO at one point, but nobody could endure it).

I co-slept with my daughter until she was around 2 or so, and loved it. It doesn't work for everybody, but many moms have only positive experiences with it.

Another thing you could try is to keep ALL modern chemicals out of your son's sleeping area, and better yet, out of his life altogether. Most fabric softeners, perfumed detergents, surface cleaners/disinfectants, and air fresheners are loaded with toxic ingredients, and many of them are central-nervous system stimulants, which means they will affect a child's ability to relax and sleep. They're bad for older kids and adults, too. Look up "healthy home" or "non-toxic home" for information and alternatives.

I disagree with most of the other moms... I think infants can learn to self soothe at this age and before. My kids were always great sleepers, but we did teach them how to self soothe along the way, and also did use CIO a couple of times along the way. From day one, we put our kids down drowsy, not asleep, as much as possible. After the first couple of months I would not nurse the babies to sleep, (or bottle). I would always do the feeding before the bath etc., then bed. Also, even from the beginning, I would not automatically feed my kids if they woke in the middle of the night... I would wait a couple of minutes to see if they would cry more, or go back to sleep. I noticed that they often were just making noise or waking from their natural sleep cycle, and would go back to sleep on their own after a few minutes or patting their belly a bit. I knew when they were truly hungry. I think this taught them to go back to sleep when they could, and not to depend on being fed if they didn't really need it. Also, some babies sleep better on their tummies and by 5 mos. should be able to do so safely, especially if they are rolling indpendently or just pushing up on their arms. Will he take a pacifier? My daughter used a pacifier to sleep... my son always hated it, but he would suck on his arm from very early on... so we encouraged it and put his arm in front of his face and he would suck on it! He only did this when tired but it started early and he only did it for about a year. Anyway, all I am saying is don't give up... be consistant and don't be afraid to let your baby cry. There were a few stages that we resorted to it and it only took a few nights. My kids are 3 and 5 now, great sleepers and completely happy, loving, well ajusted kids. We didn't scar them for life! And, if the baby truly is having trouble staying asleep, rule out reflux or ear infections.... my son had ear infections monthly for 8 mos. and we finally had tubes put in. It definately effected his sleep, but they didn't start until he was about 8 mos. Good Luck!

That's hard. Every child is different. From our experience with 2 kids, my youngest is 16 months, she was a natural sleeper. she loves to sleep and only a few minutes after putting her in her crib she'll fall asleep. My now three yr old was a different story. We eventually had to let her cry it out. It's hard to let them. But what happened in our case was it only took 2 nights and that is all it took. It's a hard method but it does really help them learn to sooth themselves. Good luck.