5 Year Old Soccer Woes

Has your daughter told you why she doesn't want to play? I know sometimes they can be maddeningly tight-lipped regarding their reasons..

My son, who'll be 5 in a couple weeks, so approximately the same age-range has been really enthusiastic about soccer, but has suddenly started to back-peddle on the enthusiasm, too. From things he's said this is largely a stage-fright issue. He wasn't expecting the rather large crowds of spectators, i.e. parents and siblings, that he now sees are in attendance. It's also a lot noisier than he expected it to be, and he's always been sensitive to loud noises- from what I've seen in his peers, this is a pretty common issue.

I don't know if your daughter's reasons are at all similar to my son's- but I've found that, breaking his objections down to smaller, individual issues helps us to address his fears and helps him to see that the problem isn't so large.

Good luck!

M.

Ignore her tantrums (I know--easier said than done, but I have an 11 and 8 year old -- both in soccer--and have been there!!). Explain to her the commitment you and she made to the team and that you will not tolerate this behavior at the field especially and stick to your guns. Suspend a privilege until the behavior changes. Finish out the season, definitely. Don't sign up for soccer again until and unless you are sure she'll have the maturity to handle it and desire to do it!
Ignoring the behavior will likely slow or stop it and providing positive reinforcement when she complies will hopefully change her attitude.
Oh, and apologize to the coach.
Sounds like you are already headed in the right direction. Best of luck.

Hi K.,
My first thought was: she's 5! I think helping a child understand commitment is important, but she really hates it and she's only 5! I might be the only one to think this, but maybe she's just not ready for team sports yet. This might be overwhelming for her at the moment, and she may actually be building up anxiety about this situation. How about talking to her about the situation, explaining commitment as much as possible, and then allowing her to make the decision about quitting or not. This still highlights commitment, but also allows her to cut something really unpleasant out of her sweet young life!
Amy

I don't have any advice about tantrums (other than that I'm sure they'll disappear over time) but wanted to say a big "Way to Go" to you for making her stick it out. So many people don't know what commitment means these days, and you are helping out your daughter so much by teaching her about commitment!

Has your daughter ever played soccer before, like in a parent-and-child soccer class? Did she know what she was agreeing to when she said she wanted to play soccer? Is a 5 year-old even old enough to really "make a commitment" to a team? Is her crying through every practice and game really helping the team? Is she ever going to want to participate in sports again if she's forced to do this?

Sorry I'm more full of questions than answers. My short answer is that I would consider letting her quit.

My 5 year old son says he doesn't like his golf class, but once he's there he enjoys it and participates well. If he weren't getting anything out of it, I'd let him drop it. The whole point of involvement in sports at this age is for the kids to have fun and get some exercise. Sure, they learn a little bit about teamwork, but that comes at a later age when they're actually able to understand the sport and how the team works.

Good for you for making her stick it out. Like the first poster said, I would talk to her to see if there is something specific she does not like. Most of the time, when kids want to sign up for something, they really do not know what all it entails and sometimes it is more than they thought it would be. I would see if there is something specific you can talk her through or work out. If it is just that she changed her mind, again, I would make her go to every game and practice, but I would not force her to play. If she would rather sit on the sides and cheer her teammates on, that is ok, too, as long as she is paying attention. Good luck.
S., mom of 3

Is there anything that she would look forward to afterward?
McDonald's? A playdate? We had to do that to get through hockey. If there was nothing to look forward to, he would lay on the ice.