5 Year Old Still Refuses to Take His B.M's in the Potty Consistently!!!

gets some cute stamps or stickers, make a chart, every time he get it in the potty let him put a sticker on his chart. Pick a number when reache he gets a special reward toy, Mac D trip, etc

HI S.,

Try this. Get your son his own wall calendar or use the one you have hanging in your kitchen. Buy some sticky stars that you can find in the Birthday card section at WalMart on the end cap of the isle hanging there. Now show your son the calendar and the stars, and say that each time he goes poo in his potty or your potty and can show it to you, you will give him a pretty star. And go ahead and stick the first one up for free. And tell him that when he gets one or more stars every day for the week, that on Saturday you will take him to the store and let him buy a toy. YOU have to get to his level of thinking (TOY - reward). And do this for like say a few weeks. That way he will get his routine down. And praise him really excitedly so he feels good about himself. Tell him what a BIG BOY he is that. Give him lots of attention when he does good. And basically no attention when he does bad. And don't change his pants when he goes poo in them. Leave them on him and ignore him for at least an hour. Make it unfomfortable for him a little.
Good luck!!!!PS You can use this reward system for most anything - picking up his toys. Eating his veggies or fruits, etc.

Dear Mommy,

When your little one is on the potty make sure he does not have any toys or anything that may be recreational to him. Maybe after he eats wait about 10 min and then put him on the potty. If this does not work you may have to try some type of discipline. The fact that he is 5 and still refuses to poop in the potty may mean you will have to be a little more stern with him. Good luck.

Hi there. My best friend had the same problem. Her son was afraid to poop on the potty, so he would run and put a pull up on every time he had to poop. But he would urinate in the toilet every time with no problem. By the time he was 4 and 1/2 it was becoming a real issue. My friend tried EVERYTHING (positive reinforcement, told him to pick out his favorite toy and if he pooped on the potty, she would buy it)she tried every possible reward system...none of this worked.
One day she told him he could poop in the pull up, but she had him sit on the toilet while doing it. The next day, she cut a hole in the pull up and had him sit on the toilet, and he did go in the potty. The next time he had to go, he ran straight to the toilet....NO pull up. He has been going on the toilet ever since.
THis may work for you if he is indeed afraid. My friend thought it was a power struggle too, but her son would totally freak out if she told him to poop in the potty.
Good luck!!! I'm going through potty training issues with my son as well.

put him back in a diaper and let peer pressure work onhim.

I'm sorry that I don't have the answers to this problem but would be interested in reading the advise of others. My grandson, who is also 5, has the same problem and is also immature for his age. I know my daughter would appreciate any advise you get also.
S. S

Do you have him help clean it?? Supervise but make him do most of it. It will be super messy and he'll need a bath or really good scrubbing by you afterwards, but it makes him take responsibility for it and realize what he is putting you through every time. Also, you said you have him sit on the toilet but when you "come back"... so don't leave him. If he is doing this for attention (even if you get mad, you are still giving him attention), then give him positive attention instead by STAYING with him in the bathroom and read together and sing songs while he sits. Set an amount of time in your head and when that time is up (maybe 15 minutes?) then you have him get off the potty and tell him you will both be going back in a few minutes-- then monitor him like a hawk to see if he just goes in the other room to do it in his pants and catch him before he does it!

Also-- have you ever used suppositories? I had to use them a couple of times when my daughter would withhold it and it got to large/hard for her to push out-- she HATED them... so after a while I'd tell her (without getting mad!) that she had a choice-- sit on the potty and push it out or I would have to use a suppository. We made sure to drink a lot and eat lots of fiber to keep it soft enough, and once I'd mention the suppository, it would magically come out on the potty--haha!! Ask the pharmacist (or your doctor) which ones to use based on his size- the baby ones were too small so we had to use a plastic knife and cut up the adult ones.

One last thing-- you didn't mention school, but if he's 5 I assume he is in kindergarten?? The other kids at school will pick on him and laugh at him, unfortunatly, if he does that at school

He must be getting something out of it or he wouldn't continue the behavior (attention?) My suggestion would be to reward him with a prize (something on the larger side) when he does his BM in the potty.

Here's how it went for me: When we potty trained my son, he refused to go BM in the potty, no matter how much I pleaded with him. He wore pull-ups at night, so he would either wait until he had the pull-up on and go at night or he would hold it as long as he could, and then he would ask me to put a pull-up on. One day, I finally refused to get a pull-up and told him he HAD to go in the potty no matter what. Instead, he figured out how to get one of his little brother's diapers out of the drawer and diapered himself!

He wasn't going to do a BM in the potty just because I was telling him too. He needed more motivation.

We bought him a special toy (nothing outrageous - a toy train for about $25) and we showed it to him in the evening (around the time he would normally have to go). He got very excited, and then I explained that we would only open the toy if he went poo-poo in the potty. He decided he would try, but he didn't go (I think he thought just trying would get him the toy) so no toy. We put it away unopened and told him he could not have it until he went poo-poo in the potty.

He was determined though, and tried again, and sat on that potty until he went. We sang the potty song (something I just made up), did the potty dance, gave him the toy and made a big deal out of it.

At bed time, we put the toy away, and told him that it was special and he could only play with it after going poo-poo in the potty. So, the next night he was excited to have his BM in the potty and get to play with his toy again. He liked the idea that it was special that way. Also, I made sure that his little brother was not allowed to play with it, so that made it even more special to him. He went on that way for about a week or so and eventually stopped asking for the toy after every BM but continued to use the potty.

Ok this is what I did for my daughter,

I took her to Wal-Mart and I let her pick out something that she really wanted. I bought it for her and I told her that if she goes #2 in the potty for 4 days in a row that I would give it to her.

She tried to make it the four days and she couldn't, so I said now you can start over and try again ~ I told her DON'T EVER GIVE UP, KEEP TRYING UNTIL YOU GET IT.

She tried again and she made it. I gave her the toy and as I handed it to her I told her that if she stops going #2 in the potty that I was going to take her new toy away and that she would not get it back.

From that day on she never pooped in her pants again.

------------------------------------------------------------

Do you know when your child is about to go #2?
Like, after dinner.
Or after lunch.

If you do not know when he is getting ready to go then you need to set up a time for him to TRY to go #2 in the potty.

Let’s say, that at 5pm you say to him LETS GO #2 IN THE POTTY.
Don't ask him if he has to go. Tell him that it is time to try to go in the potty because it is no longer going to be aloud for him to go in his pants.

When he goes to the potty to use it keep the door 3/4 shut and you need to stand outside of the bathroom and keep an eye on him without him seeing you watch him.
Tell him that you want him to have his privacy so you will stand outside of the bathroom but that you are also there to help him when he is done.

Tell him that he is a good boy and that you know that he can do this because he is getting bigger and bigger everyday.

I wish you and him the best with this and please never treat him bad when he does make a mistake because it is not easy being little.
............................................................
I have a poem that I want you to read. :)

TO MY CHILD

Just for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.
Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.
Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.
Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.
Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles..
Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.
Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.
Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.
Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.. !
Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.
Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.
Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.
Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.
Just for this evening when I run my fingers through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.
I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore.

And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day......... .....

Hi. I am a 29 year old father. Me and my wife have had a wonderful life together. God blessed us with a child too. Our daughter's name is Rachel, and she is 10 years old. Not long ago did the doctors detect brain cancer in her little body.

A friend of mine sent this to me and I wanted to share it with you.

God bless and take care and enjoy your children always.

ohh S....I am sorry I am not answering to you with the solution,just to tell you....I am in the same boat!!!!, my 5 years old adorable girl refuse to go to the toilet...I had tried e-ve-ry-thing I read, bought books,called friends therapyts, bought all kind of toilets trainner, talked to her doctors...the answer is.."give her time, when she is ready she will do it".
I can't wait to hear the answers! help please everybody!!

He has been withholding for 2 1/2 years?? And no intestinal problems?

That aside. You said yourself that getting him to go is a "power struggle every day". There's the answer. You can't win. He has the power, and he knows it. So give up the battle. If he goes in his pants, say absolutely nothing. Wait for him to come to you for help. Then help him clean up (in a completely removed tone of voice) with only the absolute minimal required conversation. No eye contact. Then immediately go back to what you were doing before. There should be absolutely nothing rewarding about the experience.
The same day you start this, you should also implement a reward system for using the potty for BMs. Just get a piece of poster board, or a calendar, and for each time he goes BM in the potty he can put a sticker (pick out his fav. superhero or characters) on the board. When he gets 5 (or 10, whatever you think), he gets a prize... choose something in advance to show him, or take him to the store afterwards, or let it be a trip to get ice-cream cones, or whatever..). The sticker will be short-term immediate reward, and the accumulation of them gives him a goal more substantial than a sticker for continued success.

After a while, he won't need the stickers anymore.. He'll be too busy getting his hands washed and trying to get back to whatever he was doing before he used the potty, to want to stop for stickers...

Be sure you keep a basket of books he likes right next to the potty so he can pick them up and look at them while he is sitting there.

Good luck to you both!