5 Yr Old Bday Party-donations Instead of Gifts?

Please, don't do it. I was tempted myself, but a child will not truly understand this at this young age. She will be jealous and wonder why she was the only one not good enough, not liked enough to get presents.

My SIL did this and the look of devastation on her kids faces was heart breaking when they opened books that they liked but were meant for charity. The kids were briefed beforehand but were just too young. My nephew was only 3 at the time and oh did he cry right there in front of us. I hated the idea of buying for someone other than my niece and nephew and still bought them regular gifts as well. I think if someone wants to donate they should do it on their own and not use birthday parties and other people's money for this personal choice.

I disagree with this, especially if you think you're going to have to talk your kid into it. I would still bring a present even if I received an invitation like this.

I think if you want to have a party with charity donations instead of gifts, you should do it for your own birthday, and let your son choose what he would like for his birthday.

We've been to a Scooby-Doo themed birthday party with donations to the Humane Society requested as gifts. It was really nice, since the list from the Humane Society included lots of things we had around the house, like old towels and pillows. The birthday girl's thank you note included a picture of her with the huge pile of donations at the animal shelter with the happy volunteers. Definitely a win!

I don't think he's too young, and I think it's a wonderful idea...or let me throw this idea out there!!! I think you'll love it...

For my friend's son's 4th birthday, in leui of gifts, it was an "adventure" party...if you want to give a gift, give an adventure...he got all kinds of cool things! out to movies, a day of shopping, a piano lesson, etc. Just a thought! He is still enjoying the adventure occassionally and it was 8 mo. ago! :)

I like the idea but I have a 3.5 year old who I know would have a hard time with it. That is their special time and gifts are part of it. Plus there is so much new stuff out there that they want. I totally understand teaching them a lesson and my son isn't 5 yet so maybe he would understand better. I think if he doesn't understand, maybe you let him get gifts but have him donate some of his existing toys instead.

One of my girls' friends had a book party for her 7th b-day. The invite asked that instead of gifts, to please provide a book for a child. The books were split between a hospital and a children's charity to be given to ill or homeless kids or abused kids. Of course, she also got gifts because some are very generous so don't get too upset if they get gifts anyway. My girls could not go because they would not behave-gave 3 warnings, oh well. But I heard she loved it when they took the boxes of books to each place and the coordinators thanked them in person.

If he has too much then it's time to downsize mamma ... no matter what the choice is for hs bday. BTW it is becoming more common, however I think it is better to simply ask for gift cards vs. gifts either way people are going to get what they are going to gift.
As for his comprehension of this, I am not sure - have gifts been a big part of parties or a lesser emphasized part? I think that will make or break his understanding. BTW he can also volenteer his time instead of his gifts to a local shelter, they have programs where small kids get to feed/water the dogs and do some other helpful things.
Side Note:
My son has limits on toys ... he has one medium rubbermaid storage bin, one large one (with smaller ones inside both to keep things further organized) and one cutzie storage unit, that's IT! If what he has no longer fits then stuff's gotta go!
http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=toy+story+themed...#
plus the two rubbermaid bins.

My son went to a party where they asked for used books from home that the kids didn't read any more and donated them to a kids literacy program. My son got to help wrap something, and bring it. He was happy.

I think it is a great idea. My opinion would be to suggest/ask for something tangible (rather than money/donations) - such as books for a reading program, toys for a shelter, food or baby items (formula or diapers) for a food shelf or family resource center, or pet items for a pet shelter.

Good luck.
D.

We did this for my daughter's 1st birthday and it was a Hit : ). I think it's a great idea!!!

You could ask for toy donations and take them to your local charity. That might be easier for your child to understand.

J.

I don't think its ever to early to start fostering this kind of behavior. I might suggest an alternate cause though. Maybe suggest to the guests that they get books which can be donated to your child's classroom library. That way he can enjoy them and then gift them to the teacher. Teacher's never have enough books in the classroom. and even if they have enough they can always update. Just a suggestion as it might at his age be kind of a big let down to get nothing but money to be passed on to someone else. and you will get a very negative reaction. good luck

5 may be a little young, unless he's the one asking to do it. If he needs to be talked into it, personally I wouldn't do it yet. I liked the idea below of going through his old toys and choosing things to donate in preparation for getting new toys on his birthday. You're still teaching him about giving, and he gets to enjoy new toys too.

My daughter did go to a party this year where the kids all brought donations for the food pantry, but it was a 10 year old party and it was the birthday girl's idea. That worked really well, but the kids were a lot older and better able to understand what they were doing.

I work at a food shelf and we have had many kids bring in donations they get instead of getting presents. The kids are so happy to be able to help others! I love it when they come in! Its a great idea. I had never thought of that myself until I started working there!

My daughter's been invited to parties like this and she thinks it's great. She was 7 and 8 at the time. We haven't done it for her, since we keep her guest list to 3 or 4 kids. But, she enjoyed donating a toy for a children's hospital once, and making a donationn to an animal at the local zoo another time.

Use your judgement about whether your son at 5 is old enough to understand and agree with the concept. Maybe visit the humane society ahead of time to find out what kinds of things they need, and help your son realize their need.

This sounds like an awesome idea! I would strongly encourage it.

I totallly understand where you are coming from, but I would suggest that guest purchase, movie gift cards or gift cards that your child could collect to get one big gift, like video games for something that they like but is more expensive. It allows the kid to pick what they want and better understand savings and the cost of toys.

They may also be excited about saving the gift card for the next big kid movie, like Sky Kids in 4D!!!

I've done this in the past with both of my girls. I just put a note in the invitations saying gifts were not necessary, however a single can of dog or cat food to donate to our local shelter would be welcomed! For me, one birthday party gift after another seemed to get expensive and I thought with a request for a single can of pet food, I'm keeping the expense down to under a dollar for these other parents.

My girls loved the idea! We had a great time decorating a box for the party, and they were so happy to bring the food down to the shelter and help animals that don't have families, and the shelter was so grateful for the food! I have to warn you though, I did get a couple comments that not doing presents was sort of mean. I just simply explained that my girls get plenty of gifts at the TWO OTHER birthday parties at the sitters house, and with our family. I stressed that I didn't want them growing older thinking that presents and gifts are EVERYTHING, and that if we have the opportunity to help someone, or some animal in this case, then we definitely should.

Most of the parents thought it was a great idea, and we received two invitations after our party that suggested donations instead. I think if more people could set aside their own wants for one day out of the year, the world could be a different place!

we did this foor my 6 yr olds party. He wanted to invite a lot of kids, so we talked to him. He had spent time helping at a food panty at school so he decided to ask for donations of food. This was only for friend party he still got gifts from family
In return he got extra gifts from mommy and daddy , but this way they were things we knew he wanted and would use vs random stuff....

Before the party have your child go through their toys and donate the ones they no longer use. Explain to your child that they need to donate at least "X" amount of toys before their birthday so they can make room for their new gifts.

Then allow the partygooers to give your child gifts. A birthday is supposed to be your child's special day. It is one thing if your child didn't want gifts and decided to request people make donations, it is quite a different thing for you to be the one requesting it.

I think it's a GREAT idea!!! I agree with you... this year for xmas I am going to tell everyone NOT to get my son another toy that he won't play with. He loves to go out to eat and so I am going to tell everyone restaurant gift cards. I would love to do this with my son's next bday and do something where he can learn to give back to others. I have already talked to him and told him that we need to give some of his excessive amount of toys to kids who don't have toys. I like what another mommy said about including a picture of the kiddo giving the donations to the animal shelter in the thank you letter. LOVE this idea!!!!

I think this is a fabulous idea! My friend did this for her (now) 7 year old daughter in February. She collected baby items for a women's shelter. It was awesome and her daughter was so proud of everything she collected! I'm planning to do something similar for my two sons, who will turn 14 and 9 at the end of September. We have 2 adopted dogs and planning to collect items to donate to the shelter that we got them from.

This past fall my daughter did a harvest festival for our local pound. My husband works for our police dept and spoke w/the animal control officer and got together a list of needed items. We sent out an invitation that asked for items such as cat food, dog food, cat liter, old towels, blankets, etc. and on the invitation we wrote up a story about how our daughter was collecting for the animals and wanted donations vs. presents. She collected hundreds of pounds of food for the animals, it was amazing and even got an article in our town paper. My oldest has also had birthdays where she has done donations in lieu of gifts, it really makes you realize that regardless of how crazy things may be sometimes they still have time to think of those less fortunate.