6 Month Old Not Sleeping! Help.

Hi A.,
I have a wonderful on-line book called "Sleep Sense Program". This book really help me teach my daughter to fall asleep on her own. That is something that I never did. I would always stay in her room until she fell asleep, and would bring her into my bed when she woke up in the middle of the night. I realized that my daughter was just yanking my chain when she cried and wanted in my bed. After I changed my habits, so did my daughter. Yes, it was extreamly difficult hearing her scream, but after a week or two, the crying was less and less and then one day, she fell asleep on her own.
Shoot me an email and I will forward the book to you. ____@____.com
Hope to hear from you soon.
M.

I think he's too little to be manipulating you (and I believe in CIO, etc). I second the posters who said to try motrin for teething and, if that doesn't work, just to feed him. He's likely growing. If after two weeks or so of this he's still waking as frequently, or more frequently, then think about sleep training again. But he's probably just on the cusp of some new milestone or teething or growing and needs that middle of the night stuff. At this point, it's probably best for everyone just to give him what he needs and get back to bed! Good luck.

Babies go through so many developmental changes in their first year. He is probably having a big growth spurt and is genuinely hungry. Or as other posters mentioned, he could be teething and truly uncomfortable or in pain. I don't think that you can go wrong by meeting all of your baby's needs in their first year. That's what it's all about.
As many posters have shared already, sleep training a young baby often causes more problems than it fixes. For the record, I do not believe in sleep training a young baby - I believe it does more damage than good. Learning to sleep through the night is a developmental process, and babies (and adults for that matter) cannot be forced into it. You have to feel safe and comfortable to allow yourself to fall asleep, and children/babies need the same thing. When babies feel abandoned or left to cry, they might "give up", but often with a ton of anxiety and stress in their system. Over time, that can cause more sleep difficulties... how well do we sleep when we are stressed or feeling insecure?
I would try meeting his needs immediately, giving him some pain meds in case it is teething, and giving yourself 2 weeks to see if he starts to sleep more comfortably and easily throughout the night.

If you want more information or help, please feel free to contact me.

Take care,
D.
www.inspiredmotherhood.com

Like another Mom, I don't think you've "created" a night-waking child either....every child is different, and there are changes from one month to the next, I swear! You also make the best decisions you can with the info you have at the time, so don't beat yourself up.....

Why not just feed him? four hours seems like a long time to go between nursings. If he is in a growth spurt he could truly be hungry. Maybe coax less and nurse sooner? Sounds counter-intuitive, I know, but it might work. To me it seems less cruel than the "ferberization", just my opinion.

If you coax for an hour and then feed, you have lost that hour plus the time it takes to nurse him (which I commend you for, BTW). If you coax for 10 minutes and then nurse, and he sleeps, then you have only lost 10 min. plus the nursing time. Plus I can't imagine how nerve-frazzling it must be for you and your husband to listen to an hour of fussing. And baby will be calmer and more ready to nurse and settle down if he has only been fussing for 10 min. rather than an hour.

You could also think about starting him on solids if he is showing the signs for being ready for that (but don't quit nursing, he still needs that). If hunger is involved here, maybe having some solids will help him sleep a little better.

I may get all kinds of flak for suggesting this--would you consider sleeping with your baby? I found we (baby and I) both got better sleep when we were together. DH wasn't that thrilled, so it is something you need to discuss....

Good luck and let us know what happens!

K. Z.

I agree with Denise, when trying to do the CIO, your not supposed to pick up your baby just pat. I will say, that just a couple of weeks ago I submitted a post about my 5 month old not sleeping! So, I'm kind of in the same boat. Anyway, the CIO method doesn't work real well with my son, its helped a L. but he still after about 10 days, screams himself to sleep and wakes up during the night. For the past few nights he's been waking up every four hours which is an improvement from the every 1 1/2 hours he was doing. I do feed him when he wakes. I honestly just think my son isn't ready to sleep through the night yet, I don't think he's mature enough. When he is 6 months I will eliminate one night feeding at a time. My daughter was sleep trained in 4 days, but I think my son will talk longer. Also, at six months (I think) babies have a growth spurt so he truly might be hungry. Is he teething? My son is and I definitely think that is part of the problem. Don't let other people put ideas in your head, just do what you think is right.

It's always been my understanding (and I did it with my son) that when you do CIO, you don't pick them up. That's the whole point. You comfort (pat the back, and say nite-nite) but don't pick up! Of course, now he thinks you're coming in when he cries!

Can you offer water in a bottle? Are you sure he's NOT hungry? Can your hubby give him a bottle of bmilk?

Try tylenol or motrin. 6 months is a big teething time for little ones. But he is only 6 months and some babies just wake up like this. At 7 months I stopped the middle of the night feeding and just offered a bottle of water. But fed him at 5 am. At 8 months my son had a runny nose and I gave him benedryl and he slept for 8 hours for the first time ever. I thought something was wrong with him and kept checking on him. It was the first night he didn't wake up every 2 to 3 hours. I only gave it to him once. but I knew he could sleep through the night. I'm not advocating benedryl, but just wanted to share my experience. I thought I had the worst sleeper on earth. I didn't really sleep train until 10 months when I transitioned to formula and he went from my bed to a crib. At 11 months he was sleeping 12 - 13 hours straight in his crib and on formula. It took about a week to train him. Then he would let us know he wanted to go to bed. So maybe just try again in a month or so. Good luck.

I understand the efforts you're making not to feed him at night but it sounds to me like your child may be going through a growth spurt and be legitimately hungry. I'm wondering if for a few nights you tried feeding him if you wouldn't get better results.

Oh boy. I JUST posted about this same issue. I am in the EXACT same situation as you!! I'm DYING, literally :( My son is 19 weeks, and this has been going on and ON for over 2 months now!! I only feed him once at night though. Cry it out isnt really working for us either.

I'm doing all the "right" things: putting him down awake (sometimes drowsy), sticking with a routine- same routine since he was 4 weeks old, not associating food with sleep, and so on.

No answers, really, sorry. I'm just sympathizing

I hear that many babies go through a big growth spurt at 6 months. Perhaps you may need to give him more frequent feedings during the day to make up for this.

I'm so sorry. Seems like sleep deteriorates at six months for many. Our daughter's sleep fell apart as well. We Ferberized as well, but the key for us was to NOT go in there. If we did, it made her more upset and it also showed her that if she kept crying, we would eventually come in. We also removed the feedings first then tried the Ferber method. We were firm and it happened quickly. BUT every child is different and I don't know that I could have taken two hours of it. She would cry for twenty to forty minutes... worst 20-40 minutes of parenthood so far, but she is now a good sleeper. One other thing we did, although I think it was a few months later (amazing how soon you forget something that is so central to everything just a few months earlier), was to make sure I did NOT breastfeed her right before falling asleep. I would breastfeed half an hour or so earlier then start the bedtime rituatl and then give her a sippy cup of formula(that's the only time she would drink formula, the rest of the day I breastfed her). This is/was key in that I don't always have to be the one to put her to sleep and it's a little more removed than breastfeeding in that it prepares her for the process of going to bed on her own. A luvie or something helps as well. Good luck. This sucks, there's no way around it. All I can say is, assuming your child is healthy and all is in order, he shouldn't need to eat so it's purely comfort that he needs (I know, that doesn't really help, does it?).

With the cry it out method it sounds like when you went in there occasionally he was being "rewarded" for his crying - I would recommend doing that again, and this time if/when you go into his room - do not pick him up - comfort him and let him know it's ok - persistence is the key - he'll get it after a little while - every night make the period between going in his room a little longer - eventually it'll be hours and then nearly the whole night

http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-cry-it-ou...

My 6 month old did the same thing and he was just teething. I gave him Hyland's teething tablets and he was able to sleep through the night. I also breast feed, but my son still sleeps in the bed with us. However, instead of nursing him to sleep in the bed like I used to do we created a bedtime routine whereby the lights are out at 11:00 pm and we turn on soothing music. My husband will either walk him to sleep or I will put him in his swing and he will fall asleep (I can't walk him to sleep because he will try to eat). After he is asleep we put him in our bed (I know, I know, but I don't mind him sleeping with us). This is our first child and I am new at this, but I think you may be putting him to sleep too early. Try putting him to bed later, closer to when you and your husband go to sleep. Our son may have two 30 min naps between when he wakes up in the morning (b/ 9 and 10) and when he goes to sleep (around 11:00 pm).

First..it'll get better, don't lose hope. Second, if he is "hungry" each time...then I would suggest a larger feeding just before laying him down "for the night". I put rice cereal in my boys' bottles at their last feeding (they were both big boys at birth & were hungrier than a lot of babies). I used a criss-cut nipple & made it semi thick. The other option with this is to feed it with a spoon - either way, make him full. If he is only suckling for comfort in the middle of the night & quickly going back to sleep, he needs a pacifier. I was very resistent to using one, but one of my boys "needed" to suckle for comfort most of the night. It was easy to break him of it by 1 yr, but he needed it from about 3-9 mo for sure. Good luck & know that you, your hubby, & your son will get there =)

Honestly, I don't think you've created this situation. And, when our kids were that age, we did feed them because it was what they needed. Our son was nursed (the frequency became less and less until he weaned himself at just past 12 months), and our daughter did the same thing with formula. As they got older, they were able to put more contents into their stomachs before bed and sleep better & longer.

I've never been a fan of letting them cry it out - when both kids were that age, both Dad and I were working in sales and driving between 100-200 miles/day. Not getting decent sleep wasn't an option.

At 3.5 years and almost 2 years old, we have one rock star sleeper (the younger one) and a bad sleeper (the older one).

I'd almost venture to guess there's something else going on - teething, growth spurt, ear infection. If it continues a few more days, it may be worth a call to the pediatrician to see if there's an underlying issue for which there are no outward symptoms.

Just feed your baby when he's hungry, day or night--could try a paci first, if you wish. The night waking will pass. You could also try moving the crib into your room, or co-sleeping...you did say you were ready to try anything. :)

we read "healthy sleep habits, happy child". the first night we tried the ferber method, but every time we went in to comfort our daughter, she cried worse and worse and was up all night long.

the second night, we let her cry for 30 minutes, checked on her once and she cried an additional 15, fell asleep and slept 12 hours straight for the first time in her life. she was 6 1/2 months old.

from what i've observed, there are different temperaments in children and they respond better to different types of sleep training. some children need the reassurance that you are there for them and they can fall asleep if you are in the room. this is not the case for my daughter, and i assume for your son as well.

if we are in the room, it stimulates her, and makes things worse. we just learned that we had to put her down and let her work things out herself. of course we were there and did go in after 30 minutes, but after that, we just let her be. it took about a week of her crying for about 45 minutes each night before she worked it out and has now slept through the night wonderfully ever since. she is now 19 months old.

we waited and did the naps after she was set in her night sleeping. she is the happiest and smartest child i know. it did not effect her negatively - on the contrary, it gave her the sleep she needed and created two happy and sane parents.

good luck!