My husband and I are floored but our 6 almost 7 year daughter has been soiling her underware at home. It's not stomach related, atleast we don't think so, our daughter states that she didn't want to miss out on the fun time her and her sister where having.
The last few times we have caught it and have made her pay us out of her own money and even had her wash her own underware..
We dont know what to do.
She is our oldest with a sister who is almost 5 and one sister almost 1..
Any suggestions would be welcomed..
Maybe since she has younger siblings, she wants to be babied a little bit? I would schedule some special one-on-one time with her. Sometimes sibling rivalry shows up in weird ways, and she probably doesn't even realize why she's doing what she's doing. Good luck!
I think that this is actually more common than people realize. Not only do kids get easily distracted at this age and wait a little too long, the sphincter muscles work differently in kids of different ages. If it only happens at home, it probably isn't a medical issue, but I would still have it checked out. At home things you can try is Miralax (it is possible that she is constipated - sounds crazy, but it's true) for a few days (it is over the counter now). If it seems like she may have a mild bug, you can put her on the BRAT diet for 48 hrs to see if that doesn't clear it up. Finally, I would ask her not to flush the toilet after she poops for a few days - check and make sure that she is wiping appropriately and also how her stools look in general so if you do take her in you can answer questions about that (the dr will ask). You could also consider putting her on a bathroom schedule for now.
As far as making her pay - I wouldn't. You would feel terrible if it ended up being something that wasn't her fault. As far as making her clean it up - as long as you aren't doing that as a punishment, it is fine - certainly people who make messes, even if it is an accident, can clean it up :)
Good luck and remember - this too shall pass :)
Hi K., I think making her wash her own underwear is the right thing to do. I don't know about the money thing, but who knows. I think if it continues you need to start disciplining her, she said herself she didn't want to miss out on the fun, so it's not medical. J.
"Ground" her from playing with her sisters if she does it again. Or tell her you'll have to stop her from playing every 30 mins if she can't stop on her own to go.
Please don't punish her by making her pay you money when she has an accident. I don't know what's going on, but using money as a punishment for a potty accident is the wrong way to go about it. I agree with the other moms that a trip to the pediatrician is definitely in order to determine if there is a medical issue that needs to be addressed. Best of luck.
Please speak with your peditrician, based on your message it seems as if it's happened on several occasions already. I seriously hope you're not considering "Heather's response" as I have to totally disagree with her. As the other mom's have replied it could be a medical condition. My 6yr old son has had similar problems, his peditirican suggested after a bowel movement to have him sit on the toilet until he urinates to get all the "poop" out of his system. Just the other day, after he had a bowel movement and urinated, few minutes later he had some "poop" on his panties. He was so distraught and was crying that he didn't feel any physical urge and why was it happening. I did speak with his doctor again as I do find some "poop" in his panties on occasion and she's suggested I just monitor him for now and if it continues she would do some more testing. I would never have my son wash his own panties for health / sanitary reasons nor would I expect him to "buy" himself new panties because he's having problems controling his own body. My husband used to wet the bed until he was 8 and was so afraid he would be punished he would sneak out of the house before anyone woke up or would try to stay up all night to prevent it from happening terried he would be in trouble if he had an accident. Believe me, I can't imagine any child at that age purposely wetting or soiling themselves on purpose. Just as elderly people lose control over their bowel movements; young children can also lose control....
Take her to the doctor today! She might have a bladder infection.
What kind of soiling do you mean? Pee? Poop?
If poop, it can be "encopresis." This is an INvoluntary medical problem where feces leaks out.... and it can't be controlled by the child.
Look up "Encopresis" online.
Make sure, she is not having any medical issues/problems. Take her to the Doctor.... that is the first thing I would do.
All the best,
Susan
Do not discipline her it happens to many kids at that age. She will not do it forever! She will not want to have it happen again at some point soon if you simply say to use the bathroom and her own embarrassment is enough. We are to discipline not punish.
I would tell her that either she has to stop playing with her sisters and go on her own, or if she keeps having accidents she either won't be able to play with them or will have to be taken to the bathroom at a set interval to try and go so she doesn't have an accident. If this doesn't work and she is still having accidents, maybe you should take her to her pediatrician to make sure there isn't something underlying. Is she only doing this at home or when she is away from home as well? I think that makes a difference as to whether or not it is stomach related or her just not "paying attention".
I wouldn't be 100% sure that it's not stomach related, she just may not have the full understanding to describe it to you. I'm going through retraining with my son who has suffered from encopresis (constipation and soiling) and it's not always as clear and simple as we'd like. All that aside, I'd suggest putting her on a strict schedule to sort of force her to pay attention and deal with going before she has to. So sit her on the toilet after every meal and snack. 5 minutes, she doesn't have to go, but she probably will do something. Catch her in between activities and remind her to use the bathroom, especially before something more long and involved. I think it's rather normal at this age to get caught up in play and activities and "forget" to go. Sure, you could ground her or punish her for the accidents, but personally I think that shame has no place in our body issues. It's a mistake and a problem, but no doubt she already feels weird and gross about it. Better to get ahead of the problem and help her get back in control.
Please do not shame your child. If it is urine, she might have a low grade bladder infection that makes holding her urine difficult. Please ask your doctor about this issue.
