6Yr Old W/ Anxiety and Possible ADHD

I want to start by saying that when I was young my sister had a 9 yr old diagnosed with ADHD and then put on Ritalin ..It altered his mood,changed him.And frankly I was against medicating all together.
I was a non parent at the time.Years pass and I to had a son who was so out of control..I felt so much anxiety,crying and angry..Having done everything in my power Doctors,diet,ect. I had no choice but to try medication ...I wouldn't use Ritalin ..But with research I chose Concerta.Long story short it was the best thing not just for me,but for him...It never made him sleepy but almost normal..He was a great kid after that..He focused better in school,grades came up,was kind,I had my son back...I felt so guilty for having judged my sister and her choices!
He is now 12 and off Med's all together..He out grew his ADHD...I hope this info helps you..Message me if you need to..Good luck

Why are youl against medicines if they help her? My 6 year old is diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety and yes he takes a few meds daily, but what a difference! He also is also on a healthy diet. He sees a behavior therapist 2x a month along with his psychatrist. If your child had cancer or diabetes would you give them meds to help with that?

The diet can't hurt, but you would do that too if they were diabetic and if they needed insulin, would you deny it? Something to consider.

if the doctor suggests the medication, why not try it, you are the parent and in control, if you try it and then feel its something that you don't want to do then you still have that choice. You don't necessarily need our opinions on this mom, just go with your mommy gut it will tell you what to do.
You already knew to get her help.

<sigh>
My daughter also has general anxiety disorder and ADHD, and as of now (she's 13) we are not medicating. So far (knock on wood) therapy and behavior modification has been enough.
But why do you automatically say "I won't medicate my kid" ???
Seriously, these are mental disorders, why should they be treated any differently than physical ailments?
I believe in medication as a last resort, whether it's for a fever or a headache or an inability to focus. But honestly, if that's what your child really needs, why would you deny it?
Obviously your child hasn't actually been diagnosed with ANYTHING yet, that will take time, therapy and rigorous testing. I'm just suggesting that you keep an open mind. I can't stand to see kids suffer because of parental prejudices and beliefs. Please start educating yourself NOW so when and if the time comes to consider medication you make an informed decision.

As a person who has suffered with anxiety issues I am extremely sympathetic to what your daughter is feeling. I think talk therapy is great but I feel that exposure therapy is the best therapy when dealing with anxiety. I did take medication for a short period which HELPED tremendously. I would not be opposed to medication if it is the anxiety is that bad. Medication will help her so she can relax and accept all the help she is receiving through therapy. It doesn't mean she has to be on it forever, just long enough to help her during this tough time. Talk therapy is great, but exposure therapy when dealing with anxiety, in my opinion is best. Once you get to the root of what is causing her anxiety, or upsetting her, then you need to help her to overcome her fears. That usually means tackling these hurdles with her, assuring her that she is okay, how to take deep breaths, and help her to see that what she is afraid of is not going to hurt her. The more exposure we have to our fears, and survive them, the less fearful we become. If she is afraid of change, or getting out of her routine, then suddenly pop up a visit to the park, if she seems nervous, talk her through it in a very calm voice, and once she is there and sees she is okay it will become easier. It is a lot of work but in my opinion so much more effective then talk therapy alone. I went through a period of this in my late teens, and then again in my thirties, anxiety can be crippling, and so many physical symptoms can present themselves. What worked for me was fighting my fears, and in my teens I did that with my mom (who also suffered from panic attacks) and in my thirties my husband (who probably thought i was out of my mind lol!! but supported me) If people have never had anxiety sometimes they just do not get it. They think you should just get over it, but it is real, and very scary, and can make you feel so desperate. The best thing you can do for her is to talk to her, and reassure her that you are going to do everything you can to help her to help herself get better. Empower her, with your encouragement and words, once she learns to rely on herself, she will feel stronger. Basically the therapist will give her coping tools, you will need to make sure she practices them and learns to calm herself. If you need to talk you can always PM me. Good luck!!

If your child has ADHD, diet isn't going to "fix" her. Same goes with anxiety.

Please keep an open mind about medication. Talk to the specialists and address your concerns with them. Medication has made a tremendous difference for our son and we certainly weren't eager to try it at the beginning. Now, I'm a real advocate for at least giving it a try. There's a lot of misinformation out there about medication, so don't let preconceived notions guide your decision here.

You might also look into neurofeedback. It's expensive, but we're supplementing medication with neurofeedback for our son and it's helping him, especially with anxiety.

First, though, you need to get an official diagnosis. Ask the psychologist for a referral to a psychiatrist or other specialist who can make a formal diagnosis and talk about treatment options. The psychologist will give you tips on managing behavior issues, but can't diagnose.

Best of luck as you start this journey ...

If you went to a psychologist, they don't/can't medicate. If you went to a psychiatrist, they can but if you're opposed they won't. However, when it comes to ADHD, especially if it's severe and affects all areas of her life (ie. school, home, away from home, relationships, interactions, simple tasks, difficult tasks, etc) then you might not be doing her any favors by refusing to even consider medications.

I had the very same mindset as you, and I held out for the longest time with my autistic daughter with her ADD. It was a mistake. She should have been on the seizure med and ADD med much sooner than I allowed it because I was so insistent that MY child wouldn't be on medication. Then I was just as resistant with my middle daughter's ADHD.

So yes, I have a daughter that has ADHD and part of ADHD is anxiety. They go hand in hand. You don't "not raise your voice." You don't walk on eggshells. You may have to be more strict in your parenting and make your guidelines and rules more clear and explicit to the point of posting them on your fridge and include consequences for breaking the rules.

Keep a chore chart on the fridge of responsibilities that she's responsible for.

When you need her to do something, break it down into steps she can follow.

Use positive reinforcement. Teach her organizational skills, but don't be surprised if you have to teach, teach, teach, and re-teach. For years.

But what's made her receptive to therapies and I'll tell you has also improved our relationship beyond what I ever thought possible is putting her on a low dose of ADHD medication. She's still active, awake, brilliant, bright, pulling honor roll in school, smiling, has her anxiety under control, and it's all around been such a positive experience for her that she THANKED me.

We also have reduced/eliminated high fructose corn syrup, artificial food dyes, most processed foods, and some other trigger foods with good results in helping reduce symptoms.

We have an IEP set up in school for my autistic child and a 504 set up with a behavior plan for my child with ADHD (in school).

Follow the diet and also eliminate refined sugar and flour as well as soda, artificial colors / flavors and preservatives. All of these things have been linked to adverse behavioral effects in children.

I don't know how you discipline, but yes, you should be sensitive to her anxieties and attempt to "head them off" whenever possible. As for any defiance or blatant disrespect, hold the line on that, absolutely. She will need to learn how to work within boundaries and respect authority in order to be successful in every situation she'll be in (school, jobs, etc). You will do her - and yourself - a disservice by making excuses for her and allowing her free reign because you feel bad for her. Seek out some other opinions, change the diet so you can avoid meds and their nasty side effects, and make sure she is getting enough rest and exercise.

Please don't underestimate the effects of a healthy diet and exercise on a child! It can make an enormous difference.

Good luck!

Get a second and third opinion. It will help you gain a broader perspective on your daughter's situation and how best to handle it.

If she is comforted by sleeping with you, I would let her, unless you want to sleep without her. My daughter was afraid of the dark and I slept on a camping pad and sleeping bag in her room for a few weeks, then just read there until she fell asleep, then I read in the hallway, and later in my bedroom. I would only gradually change things for her. And discipline is needed but does not need to be harsh. My daughter is very sensitive and she WANTS to do the right thing, so I never really have to raise my voice, just being forceful in a no-nonsense way without anger seems to work best for my child. Not that I never lost my temper with the dilly dallying, but staying gentle yet firm was best. And my daughter was often nauseous, come to find out she drinks a ton of milk which can be constipating (which she often is) which in turn leads to nausea. So everything does not have to be an anxiety related symptom. It sounds like you are doing the right thing having her see a counselor. Just remember that you may have to try a few to find one you "click" with. Good luck.

I would recommend nixing the 'high whole grains' altogether. Seriously. I used to be full of anxiety and anger. I had an IGg ELISA blood test done for food sensitivities and stopped eating foods I reacted to, one of which was wheat. Within 3 weeks I felt SOOOO much calmer and happier. It was like I woke up and took a happy pill each day. Six months later I was able to reintroduce wheat again and all the anger and anxiety came flooding back within 3 days. I stopped eating it and calmed down again. Now, I have adopted the Paleo/Primal lifestyle, and feel wonderful. Sometimes I cheat and eat something tempting and I get angry again. I used to yell at my kids everyday, and then would feel so guilty that I couldn't control myself and cry myself to sleep. It was horrible :( That never happens if I stick to my diet (which I do now), and life is happier, calmer, more enjoyable, and FUN!! www.betterhealthusa.com is a wonderful website to help you with food info and the symptoms that food toxicity can cause. If you can't do the blood test, Or even if you can, I would cut out all grains from your diet (your whole family). Start 'medicating' with krill oil supplements, and eliminating grains (even if you don't react to them on the bloodwork). It Starts With Food by Melissa and Doug Hartwig is an EXCELLENT book that explains the science of food reactions in our bodies. Please, please, please read that book!! :) they have a website too: www.whole9life.com

I had my son tested for food intolerances, which is very different than food allergies. He never had any food allergies, but he has about 30 intolerances! We've cut out all the offending foods, and he is now able to focus, calm himself, and is learning more appropriate ways to interact with people.

We live in the Twin Cities area, so we went to Dawn at New Dawn Health. I am not sure where in your area she could be tested for food sensitivities, but I would highly recommend that. Beforehand, we were on a gluten- and dairy-free diet, but that was only part of the equation. (In addition, we also ingested no high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated oils, artificial colors or flavors, cottonseed oil, or othe unnatural oils.)

Hi I will start off by saying that i was also againgt medicating but after research I desided the only thing that I would never let the doctors put my daughter who is 9 years old and has ADHD, ODD and now anxiety disorder on is Ridilyn (I took myself off of it as a kid and as an adult had to be taken off of it because it made my heart race) now my daughter is on Concerta in the am Methylphenidate in the afternoon and lorazapan and benidril at nite she is better now I find it easier to get her to listen now and she is doing better in school to the only think I still fight with her with is to do her homework oh also I bought her sisters flute from her and she has been playing the flute for a year now and that seems to help her also good luck and please keep us updated on your discision and your dughters progress