My 7yo daughter started 2nd grade last month in a new school. She was placed in a 2nd/3rd grade combo class. I know it’s only been a month in, but she hasn’t yet found her niche with her classmates. I’m concerned it may have to do with her working on mostly 3rd grade work (she is advanced). She sometimes tells me she feels like an outsider because she only gets to hang out with her 2nd grade peers on some class activities. During recess & lunch, well, she is the quiet one and the kids she eats with at the lunch benches: they’re her “classmates’ friends” and not her own. And almost every day, she gets nostalgic and starts to cry as she is talking about her old friends at her old school and wishes to see them again. I have already scheduled a playdate with her old friend next week which she is excited about. She has been invited to a birthday party of her old friend but I’m not too sure if that would be a good idea with her seeing ALL of her old classmates and just missing those friendships day in, day out.
What would you do, circle of moms? I’m afraid that if she sees her old friends at these various events, she won’t (she hasn’t yet, anyway) make the effort to make new friends at her new school. Any advice, opinions, feedback, criticisms, personal experiences…I’ll take anything right now. I’m just afraid I made the wrong decision in changing schools – but I know there’s no turning back now. :( I just don’t know when she will officially make the ‘switch’ and finally accept her new school and make that effort. I’ve been telling her that she’s getting the best of both right now…keeping in touch with her old friends and making some new ones…but she is so self-conscious (which I never saw in her until now) that she worries that her introducing herself can get tiring at the new school. I have a feeling it’s going to be a long school year. :(
You have to get the teacher involved. I did this for my son and am so happy-they are completely understanding and look for ways to pair him with kids that he may click with. Your daughter's teacher can do the same for her.
She's 7, so I suspect she will bounce back quickly. Once she realizes that this is her new norm, she will adapt. Kids are resilient like that.
As far as the 2nd/3rd grade combo, I don't think should cause an issue. My daughter has friends who were held back from 4th, or promoted from 2nd, and they all get along just fine. One of her closest friends at school is over a year younger than her, and another of her close friends is over 2 years older than her. At that age, it doesn't make much of a difference.
As a kid who moved around a LOT I can assure you she will be fine, it just takes some time to settle in.
You can help her by:
-talking to her teacher. Teachers LOVE "matchmaking" and they are very good at partnering kids who will get along well together and give each other strength
-sign her up for soccer or Girl Scouts or any other activities where she gets a chance to socialize outside of school
-invite classmates over for play dates
-let her go to before/after school care (my kids didn't need to go because I was a SAHM but they begged me so I signed them up a few days a week)
Hang in there, she's going to be fine, I promise!
hello - first off let here continue to see her old friends as often as she wants and you can arrange it. She can never have too many friends.
Second for the new school - 2nd grade moms can still get involved in arranging play dates....ask her to pick several kids that she would like to be friends with..then set up play dates with these kids moms. This will give her an opportunity to play with the kids after school and see which ones she clicks with. Maybe arrange to have them come over or have her go to their house...or meet on neutral grounds.
Also consider getting involved yourself in her new school...you also need to get involved and meet the moms and develop a relationship with them.
Good luck.
Why did you change schools? Just curious - was it because of moving and school boundaries or purely by choice? I do think she will bounce back, but it seems clear she needs additional time to adjust.
