7 Year Old Poops in His Pants Everyday

He may have a developmental delay and/or physical issue that needs immediate assessment.

I wouldn't make the issue about him being "lazy" - or a reflection on you as a a parent. Just get him the help he needs (which starts with a comprehensive assessment of the situation) as soon as possible.

I believe that term that is being talked about is encopresis. My oldest child dealt with it for a very long time. Like another poster he was so stretched out that he could not feel that he needed to go. We did the mineral oil, the miralax, the fiber, and a few other things too. At one point he was so backed up he was almost septic and had to be "cleaned out" at the hospital. It is something that he had to become more aware of and had to care for anything to work.
I hope that you are able to get to the root of the issue and work it out.

I agree with the majority of the Moms on this one, take him to the doctor. Pediatric doctors are great at helping us figure out our kid's problems, whether they are medical or psychological and can give advice towards a therapist if needed. You mentioned he's been doing this for 3+ years, was he using the potty to poop before and then suddenly stopped? Did anything in his environment change? any family changes? I can't imagine that this doesn't bother him, especially in school, children are sensitive creatures. It seems he has found a way to ignore his own feelings about it, either because it's out of his control, or because he is purposely showing a type of defiance for attention. Either way, I'm sure he's having a hard time w/ this too, something is going on w/ him. Sometimes as adults we forget how hard things can be for our little ones, even pooping! You might be thinking, he knows how because he did it before, but obviously something has changed. It will be good for you too, to have the help of the Dr, it's too hard to figure everything out in life on your own! Good luck, love on your boy, and God Bless :)

Hi, Brandi. I used to have a roommate a very long time ago who had a child with the same problem. She was just as confused and frustrated as you sound today.

I think you need to find out why your son has regressed, gone back in time to baby-like behaviors. Has there been a new baby in the home during the past 3 years? That is the #1 reason why children do this sort of thing. Especially the first-born child feels displaced because he used to be the only child in the house, but now there is this pooping creature, and the eldest child wants the attention that the baby is getting.

If this is the case, then usually the remedy is making sure that the eldest child gets enough positive attention so that he does not try filling up the empty space in his life with negative attention.

Even if there are no new babies in the house, he may be doing this because the negative attention is filling up what he feels is an empty space.

It certainly can't hurt to get him evaluated by the doctor. If he is holding back on his bowel movements and then having an explosive bowel movement when his body can't hold it in any longer, then that needs to be treated because it's so very bad for his body and his psyche.

My old roommate's son also seemed to indicate that he didn't want to stop what he was doing and go to the bathroom, but like your son, he would never pee in his pants, so that's not the whole answer.

You may want to put him on a bathroom schedule and make him sit on the toilet at regular intervals. He will hate this, but if you make it clear, CALMLY AND LOVINGLY, that this is a consequence of his pooping in his pants, then that will help him choose to stop doing the behavior. Bribing him to stop the pants -pooping hasn't worked, so you need to give him an unpleasant consequence, a discipline, for pooping on himself.

Another strategy is to make him wash out his own pants everytime he poops himself. See, right now, he's getting negative attention from everyone for doing it, and no real consequences because the attention is what he wants. On top of that, he gets YOU to clean up after him! Maybe he's giving you a little bit of punishment there, another gift to him. Take away his joy, his reward, for pooping himself, and he should stop doing it. Washing out poop from his own underwear and slacks is very unpleasant, so this is just a natural consequence and not a harsh or unusual punishment.

On top of that -- timing him and making him wash out his own poop -- you will have to go back to praising and rewarding him for starting to poop in the toilet again. Not bribing -- wait til he makes it to the toilet and reward him for doing so. And stop letting him know how hateful this is to you. That adds to the negative attention by showing him how stressful this is for you.

He may be mad at you for something. Try finding out what that is, and make amends before this becomes a deeply set lifelong problem between you.

I certainly hope that the whole family comes together and this problem gets healed.

Peace,
Syl

For a younger child like 4-5, this wouldn't be quite so shocking, but for a 7 year old, I would also be concerned. Take him to the doctor. Something definitely is wrong there. They can point you in the direction of what to try next to get him out of that bad pattern of behavior. Maybe he needs some counseling or behavioral therapy of some sort. Fear of pooping in the potty is quite normal for young children, maybe he just hasn't gotten past that. Maybe he has some kind of sensory issue with not being able to feel the sensations of needing to go versus being the process of just letting it go in his pants.
People only do what gives them some kind of satisfaction or pay off. You have got to find out what his pay off is for going in his pants and change that. Don't try to do it alone, get professional help. I'm sure this has to be wearing on you a lot. Either way a doctor can help. Schools don't really tolerate that kind of thing from anyone that isn't considered a special needs child. Don't let it get to the point where he is the social outcast.
Sorry you are going through this. Hope it gets better!

bring him to the doctor.
even if you don't believe it to be medical, the DOCTOR should rule out the medical and then the DOCTOR should take the time to TALK TO HIM without YOU there.
there actually is a medical condition when the child is actually constipated-ok ok you're going to say "uh, no..." please keep reading: what happens is then there is some blockage, it could be very slight, it does not block all the way so that then there is 'leakage' around the block that he cannot help.
I would say he NEEDS an x-ray or whatever they do (sonogram?) to see if there's any kind of blockage in his intestines. again, you might think no WAY is it medical, but won't you be embarrassed if you find there IS something going on medically?
I would go STRAIGHT to a SPECIALIST (ped GI) and SKIP the pediatrician at this point. it's gone on far too long. he says he does not care, but OF COURSE he does on some level- he just cannot admit it to you at this point!
get to a PED GI and let the PED GI talk to him!

Get the doctor to check him out and verify that there isn't any medical condition (a therapist would tell you to start there anyway), and get a referral for a good therapist with behavioral training and experience with children with encopresis. Threatening, punishing... they stress both of you out, and threats/punishment don't work or only temporarily work anyway. A good therapist can help by decreasing the stress for both of you, helping you understand why this happens, and implementing a behavioral plan to change the behavior.

B. im so sorry you are having this problem with your child.one thing for sure you desperately need to get him to a dr.it sound physolocial to me.this is rare.i would think.he could be trying to get attention and this is a sure way.but it is a sure thing he needs help.good luck and may god bless you and the child.C.

Hi, a friend mine had this trouble with her son and she took every single toy out of his room and he did not get them back until he started going on the toilet. He could not play with them-they wre boxed up and put away. He was allowed to read books and write papers but that was it. Sounds drastic but it worked after about a week. S.

Who is cleaning up his mess? It better be your son...ONLY!
He's way to old to be messing his pants. And old enough to clean it up.
Good luck...

Maybe you should take him to the doctor anyway (even if you don't think it is medical). Perhaps that will get it across to him that there is a problem. Or maybe he needs some sort of therapy or counseling? I am at a loss. I've never known of a 7 yr old doing this.
If you don't want to go those routes, then put him in pull-ups, don't just threaten to do it. DO it.
So out of curiosity, what is your response at home when he does this? Does he have to clean himself up and wash his clothes himself?

Any other moms out there have ideas?

My son did the same thing and it is a medical problem. When at school my son did not want anyone to see him - he is very modest about it - so going in front of others is worse than going in his pants. My oldest son did and does not care but my youngest does care and does not like being seen. I took him to the doctor and he had expanded his bowels to the point he cannot feel when he has to go. Your son may have the same problem.

The doctor recommended him sitting on the toilet for 30min -reading or whatever- at a certain time everyday and giving a tablespoon of mineral oil daily for a while. I suggest you take him to the doctor because he could be backed up too – my son was and when we did x-rays he was backed all the way up and that was not fun either.

Sounds like it's a deep pattern for him - maybe he can be guided with hypnosis to make attending to his bowls a priority and recognize that other things can wait.

Though it seems like he's being lazy, he may not be. Please make an appointment with your Dr. first to rule out any medical issues. Also, they may have experience with this area and can offer you some advice. I am an Elementary School teacher and I had a student one year who did that the year before I had him. His parents finally took him to the Dr. and there were issues, slight ones that were easily corrected, but still medical issues. As much as it happened the year before I had him, it never once happened in my class. However, from the prior years he was picked on by other kids and treated differently because they all remembered. 7 is very young to begin being treated differently. That will follow him all through school and can have lasting effects on him. I empathize with your situation - I imagine it must be VERY frustrating - but please have it checked out just to be sure and then you can try other avenues. For some kids it is a control issue that goes from bad to worse. I wish you the best of luck.

Have you talked to your ped about this. It may be behavioral or medical.

Dear B.,
God bless you! I do not know how you have put up with this behavior for so long! No more threats or bribes. Buy the pull ups and start making him wear them! Make sure HE cleans up his own messes! That'll put a quick stop to it and if it doesn't, tell his doctor! I know a 9 yr. old boy who must sleep in pull ups, but it's a bladder problem. I truly sympathize with you and will pray that this issue gets solved quickly for you! May God truly bless you and your family!
Sincerely,
Kathy N.

i am a big sister to my 14 yr old brother he never did this when he was younger cause it stopped when he was 2 yrs old

Hi B. = Yes GIRL - I am in your shoes. My son who is 6 will do that, not a full bowl movement of course, just enough to make it bad. I have now started making him wipe himself - done doing that espcially with him being 6 - and making him clean his own underware. I supervise the whole time. I did talk to his dr about it - he said, what most people have said too, that boys have more of a tendency to do that. He doesn't want to stop watching something or playing. Drives me NUTTS! I have to force him to sit on the pot and poop. He sometimes resists but I dont' care if he stays there 15 minutes - he evenutally will give in and go (he's very stubborn). And that's after he's washed and changed his underware 3 times already! So I KNOW he has to go. His doctor said to make him go and go regularly - so what we've had to do is give him Miralax DAILY. I also use benefiber. He is just one of those that must be reminded and forced to go poo. You can tell when his bowls are "full" - his stomach pooches out - We joke he's 65 lbs - 50 of it is poo! Dr said don't be scared to dose him - he has to go! Or it might start to hurt because there's so much and then he gets fearful of it. It's hard for me because I work fulltime and I tell his father who doesn't to please give him a dose of the meds after school - that way by night time it may work - he forgets to do that. So I don't want to dose him later in the evening because I'm afraid he'll have to go at school and have trouble. Sigh....
I think with all the hair you and I pull out together over this, we could make a wig!! Good Luck - try keeping him "regular" HA!!
A.

Even though it's not a medical problem, your pediatrician may be able to point you in the right direction for resources that could help you with your problem.

Take him to the Dr. my daughter has cronic impaction and she constantly leaks, looks like she is pooping herself but in reality it is the loose stuff seeping around the large bm locked inside. for the mom with the mineral oil ty for the aproximate dosage. my childs dr had her on lactulate which does not work for her so im starting her on mineral oil again in hopes of getting her straight. have him checked. it may be something he just can't control. he may have gotten constipated and started witholding in fear of more pain it is very common in children.

B.,
I am sure this gets frustrating for you, but you have got to still be loving and kind. I think you are on the right track. This is medical, take him to the doctor ASAP. My younger sisters baby girl was born afraid to poop, i think she just didn't know what was going on, this lead to enemas to get her to evacuate her bowels, but by 1 year old she stopped.
I had a family member who did this into his teenaged years, 14 I believed. It seems that he was so occupied with playing football etc, the would not go to the bathroom. He really got a rep, and he stopped.
Talk with your son also, explain that this is a natural body function that requires toileting facilities, comfort him about any fears he may have. Get him checked, it may be a form of HIRSCHSPRUNG'S DISEASE, ask your doctor.

Dear B.,
have you ruled out the possibility that that can be pathological? did you speak about this to the pediatrician? He can have a weak anal sphincter and not able to control it.Good luck

Have you talked to a therapist? It could be something else.
A 7 yr old should be beyond the (not wanting to stop to use the bathroom becouse he might miss something.)
Good luck.