7 Year Old Still Having Accidents

T.,
I feel your frustration and pain. My now 6 year old does the same thing! I did have her tested for a UTI a a couple of times and had her on some cranberry pills and probiotics when she was four. But that is as far as I went, mainly be caused I noticed when were out and about (like the store) she didn't have the same problem. It was only when she was distracted by something fun or at home. I think it is a conditioned thing. It seams to me that when she is home she puts it off or just doesn't listen to her body's subtle hints, until ... its too late! and then it is a mad dash to the bathroom and either she barely makes it or barely doesn't! Ahhh it is so frustrating!
When she was little she never did "the potty dance". It was so hard for me to realize that she was holding it and procrastinating. Now I can barely see that she squirms just a little, actually it is more like just shifting positions. But at least it is something that gives me a clue.:)
I finally came upon a plan for her because I was done, done feeling resentment toward her and done cleaning up the mess.
I realized that a part of why she did this was it was habit to ignore it. The other reason was she had a hard time feeling the signals until her urine was starting to come out.
I also noticed that along with this habit as with any, there were triggers. Some of these were brushing teeth (or anything with water), getting dressed and undressed, eating, waking up etc.
So first I did what I always do when one of my kids has a problem that is affecting others. I problem solved with her.(if you have read my other posts this might be a repeat)
Write at the top of the paper, the problem. Discuss why it is a problem for you and ask her if it is a problem for her. Tell her you need her help in finding a solution. Divide the paper into two columns. On one side put her name, on the other, yours. (make sure she can see what you are writing and tell her what it says) Then ask her for some ideas, these you write on her side and then tell your your ideas and write them on your side. After you have your two lists you go over them and pick one together that you both agree on. If there is one that you don't like, tell her why you don't think it will work. And if there is one she doesn't like ask her why. Pick a first, a second and a third choice (or a couple at a time). Tell her you are going to try each one until one works. This "talk" will help in getting her cooperation and boasting her confidence.

Some of the things that we did were..
-Hints(her idea), we had a deal that if I said, "potty time" she would go. If I said "listen to your Body", she would stop and think about if she need to, if she did then she would go, if not she would say, "I'm okay".

-Use the triggers to help her. (combined ideas) Before each of the trigger activities she would go to the bathroom first. "So instructions were..."Go potty, then get P.J.'s on", Go potty then get dressed". So any of the times she was most likely to want to ignore her body, I would remind her.

-I put more responsibility with her (my idea). I like consequences, not punishments, but natural things that will come. If she has an accident, she cleans it up. She cleans up herself, her clothes and the floor. (we use wet wipes for her and Clorox wipes for the floor. And she has to put her clothes in the washing machine, not wash them just put them in there. Once I stopped helping her, I realized that it didn't bother me so much if she had an accident, and I didn't feel so angry either.
-Talked about rewards, so there is something she could work towards. We did getting ears pierced,(her idea) if she could go 21 days (my idea)with out an accident she could get her ears pierced. The reason I do 21 days is that is how long it takes to make something a habit. I just made note of it on my calender, to keep track.
It has been about a year since we did this process. It has work rather well. It took about three months and she finally was able to do make it 21 days. She is not 100% accident free, but she maybe has one accident every couple months. Sometimes I will go to do laundry and noticed that she had an accident that I didn't know about that day.:) She just takes care of it now, which is so nice for me, and our relationship. It has helped her confidence too.
I know how long this reply is and I am sorry for the length. I hope that by sharing my experience you will get some new ideas that might work. At least get hope that she can do this and you can get through this!
I wish you all the luck (and patience) you need,
E.

Sometimes the anxiety of making it to the bathroom can make it harder. Kind of a 'mental block'. Since it happens right after putting on PJs, it seems kinda likely.

Try getting the GoodNights absorbent undies. Let her know its just to help her keep her bed and PJs dry so that she doesn't have to change them. Make the whole thing no big deal. It probably started with the UTI, but all the continued tests etc could have caused anxiety (which the councelor may not have picked up on, if they were talking about normal life; or your daughter may not have admitted to anything about wetting anxiety, from embarassment)

So have her wear the night time undies and make no big deal of it, whether she's wet or dry in the morning. She's old enough to know what is "good" and any attention may just contribute to the problem. I would also hold off on any more medical tests, since you've found nothing, at least unless there is a concern other than just bedwetting. Give her a few months or more. My brother wet the bed until he was 12; it probably started as some sort of issue, but then all the "preventions" just seemed to make it worse.

T.,
This sounds very frustrating. I have used this response before, so forgive me if I posted it to you.
When I was a kid, I also had enuresis. My mom, like you, tried everything. The docs finally discovered I had some tissue hanging in front of the nerve that told me I had to go to the bathroom. I am sure this is a simplified explanation of what was happening, but it is how I always understood it. Most of my problems were at night while sleeping, but I did have some accidents during the day too.

My question is - at school is there a routine when all the kids go to the bathroom, or do they raise their hands to go? In other words, is her body regulated to go at 10:00 and 12:30 and 2:00, or does she recognize the need to go sometimes and not others? Maybe you can set up the same schedule at home.

I know my SIL wakes my niece up before she (SIL) goes to bed to go potty one last time. My niece is a VERY heavy sleeper and doesn't wake up for anything at night, and often wets the bed. They tried one of the devices you hook to your nightgown and when you start to wet it wakes you up, but they all hated it and gave it up pretty quickly.

Good luck! Hope this helps.

Hi T.,
My daughter is 6 and was still having accidents too. The thing that REALLY helped was taking her to a Chiropracter for a few adjustments. We have a family friend out of state who happened to adjust her while we were in town. That helped almost instantly! And when the accidents come back, we take her back in for a few adjustments. The only difficult thing about it is that some insurance doesn' cover it. The adjustments run about $40 each. Most Chiro's will let you make payments too though. Just have to call and ask.
Let me know if you try it and it helps. Have a beautiful day! J.

Hi T.,

I was reading your post and it crossed my mind that your daughter might have Interstitial Cystitis. I know she is kind of young for it, but here is what I discovered. I apologizes if I am going to give you too much of information and it would not be your case. I am just trying to help, because I know sometimes doctors are running out of options:

1) Interstitial Cystitis does not show any difference on X-Rays from normal bladder except tiny little thing - walls are a little bit thicker than usual;

2) Nobody knows exactly what causes this problem, but here is what I found out: bladder will react on different kind of food differently - some sort of local invisible allergy.

3) I am 34 now, and I never had anything like this before coming to US (10 years ago) and this is when everything started for me - I was seeing so many doctors and nobody could determine anything. I found solution for my problem by myself - my friend at work had the same problem. SO first theory was that woman has to go through giving birth before having it - not true, I did not have kids back then.

4) This is how I can control this issue - surprisingly more water, a lot of water - it washes out the bladder and dilutes irritable particles in the bladder. I understand your concern about wetting, but still more water. When I forget to drink plenty of water even I can wet myself - the way how it works - it is a spasm and nothing you can do about it - urine comes out. This will explain why your daughter cannot do anything about it.

5) "Watch what you eat" rule: as less as possible processed food (my theory is that those tons of different kind of artificial ingredients are so bad for our body that body does not know what to do with them). No sprite, coca-cola, etc.

6) Some acidic food - pineapple for instance, even oranges sometimes, spinach, tomato paste, all pasta and pizza sauces, spices, herbal spices, pickles, pickling any kind; greasy food sometimes creates disturbance in the balance in our body. Some hard processed bread - like whole grains break for example. Chocolate, coffee, black tea, some herbal tea.

7) Your daughter should try to help you to help her. You guys need to start diary - what she eats and when she has a reaction - usually it could be 1-2 days delays with bad reaction for certain food, but with diary you will be able to determine what is causing her bladder to get irritated and inflamed.

8) Also you can try asking her what exactly she feels when she is peeing and especially when she cannot hold it. She might say some heaviness in her lower tummy area. Maybe even some sort of uncomfortable tingling feeling right before or during urination.

9) Unfortunately, going to the doctor to confirm this diagnosis could be pretty tough ride for your little one, and if this is the correct diagnosis - there is no real medication. Although this issue can be controlled sometimes very successfully by food management.

You also may try to give her watermelon - it helps to flash bladder out. Also what I am taking, but you should discuss with your doctor before giving it to your little one: triple strength cranberry fruit pills and Uva-Ursi (it could be in tea form or capsules, but not in liquid form). Uva-Ursi is a very strong herb, so I am not sure if it is OK to give to 7 year old one, but tea form might be diluted.

I pray that your daughter will get better with her issue and that solution is not as complicated as I described.

K.

My little sister went through this bless her heart. I think that her bladder was just too small. We were all worried about it especially as she got to be 12 and 13 but when she turned 14 she finally grew out of it. She also had yeast infections through out this time the poor thing. My parents did a lot to try to help her but in the end she just had to grow out of it. The thing I would be sure to focus on is giving her constant reasurance. And try to have her siblings not complain about the smell in the morning-(like I did to my sister) she can't control it, it's not her fault and she will remember this trial the rest of her life and the way people treated her for it. Good luck hopefully she grows out of it sooner than my sister did. They do have night diapers for kids her size, that would help with the wash. My heart goes out to her, poor girl. God bless.

Good job being persistent to figure it out. I don't have a solution, just a couple thoughts. If it is potentially a medical issue, remember not to criticize or make her feel bad. It is what it is, she is old enough to clean the floor and go put the towel and clothes in the washer, etc., and there should be no guilt. My other thought is my daughter had reoccuring UTIs as a little person, and the only solution was prophylactic antibiotics. She took a low dose of one type for a month, then a different type for a month, then back to the other for a month, and so on. Now she's fine. Hang in there!

This kind of goes along with what Katya posted, but I've read about people who have a pee reaction after eating certain foods. Not a medically testable allergy but an intolerance of some kind.

I would 2nd the suggestion to keep a food diary, and see if it connects with any particular food. It could be ANY food or beverage or any single ingredient in either one, like an additive or a preservative.

How wonderful that you're working so hard to help your daughter solve this issue. I hope you can figure out a solution soon! :)

Have they checked her for interstitial cystitis (basically chronic UTIs is how it was explained to me)?
The only thing I can think of is to get her a timer, decorate it w/cute stickers & have her take it everywhere at home. Set it for an hour each time, 30 mins after mealtimes, & she sits on the potty every time it goes off, regardless of what else is going on. I'd do it every 2 hours during the night (we just found out my 13 YO SS is getting up twice a night to pee-sets his alarm so he doesn't have accidents, but his has been an ongoing problem). Makes it hard to do shopping trips, but maybe her bladder-brain connection isn't working right & you need to retrain it.
I don't see why sleep apnea couldn't cause daytime accidents. It wreaks havoc w/the rest of a sufferer's life.. lack of focus, tiredness, clumsiness, etc...
Have the doc order a sleep study for apnea & see what they say.
Good luck to you!