My daughter will be eight months old on Tuesday and she still wakes up between 1 and 3 times each night. My husband works nights and is working about half the nights out of a week. If he is awake at night he will help out, but most of the time I have to wake up, get her up, bring her in bed with me to nurse her, then put her back in bed when she's done. She will almost always fall right back asleep, but it's really starting to get to me not being able to sleep through the night. She eats 3.5 oz of solids around 6-7pm then again around 10pm, takes a bath, and goes down after nursing usually no later than midnight. She nurses on demand throughout the day as well. Any ideas???
To clarify, we have tried putting her down sooner, and it just hasn't seemed to work. She just wakes up more often. I will try to get her to bed a little sooner, around 10pm maybe. But even though she goes to bed at midnight doesn't mean I get her up at 6 or 7am. She sleeps until anywhere between 10:30am and 1pm so she can get the right amount of sleep. I haven't forced her to this schedule, it's what she did naturally.
I think it's really normal for her to be waking up at least one time during the night at this age. It might be easier on you if, when she wakes up, to just leave her in bed with you. She might not sleep longer, but at least *you* will get more sleep. Our babies have all been on their Dad's "late" sleeping schedule until they get older, and we have not had any problems. Who wants to wake up at 6am with a baby? Not me!
Could it be that she is just thirsty and not really hungry? Does she take a sippy cup? If yes, I would try offering a small amount of water during the night.
M.
One thing you did not mention is what time she gets up in the morning or how often she naps during the day. My kids all had a similar sleep pattern because of the shifts that we worked and it really didn't affect their overall sleep as long as they were getting enough sleep. With my kids, they would go to sleep at midnight and be up at least once at night at 8 months but they wouldn't get up for the day until 9 or so and then have breakfast and down for another nap by 10:30. It never worked out for us to have the kids in bed early when we were working later hours so they adapted to our hours.
As they got older the bedtime changed all on its own with preschool and different schedules. It was a very natural thing though, if our schedules changed our sleep patterns changed. If your husband is going to be working nights I don't see any point in changing her sleep pattern now if it has worked for you up until now. I do think that there are several suggestions in here for books on forming good sleep habits and it might be a good idea to invest in one.
Myself, I think it is still pretty normal for her to be waking up at night, maybe not 3 times, but she could be getting teeth. Just remember that this doesn't last forever, she will sleep the whole night in her own bed eventually, and you will know what it is like to wake up and have it be daylight and not remember anything since you went to sleep the night before.
Only change her bedtime if you think it will benefit her and your family, but if you think she is getting enough sleep, the time she goes to bed may not make any difference at all as long as she sleeps long enough and often enough.
Sleep well...
I would put her down for the night at 6-7pm, after her dinner and bath. 10pm is too late. Sounds like she is overtired. If she is a healthy weight, she does not need to eat after dinner (unless you are trying to keep up your milk supply, then you can pbly wake her again around 9 or 10, but no midnight feeding for sure). Just b/c you all are night owls does not mean that she is. Oh, and I just saw the post on cosleeping, and my brother-in-law, who is a Dr, just a week ago pronounced an 8-mo-old baby dead b/c her mama rolled over on her in her bed. Doesn't sound like this is an option for you, but for the other mamas out there.
I read all your answers before this and wanted to lend a sympathetic ear...I'm in the same spot you are for the 2nd time (minus the late working hubby- but I am up at least 3 times every night- think he's teething right now, but the waking up 1-3 times nightly is normal), and with my first kiddo, I don't think he slept through the night until he was almost 18 months (and still to this day will wake up occasionally in the middle of the night...sometimes due to bad dreams and sometimes just because...though if he isn't crying, I will often just tell him "close your eyes and go back to sleep")...this was AFTER weaning at 1 year (yes, we did the 1-3 feedings at night until he was 14 months old...) and trying a sippy cup and sleeping in our bed versus not sleeping with us! Nothing worked for me...that was just how my kiddo was (besides he got teeth about every month- was up to like 14 by the time he was 1- and also had a fever disorder that showed up every 3 weeks- both which kept him up and nursing was his comfort...)...so perhaps that is just your girlie as well!
I would perhaps try the co-sleeping because then you can fall back asleep and I find that my 5-month-old will sleep longer and harder...though I would not plan on doing that past about 12 months...(with his older brother, my hubby- who has now learned to sleep like a rock- was such a light sleeper that my son's sucking would keep him up, so I ended up on the couch or my recliner lots, falling asleep out there when I got up the 1st time my older boy would wake up). I also made sure that I took at least 1 nap during the day with my older kiddo to try to even out the sleepless nights- or now that I have 2 kiddos, I will put a gate up at my door to keep my older son in and safe and turn on a show for my 2-year-old and cuddle up with the 5-month-old and sleep for an hour more while he is busy watching his shows)! Not much help, I know, but thought I would let you know that what you are going through is not abnormal!!!
(BTW, I used to put my older son down at 930-10 when we went to bed and thought that moving his bedtime earlier would help the sleep issue...it didn't for us (tried both while I was still nursing and after) - so by about 9 months, he would go to sleep between 8-830, but he still woke up multiple times at night! So, I personally do not think that is why your daughter is waking up at night...)
I know it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it will all end soon and you will be fighting with her to wake up in time to go to school :-)!
My son nursed until 13 months and he (or myself) didn't sleep through the night until 12 months. I guess he just needed to those meals. At least your baby makes it back to the crib, mine would end up in my bed because I would fall asleep! I wanted to pull my hair out too, but it's over before you know it and you wish for days they nursed again. Han g in there, sleep is just around the corner!
K., I feel your pain. My little guy didn't sleep through the night until he was 13m. It can be frustrating. I'm no expert, but I'm thinking her bedtime needs to be earlier. I would say try a bath following her solid intake at 6-7, then nurse her & put her to bed. It does sound tough with your hubby working nights, everyone's schedule is different....I didn't have that to contend with. If it works, you may just have to adjust your schedule if it means you get some sleep. =) Good luck & please let us all know how it goes.
I know it's tough feeling sleep deprived. Trust me. I've been there. Twice. But, it's pretty normal for babies to still wake at night through the first year. She sounds totally normal to me. Sleeping through the night is a milestone like anything else. In particular, that 8-9 month period seems to be pretty rough. What I did with both my kids was start them in their cribs and when they woke up, I would bring them back to bed and nurse them to sleep and leave them there. Unfortunately, I found with my youngest that he didn't like to cosleep and preferred his space in his crib. What a pain cause he'd crocodile roll in bed with me until I gave up and put him back in his crib. He does sleep through most of the time too now at 17 months. He wakes around 5-5:30 every morning and I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't get him to nurse in bed with me to squeeze another hour out of him in the morning. I didn't do any sleep training because like with my daughter, I figured he'd gradually sleep longer stretches in his crib. Hang in there! It DOES get better. I promise.
PS That really does sound like a late schedule for an 8 month old and you might want to gradually move it back over time until you get maybe an 8-9-ish bedtime. Maybe earlier.
1) I would very highly recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" to you. Excellent resourse. I go back to it time and time again.
2) You are keeping her up way too late, which I think you know. Little bodies simply cannot function well staying up long hours. Staying up too late is probably actually part of what is inhibiting her from sleeping through the night. Sleep begets sleep. The more sleep she gets, the more restful her sleep will be, so she'll sleep better, which will mean she sleeps longer. You've got to move her bedtime back to a decent hour... probably no later than 8 pm. Two options for this... either do it slowly (1/2 hour at a time every few days) or drastically (super early bedtime right away). It will be hell for a few days, but give her little body time to adjust and she will thrive on more sleep. Good luck!
So the first caveat is that any time you try to change any habit, especially sleep - I always say you need to really commit to doing it every day/night for a full week before you decide it doesn't work. I usually always get results after only three days, but I do think you need to commit to it - and when I say commit, I mean, do not waver at all in your consistency- to a full week.
So secondly, the bed time. I'm sure everyone is telling you this but you really do need to move it earlier. Babies that age need at least 12 hours of sleep and unless she's sleeping until noon the next day, she's not getting it. Plus, a consistent sleep schedule, with a consistent bed time is one of the ways babies start learning to sleep through the night. You're onto a good thing with establishing a bedtime routine (bath, nursing, pajamas) and if you do the same thing every night before you put her down, it will help prepare her brain for sleep.
At that age, I was putting my son to sleep anywhere between 7 and 7:30 at night, depending on how his naps had been during the day.
The next kind of bummer is, until I totally cut out the night time nursing, my son didn't sleep through the night. Even when I cut it down to nursing only once per night, he would still wake up one additional time wanting to nurse, even though I wouldn't nurse him. But once I finally cut out all night time nursing, he slept through the night.
It's so hard to be brave enough to cut out the nursing at night. I worried terribly my son would starve! But I promise you, at 8 months, unless your daughter has a medical condition she needs to nurse at night, she can definitely go without nursing at night. My son was an on-demand nurser during the day, and even he finally got the hang of no nursing at night.
There are some great suggestions on how to cut out nursing at night. What I did was gradually reduce the time of each nursing session until I was down to four minutes, and then I would cut it out entirely. Start with one session, the one she nurses the least at, and cut that one out first.
So if she nurses three times a night and nurses, say, 15 minutes the first time, 10 minutes the second, and 14 the third - start with the second nursing time first. Reduce the time you nurse to 8 minutes. You can even reduce the time every two nights if you're worried. But then, once you get down to four minutes, just cut it out entirely. She'll probably still wake for that nursing the night you cut it out but just go in, rub her back and tell her it's still night time. You can even just rock her back to sleep if you need to. I promise she'll get used to it! Once you cut that one out, you can start on the next nursing time whenever you feel you are both up to it.
But that absolute key is consistency. If you're feeding her sometimes and not others, that's confusing and will only add to wake ups. And the earlier bed time really will help. Even though everyone in your house is a night owl, the baby shouldn't have to be. She can be a night owl when she's older, if she chooses to be.
Good luck
If she is getting enough food/milk during the day then she shouldn't need to nurse at night anymore. If you don't make it worth her while to get up, maybe she won't wake up anymore. I tried feeding my oldest daughter water when she woke up at night, but just made her mad, so we started to just let her cry it out. I went back to work when she was 14 weeks old and she was sleeping through the night by the time she was 16 weeks old. Good luck to you! Hope you get a full night sleep soon!
As far as the bedtime goes, try moving it forward by 15 mintues at a time. I know that's what I did when I had to get my girls go to bed earlier. I used to teach and had summers off, so their bedtime was later in the summer. I would take 4 weeks and move the bedtime up 15 minutes every week. By the time school was back in session I had them going to bed when I wanted them to.
sweety, i know EXACTLY how that is..
AT 10 months, we finally decided to do the COLD TURKEY on our son.
I was, too, nursing him every 4 hours.. and was sick of getting up, and forfeiting a solid night of sleep.
When we did cold turkey, he screamed for 3 hours straight. Be prepared to leave the house for a bit, knowing that baby's just fine.. and plan on this for about a week. THEN baby will realize that she doesn't need to have the nursing to go back to sleep.
Let me guess, no pacifier? Mine neither.. Its just the fact that they've learned that nursing is the 'only thing they fall asleep to' and you have to train them that they can self-sooth. FOR ANYONE WITH A YOUNGER infant.. try "BABY WISE" ~ A book about schedules and sleeping through the night.
I agree with some of the other moms in that you are keeping your little one up WAAAY too late. She should be asleep by 7 or very close to that. That would be the first thing that I would change/try and go from there. Good luck!
Hi, K.,
I was in your shoes about 9 months ago with my now 18 month old son. Have you tried rocking or back-patting to help him fall back to sleep at night some of the time? That helped my little guy, since he was less likely to wake up for a rocking than a feeding. That might help at least cut the number of wakings down to 1 instead of 3. At 8 months, 1 nighttime feeding is still very legit, but the others might just be him wanting to hang out with you (you can probably tell which it is)!
I agree with others who suggest an earlier bedtime, especially since you'd like that for yourself anyway. If you move it up gradually, you may have more success.
Hate to tell ya this, but what really got my son sleeping through the night was weaning when he was 1 (when I got pregnant again...oops). Since it sounds like you're not interested at all in weaning yet, hopefully you can at least get down to 1 feeding a night. Good luck!! You will soon be wondering how these days (and nights) passed so quickly!
Does this seem to be a natural schedule for her? For most kids that's incredibly late for bedtime at this age. Kids often sleep better thru the night when they go to bed earlier rather later when they are overtired.
My personally choice was to co-sleep, although my younger one didn't like to after 6 months but was still waking a lot. I ended up doing CIO with him because I couldn't take it anymore and didn't see any option.
There's the no-cry sleep solution by elizabeth pantley, it is a slow method but avoids cio. i would have tried that, but it basically assumes that baby is nursing to sleep and that by getting them to fall asleep on their own they will not need you during night wakings--but my son was putting himself to sleep at 2 months (b/c he refused to nurse to sleep) so that didn't help me. Even the cio methods that have certain plans assume the same thing.
I had to go with going in during the first waking, telling him i loved him and would see him in the morning and not going back. he was 13 months and shocked me by hardly crying at all, and not intensely.
So it just depends on if you want to mess with your schedule or not, how you feel about co-sleeping and how you feel about letting her cry.
Whatever you do, i'd give it 3 nights of trying before giving up. If something is going to help you should see at least a good change after 3 nights even if it's not perfect by then.
