Our 7 month old is also having sleep issues, more during the day, but off and on at nite as well. One nite he'll sleep 8-9 hours straight and the next (happened to be last nite) he's up every 2 hours. UGH. He sometimes will only take a couple 20 minute naps a day after working at it for over an hour. We're thinking he's just not your average bear when it comes to sleep... the "books" say most babies need like 16 hours a day and ours only gets max of about 12. His Dr. also said he's perfect... so what are ya to do?
The crying it out thing just isn't something we're comfortable with, so have been trying everything else we can think of or read. The bedtime routine seems to help, trying to hold off feeding for at least an hour before bedtime (he's breastfed and started solids about a month ago, about 2 oz. of fruit + cereal in the AM and 2 oz. of veggie at nite and an occasional grahm cracker), then bath, massage if he's into it, pj's, soft music, nurse and he usually konks out and goes in his crib.
Now, here's the weird part... some nites he'll sleep straight thru until 5 or 6 am and some nites he's up again in a couple hours. No clue why. If I send the Hubby in to tend to him (diaper change and try to rock him back to sleep) he usually freaks out bad. I think he's just teething (none yet) and misses mom and needs the comforting from me. He's also learning so many new things and babies like to practice their new skills, sometimes in the middle of the nite. We just have to gently remind them that nite time is for sleeping and do everything we can to teach them good sleep habits.
We have tried the catching him when he's "drowsy" and putting him in his crib, letting him kinda fuss (sometimes he just plays for 30-45 min first) but when he gets really upset we go right in and get him. We don't want him to feel abandoned, he's still too young (in our opinion) to be manipulating us... they're new to the world and need our help. Also, we have definitely found that you can't MAKE a baby sleep... darn it.
Now, the sleep deprivation part really, REALLY bites! I work full time and my husband stays home with our son during the day, so me being up all hours sure seems unfair to me - but it's only for a short time (comparably) and I try to just appreciate the time I have to spend with the little bugger, he's already grown SO fast. I also try to nap if and when the opportunity arises, meditate, work on my deep breathing while I have 5 minutes to myself in the shower or in the car on my way to and from work. With you being a stay-at-home mom, try to get a break away, even if you go get a pedicure or massage or wander around the bookstore for an hour once in a while. Gotta try and do little things to make yourself feel human.
If I were you, I'd just feed her and cuddle her and help her to sleep and try to stop fighting it. We have certainly gotten sick of fighting it, just go with what your baby needs for now - I'm sure she'll change it up again. Babies are great like that, just when you think you've finally got something figured out.
Good luck, I hope knowing your'e not the only one going thru this helps a little! :)