9 Month Old Not Sleeping-- Need Help!

Have you considered co-sleeping or bed-sharing?

At 9 months old this child is developing his trust VS mistrust skills. If you do follow through with just putting him in the room and shutting the door and letting him cry and cry and cry all you are doing is teaching him that you are not trustworthy.

He needs to know you are going to come when he cries and that when he needs something you will be there to comfort him. He is unable to do this for himself.

Most kids do not sleep through the night until they are older, they switch back and forth all the time on their schedules, etc....if you want a baby that is well adjusted I suggest you continue to try to get him down at a reasonable time but expect he'll be back up during the night. That is normal. Some babies will sleep through the night a couple of months then they wake up every night 2-3 times every night until they turn 2. It's just part of having a little one in the house.

Just try to be patient, put on some very soft music, hold him close and snuggle him. It won't be too long until you'll be missing that stage. I had a 5 year old jump up and hug me close this morning and it reminded me of when he would look at me and smile, then curl into me and snuggle my chest and shoulder. It means the world to me.

The more you do for him, the more he demands. You are letting him rule the bedtime, and since he doesn't know how to self-soothe, he is demanding that you do it for him. You keep doing all these different things, so he keeps awake. You keep adding to the routine, and that doesn't work either. It's a cycle and if you want this child to learn to sleep, you have to break it.

Do you have the courage?

You need to give him his bath, his bottle, read him one night-night story, and then put him in his crib and walk out. Let him cry. In 5 minutes, come back in and pat his back for a moment and walk back out. In 10 more minutes, ditto. In 15 minutes, come back in, same thing. Add 5 minutes to the amount of time you wait each time. You have to REALLY watch the clock. Do NOT pick him up or give him another bottle. This will wear him out the first several nights, and he will finally fall asleep after hours of crying. Put up with it. Ride it out. Be 100% consistent. If you are not consistent, this will not work, just like everything else you have tried. If you aren't going to be consistent, don't bother doing it because it's not worth trying if you are are just going to cave in to him.

He's been this way for a while. It's not going to change overnight. But you must stop doing anything for him in order for him to learn to self-soothe. No talking to him. No eye contact. You lay him back down and pat him for a moment and nothing more.

When you DO get him used to going to sleep on his own, he will be a much happier, healthier baby. And you will be a happier family.

Dawn

I agree with Jennifer.

You do what works that causes the less stress.
And at 9 months you're looking at a growth spurt. So he may need more to eat. Make sure he's getting enough to eat during the day and make sure he's getting enough sleep during the day. If not over tired is the fastest way to get no sleep. sounds weird but it's true. They hit that sleep wall and then they can't sleep. Maybe put him down earlier?
Could there be something in his bed he doesn't like? Have you tried music or a white noise maker? Maybe it's too quiet in his room. Was it quiet in his sleeping area when you were on vacation or could he hear people talking, a tv on etc?

The best place for baby to sleep is wherever baby will sleep.

At 9 months old, I wouldn't focus too much on where he sleeps or how to get him to sleep. By that I mean, do what works. Don't worry about forming a bad habit, he's 9 months old. By 11 months his needs will change again on their own.

I agree with Gretchen. Co-sleeping can be a godsend. You might give it a try. Don't worry, he won't be sleeping there forever, but it can really make him feel secure just knowing you're there.

You put him in his crib-when you want him to go to sleep-and you shut the door-and it is as tough as can be on the parents for about three nights-but he will learn to self soothe, and if he wakes up at night-he'll be able to get himself back to sleep. Good luck, I know how difficult this is.

We did the Ferber method, it worked for us. Following major disruptions to the routine, i.e. vacations, stomach viruses, etc, we revisited the Ferber method, it worked again.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.