My son is 5 months old and is having a terrible time staying asleep. I'll try to list everything we have tried. I slept with him in a recliner for about the first month...than he slept on and off in his swing or on my in the recliner until he was 3 months. He had a lot of gas and reflux issues which I think we have finally worked out. Now he will sleep in his crip on a wedge swaddled but only for 20-30 min. Than he pops up like he took a 3 hour nap. He is very happy when he is awake but he can't sooth himself back to sleep. If his pacifier pops out he also wakes up and he can't quite get it back in on his own yet. We have tried crying it out to a point....we have tried swaddled and un swaddled...changing temps...chamomile tea....gas drops....white noise...sleeping on his tummy....patting his back...staying in his room...reading to him....singing to him...feeding him cereal right before bed...sleep sacks....putting the heating pad on his sheet before putting him in there...hmmm I think that's it. He doesn't freak out when we put him in his crib or don't hold him but he only sleeps for a long time if he is being held and rocked otherwise he's super restless and kicks and squirms until he wakes himself up and he just can't put himself back to sleep. At night he had started sleeping like 3-4 hours at a time at 3 months and than 4 months hit and that totally stopped and he has never gone back to it. The entire house is exhausted and I'm desperate!! I have no idea what to do!! Any tips or ideas would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!!!
I just want to say I'm sorry. Some babies are like this. My son was just like this. He didn't get better until after age 1 and he didn't really sleep well till age 2. It was extremely exhausting and hard. My daughter was a more normal sleeper and was so much easier. All the suggestions and book advice that I did never worked with my son. But it all worked like a charm with my daughter.
Co-sleeping was a lifesaver for us. We found that our son was really just looking for us. Once we started letting him sleep with us we noticed that if he started to wake and then "found" one of us, he went right back to sleep.
I always had them begin the night in their own bed. Once they woke, they came into our bed. This was a really helpful routine for us, because as they began to sleep longer stretches, they became more and more comfortable in their own bed. And when they were ready to sleep through the night, they did so in their own bed.
We didn't really have any trouble getting them used to their own bed.
This is why we co-slept.
Are you open to co-sleeping?
Babies up during the night is fairly common.
Nap when he naps during the day or get a relative or sitter to look after him so you can catch up with sleep.
Often Mom and Dad switch off nights with the baby so one will get a good nights sleep every other day.
In the afternoon take baby on a good long stroller walk.
Fresh air seems to help tire them out.
he's way too little and has had too many issues for CIO.
take him out of the equation for a moment and think about what YOU need the most. and build your strategy around that. co-sleeping might be the answer, or putting a cot in his room. best of all would be on-and-off shifts with your husband so that one of you is getting a good night's sleep at least every other night while this phase works itself out.
it is for sure one of the most difficult things to deal with as young parents.
i wish some good sleep for you soon.
khairete
S.
I suggest co-sleeping.
My son was like yours and still is a poor sleeper (he's 21 months now). He was only able to sleep in the swing when it was actually swinging for the first two months. Otherwise, his naps would be less than 30 minutes. I also tried most everything you listed. He learned to sleep through the night at 9 months. Even now, he wakes once during the night and has trouble putting himself back to sleep. So I totally get your frustration. The only thing that worked for my son was co-sleeping. We still do it, even for his naps.
You've worked so hard to deal with the reflux that your little one hasn't learned how to self-soothe. He's used to waking up and can't put himself back to sleep. You've trained him to respond to being held
Your baby is old enough to sleep train. If you are really miserable now, you might as well be miserable sleep training.
Talk to your pedictrician. He or she can give you some pointers. Read up on the Ferber method.
Your baby isn't getting enough rest to help with brain development. And you're losing your minds dealing with no sleep. It will be hard, but it's time for tough love. Babies cannot learn to self-soothe if you do the soothing for them. And that's what you've been doing. Deal with it, as hard as it seems.
Sounds like you've tried everything - and I wonder if you've tried too many things and he's just confused and has not enough structure.
Forget the pacifier - kids can't figure it out at all. You cannot sleep with him his whole life, but if you try co-sleeping, commit to it.
Reading and singing? Too much stimulation. He's too dependent on you.
Is the reflux all taken care of? If that's ruled out, then it's just habit and being calm.
Cry It Out - not sure how you did it. If you did it cold turkey, that doesn't work. I agree with Doris Day - read up on Ferber which is not Cry It Out, it's sleep training. Do not give up on it. Commit to it, be consistent with both you and your husband doing exactly the same thing, and saying the same words. No caving in or quitting. For us, it took 3 days. Even if it takes a week, it works. Get some help if you need to, either Grandma or a night aide or sending the other kids (depending on the age) to a neighbor or Aunt Millie.
He needs a full night of sleep for brain development, so that's your goal. It has as much to do with him as it does with the rest of you being exhausted. This is a gift you are giving him, not torture. Just as you teach your kids on an ongoing basis not to jump around while they are eating or cross the street without holding hands, and you reinforce it each time, you have to do that with sleep.
Your son sounds EXACTLY like mine at that age. The most exasperating thing is that they're happy and not fussy with so little sleep. Is he on the verge of a developmental milestone like rolling over or pushing up? That will play havoc with nighttime and naptime schedules. I don't have a magic bullet for you, unfortunately, other than time. Our son didn't sleep well consistently until he was 2.5 years (sorry). The upside? He's super smart, sunny, energetic and a barrel of fun. Sounds like yours may be the same way. Hang in there mama. It WILL get better.
My two oldest were never good sleepers for different reasons. My youngest was a good sleeper but I was so unaccustomed to that, I'd wake up every 20 minutes to check on him. I suggest figuring out what YOU need and then rotating with your spouse/partner looking after the baby at night so you can each get the sleep you need half the time. As awful as it is now, half is better than none. And this time is shorter than it currently feels; you just have to get through it without having a break-down and that means...you need some decent sleep. For me, naps on week-ends are still a saving grace. It's not the kids anymore. It's menopause plus how well they trained me to NOT sleep! Good luck!
Go get the baby whisperer's book. She is terrific! I used a slightly adjusted method of her's with my 2nd and 3rd kids, and they were (mostly) great sleepers.
