Adivce for Maintenence of Husband's Home Office

I am a professional organizer and believe me there is not much you can do unless someone creates some systems for him (or you) to be able to clean up quickly and easily. It is not about changing him as much as it is about working with his personality and working style. Visit my web site at www.refinedperspectives.com and give me a call if you think it will help. He sounds like a great guy who is very creative and smart, they are usually the least organized. Cheers

I have the same situation. The solution for us was to put shades on the french doors and close them when he is not working. I don't have to see the mess. Problem solved. If it doesn't bother him, don't let it bother you - just shut the door!

i wish i had a great answer for you. i have the same problem!! i've just about given up. i just keep the doors closed as much as possible and try not to dwell on the mess when i have to go in there. I'm going to be looking to see if anyone sends you some good responses.

E., I have a husband with similar work habits. I would tell you my husband's office is indescribable, but you know what it looks like. Put some curtains on the french doors and let him be.

I have come to understand that there are emotional reasons he keeps his stuff piled up, never thrown away(college notes- "They're from MIT, those were the best minds in the country for this stuff."), unbeleivable wires, towering piles of books, book shelves lining the walls and stuff stacked on them to the ceiling. I know.

Our 18 month son loves Daddy' office too, and he is just not allowed in there unsupervised.

Take a deep breath,let him work his way.

E.,
I can truly understand where your coming from. I too, have a husband (in sales) who offices from the home. Fortunately for me, he chose to use a bedroom upstairs for his office instead of the " french door study" which is the first room you see upon entering the house. My husband's office is a disaster area and he knows it so he closes the door and no one is the wiser. Since we both know that we cannot change our husbands and at this late date, you would become worn out by trying.. my advice to you is to save your sanity and marriage by putting some beautiful fabric coverings on those french doors so no one can see in and save your strength for the more important battles.

Hi E.,

I noticed that a few professional organizers have responded--some I know or have heard of, some I do not know at all. I am also a Professional Organizer and currently on the board of the DFW chapter of the National Assocation of Professional Organizers. The difference in my services verses others is that my specialty is office systems. As an expert at office organization, I wanted to confirm that much of everyone's advice is applicable. The curtains or sheers are a great idea to put in place, not only to keep the mess hidden, but also for more privacy for your husband. And it is very true that even if the best organizer sets him up with greatest systems, they will fail if he is not willing to put them into play. If he is interested in learning and practing new habits, share the before-and-after pictures shown on organizer websites, such as the ones mentioned in the replies, as well as mine www.find-my-desk.com. Perhaps if he sees what is possible, he will be willing to try. Good luck!

Curtains on the french doors. Maybe a couple of folding screens.

OR you could insist he spend more time being neat and less time being productive.

Your choice, actually.

I would recommend hanging some curtains on the inside of the doors... that way if it is a bit messy the curtains will hide the mess when the doors are closed.

I would talk to him, if the mess is getting in the way of your daughter spending time with him, as in it would be dangerous, then talk to your husband, and see if you cannot come up with a bin/storage system... perhaps he can take your daughter for a walk each evening while you straighten up (you could be his assistant)...

But I would say if it is a successful business and it allows you to stay home with your child... put up the curtains and ignore the mess, be blessed because that mess is providing for your needs.

Hi E. - lot's of great advice on this site as always!

Your marriage is most important, so the important questions really are: Is it unsafe for your child? Does it spill over to the rest of the house? If not, then it is something you might have to live with, and I agree - go buy those curtains! But if it is a safety issue, then you need to discuss that you are concerned that your daughter may get hurt and can not be allowed in there. It may or may not make him think differently if his work area was viewed as "unsafe" for your child. If it is spilling over to other rooms, you should discuss your concern and feelings if it is effecting your quality of life throughout the rest of the home. Clearly, it get's to him at some point - because he cleans it up occassionally! I imagine the catalyst is ultimately not being able to function, or most likely, needing to find something!

Almost all successful business people can become even MORE effecient and successful- when better organized. Who knows how MUCH of his time is spent looking for or replacing things, or duplicating his efforts when that time could be spent making more money or spending more time with his family.
Instead of looking to convince him, because it is embarrasing you.. look for any signs that HE gives that it is a problem for HIM... such as frustration over something he can't find, stress over a late or missed deadline/opportunity. Let him know that you hate to see him stressed or upset over it and you want to help him find a solution with this vs. offering to CLEAN or organize his office :)

I am a Professional Organizer too, and yes, an organizer CAN help him be more productive, less stressed and more successful, but he has to be the one to want it and be HONEST about it. If he expresses he would like a better system, or that he is indeed frustrated at times, but is just too busy - get him an organizer for Christmas or his Birthday! Here is my website for more information about Professional Organizers, and my Blog ... there are some helpful tips and articles there. www.organizedbysandy.com and www.simplyorganizedbysandy.blogspot.com - Best of Luck to you!

2 ideas:
1 - buy some sheers to put over the windows of the french doors, or
2 - have him HIRE you to do his office maintenance... just a small weekly contract fee that you can use to treat yourself or the kids with. This way you can clean up to your hearts content without feeling taken advantage of. And for him it is a business expense that can be written off. I would suggest that you let him decide how often to receive your services, such as weekly.

E., you've already gotten great advice from everyone who has responded so I just have one thing to add. In the grand scheme of things is a messy room really all that important? If I am letting myself be "bugged" by someone or something I apply this litmus test: If I found out that I or one of my loved ones had a terminal disease would this issue/person/thing still be important to me? The answer has always been a resounding NO! Don't sweat the small stuff and it's almost all small stuff. Get some curtains, new doors and/or a good lock to keep your child out and let it go!

Put some nice sheered curtains on the inside of the office doors and close them. Keep the husband.

I believe I am married to his twin.

As long as he is running a successful business, clean up the dirty dishes in the office, leave the rest alone. Buy some light-weight curtains and hang them on the french doors (attach at top and bottom) to easily "hide" the mess when the doors are closed. Ask him to please get in the habit of closing those doors when people are over or when he leaves his office for the day. When he is sick of his own mess, he will clean it up. Until then, look at it this way....one less thing YOU have to do. Give this problem to him because he obviously doesn't see it as an issue, so you can't either. If you are worried about your daughter being in his office, then keep her out of it when he's at work. Good luck!

Ok, so he's messy and you have accepted that it's in his nature. How nice for him to have such an accepting wife...but seriously...GET OVER IT AND STAND SOME GROUND.

Ok, the tough love part is over. My husband wasn't as neat as me eithe when we married but we talked about it...and still do. I've let some things go and learned somethings will never change, but on the other hand he has learned to respect the fact that most of the world is neat...it's him that isn't with the rest of us and he actually tries to be neater. Don't get me wrong, I tend to have to go behind him every once in a while to "organize" what he has cleaned up, but atleast the man tries and sometimes does a really good job.

Marriage is about give AND take. Sit down and have a talk with him and let him know that you would like him to take even just 5 minutes a day after work and straighten up. Have a timer there and set it. Just 5 minutes a day to straighten up the office area isn't asking alot and will make a big improvement. Having the office in the front of the house...it's what people see first, explain that to him.

Much luck with the husband training! :)

Everyone needs their personal space, and if he's able to confine his mess to the office, I would look for ways to live with that. Maybe put curtains or blinds on the french doors? I understand you not wanting to see the mess every time you walk in the door. And he has to keep the doors shut - your 1 year old going in there is probably not safe if she's unsupervised, and is going to exhaust you if she is b/c you'd have to watch her! Hope this helps.

I think the first thing you need to do is communicate with your husband to see what he would be comfortable with. Voice your concerns and then ask him to help you come up with the best solution. If he is open to having an organizer come in and help him out then it will be more successful than if you do it on your own.

Also blinds look good on French doors :)

Good luck, I'm sure you guys will come up with a great solution.

Hi E.,
My husband and I both work from home and have for about 4 years (me for 6 yrs). While I am content to keep my work-related explosions confined to my desk, which is a roll-top desk that can hide the craziness when guests come over. My husband has a tendency to "spread out". It can't be controlled. It's the way he thinks.

I got a legal-size file cabinet and just started filing things. After awhile he started using it and now it's a habit to put the files away each day. (This usually occurs around dinner time because I need my dining room table back.)

As far as the kids wanting to hang out in there - if you can't beat it, join it. My office is the most used room in our house. We have 5 computers in here altogether. Frankly, it is a great "family" room because we all are in communication about things and we do homework, games, etc. I feel like I see my kids more as a result instead of them both being in their rooms playing. They don't just play the computers either - they bring legos, dolls, etc. in here and when it's time to clean up, everyone knows to grab their excess stuff and put it back.

All this being said, yes, sometimes when he is out of town, I "white tornado" the office and get things back to presentable again...

Good luck!
C.

E., I am a professional organizer, based in Arlington. I travel all over the metroplex and do the exact type of organizing you talk about needing. The problem is this - If your husband isn't onboard with getting help, it will only become the exact same problem you have now, in another month or so. You will feel you have wasted your time, effort, and money.

I urge you to get his enthusiasm going about this and then call me! I have very reasonable rates, compared to my competition, and I do a free one hour consultation so you'll know exactly what to expect. I'm sure we can find a happy medium he can get excited about.

Please see my website www.OrganizedByBecky.com. Please call me at ###-###-#### to make an appointment. I look forward to serving you!

B. P., Organization Unlimited LLC

I laugh because you are describing me! I office from home most days and it is an absolute mess! I have narrowed it down to a couple of things. When you work from home, you rarely transition...pack your bags, put things away. You just turn on the computer and go. At the end of the day, you turn off the computer and walk out of the office. No need to pick up stuff because you have to start back up later in the evening or the next day. I am sure an organizer could help to a certain extent but some of it is a behavior change that your husband and MYSELF need to make. We really need to do that "transition" like we were in a real office and close things down. I know this not real advice but thought I would share from your husband's side. BTW..I hate the office being a mess but the convenience and family benefits out weigh the mess sometimes.

We have had 1/2 inch miniblinds on our French doors and we have had translucent sheers on the doors as well when the room served as a bedroom.

I liked the mini-blinds better even though I'm not a fan of them. I ordered them on line and found that you can get them a hundreds of colors and with either a white or a same-color reverse side. I used the aluminum blinds. Unfortunately, my daughter would not let me attach them to the bottom of the window of the door, so they did not last as long as I would have liked. (The effect of a slamming door is greater if the blinds rattle and clank on the door frame.)

That was several years ago though. Now that space which is a converted garage is supposed to be a den but is more like a storage room. It's right off the living room, but it doesn't get a lot of light, so just keeping the lights off and the blinds on the outside window closed solves most of the problems for the moment.

Hi E., I office from home, have been for the last 5 years. I love it. But the last thing I want to do after working all day is clean up my office. Sounds like you have blinds on the doors? Keep it closed and unless it's a guest room as well, don't ever ask your husband to clean it again... EVER. It's his space. Think about it this way, if he were at a traditional office building, you wouldn't hound his to clean his office. You are happy about him being home, being successfull, and loving you and your daughter....so let him have his space without a word from you from now on. :-)

If he is successful enough for you three to have the things you need and want, be home with you and your daughter and work in his PJ's, close the doors!

Get some nice curtains for the doors and then you won't have to look at it. When you do see it, try to focus on the positive side of the mess....it's a successful business and it's supporting your family through these tough times.

Hope this helps,
J.

Hello E.,

I am a Professional Organizer based in Richardson. Without re-doing his method. I would suggest having him or you set up systems so that it's not so messy...and I don't mean a messy...piled system. Systems are easy to maintain once you get it there.

I offer a 2 hour consultation in your home to teach you and walk you through how to do the work yourself. I teach YOU the systems, give suggestions, tips, space planning and more. Then A) you can do the work yourself or B) hire our team of organizers back to do the work for you.

But...these systems will never work if he is not on board...just setting down talking to you both and giving you the information is a great start.

Check out our site then email me with a couple of dates that work for you.

L. B.
www.GetOrganized.ws

Put curtains on the French doors and just let it go. He might resent you trying to organize his office. If he was at a typical office building, you wouldn't go organize it there. I'm the same as you and can't stand the disorganization. I've just had to close the doors and pretend it wasn't part of the house. It's not like company is going to want to hang out in your office:)

I agree fully with Marianne. Put curtains on the french doors (they make some very attractive ones that attach at the top and bottom), keep the door closed and let him continue to run is successful business his way.

My husband started working from home almost 2 years ago and he is not the most organized or neat person on the planet. Unfortunately for him, I am. Thank goodness, his office is upstairs in our bonus room. For the first year, I would constantly complain and ask him to please straighten things. I read a book a few months back on how boys think and learn(we have 2 sons) and started applying what I had read about to my husband. Males need to have a large area to spread all their materials out and tend to be a less organized than women. I, also, have made myself accept the fact that we are all different and a messy office is not worth arguing over. If I were you, I would tell your husband your concerns and how his messy office makes you feel and then come to a compromise. Maybe he will let you help him be a little more organized if you stop complaining about his office. Maybe you can have a door installed that can't be opened by your 1 year old and he can keep his office as messy as he likes as long as the door stays closed. Just because you have the office organized and cleaned, it will most likely not stay that way. Good luck!

i work from home and do not like my husband messing with my space. i am not sure if you husband feels that way; so you may want to involve him in the organization. we ended up getting two desks and two computers so that i feel as though i have my own work space. however, our office is upstairs and not easily seen. what you could do is buy some bins from potterybarn for him to put papers in. i bought some of those from potterybarn for papers that are not filed. at least they are gently placed in a pretty covered storage bin than just laying out on my desk. also, you could buy one of those cabinets with a built in desk - i can't remember what they are called. however, when he is done for the day he just closes the cabinet doors and the mess is hidden. working from home seems great until you realize that the mess is also at home. good luck!

Get some curtains for the French Doors and just leave it alone. I know it's annoying but you need to devote your time where it's better spent - playing with your child or tending to other household duties. If your husband doesn't care about the mess, let him have his space to keep it how he wants it.

I do not mean this in a harmful/disrespectful manner. My impression of someone that in their pajamas for most of the day symbolizes one of being a unorganized/slob/mentally off kilter. With that said, your husband will never change because someone in his family did not teach him to be organized/clean. Leave the mess alone forever and let him be in his "sty" ie office. He knows that when he leaves, you will clean/organize his office... so why should he have to? Leave it alone. Remove the french doors/get solid doors. Good luck.