My son is 20 months old and has always had issues with food. He actually had to be seen by an occupational therapist to get him to eat sold foods because he would just gag and throw up if he didn't like the texture of something, and since he's always been on the very small side the lack of weight gain was a problem. He got over that problem and did great for quite awhile, but now that he can eat more foods we're struggling to get him to eat what we do instead of, say, grilled cheese or pb&j for every meal. It's been quite awhile now that I've at least offered him the foods that we eat, but he just won't touch most of it. At what point (age) do you just say, "This is what's for dinner - period" and not offer alternatives? I think I worry about his weight gain since he's struggled with it since he was born, and I also don't want to deal with a hungry, fussy toddler in the middle of the night. How have you moms handled picky eaters?
Thank you all so much for your advice and encouragement! I think to start I am going to try to either eliminate snacks or at least time them so that they shouldn't interfere with dinner and continue to offer what we're eating. Fortunately my son has never liked juice and hasn't been offered sugary snacks, so at least I know that he's getting some of what he actually needs if he does get hungry in between the meals that he's actually eating. Sometimes he's willing to try something that really surprises me, so I'm just going to keep offering new items (as well as those not-so-new-ones he's rejected again and again without sampling) but also keep in mind that he has had problems with GERD and sensory processing that may still be affecting him. Thanks again!
J., I posted a similiar question a couple days ago and have gotten some good responses. I hear ya on the weight issue, the picky eating, etc. Isn't it so frustrating! Only my little guy is only 16 months. If you come up with any new tricks, email me :)
J., you don't have a picky eater, you have a child with sensory processing disorder - that's why you had to work with an occupational therapist. so I would stop making food a power struggle at all and relax. feed him what he will eat, and let him grow at his own rate. offer him what you eat and if he refuses, don't fuss. Sensory processing disorder is a neurological disorder and you can't always intervene with behavioral reinforcements. I have a daughter with SPD, and sometimes they will just grow out of it and sometimes they don't. If he is healthy and growing, even if slowly, just leave it alone. If you want support around SPD a great website is www.spdnetwork.org . There are great feeding therapists in the denver area as well.
does he have other sensory issues? like not liking noises, or scratchy clothes? If he is fussy about a lot of things, not just food, an OT can help. write to me offline and I'll give you some great resources.
take care, S.
It’s easy for people who have never had a REALLY picky eater to say that a child won’t starve himself. You know that a truly picky eater has a very strong will, especially when texture is an issue.
Sounds like you’re on the right track. All you need is the steps to motivate your son to eat what you’re eating. You might be interested in the book, “Baby Bites: Transforming a Picky Eater into a Healthy Eater”
http://www.babybites.info/2009/05/12/picky-eater-no-more/
By implementing whole foods, positive discipline, with multi-sensory learning (teaching a child to appreciate different textures is a vital part) picky eaters quickly transform. It takes about a week for the new rules (no special meals, no tantrums, follow directives, etc.) to kick in. It’s amazing how quickly a picky eater can change.
Hi J.,
My daughter had some texture issues as well (with GERD). anyway she still has a few issues causing her to eat a limited diet.....But I do give her something she is not 'comfortable' with every night. If she wants seconds of her favorite foods she has to take one bite of the food, then I'll give her a small portion of one of her favorites. Usually she will eat at least 2 bites. The idea is to make the "new" food normal gradually over time.
Since you son doesn't eat much make sure you don't give him to much food to begin with...I would say 2/3rd of what you think he will eat to begin with (make sure you use a kids plate to keep proportions small enough.).
Hang in there,
He will not eat sandwiches forever!
R.
www.babybites.info Website and book. My friend Joann (the author) solved this problem in her grandchildren.
Also, I never fed my kids separate foods from what the adults ate. And I NEVER gave them juice; only milk and water. Juice is simply sugar-water and RARELY has any nutrients, but kids very easily get addicted to carbs because many parents feed them crackers and Cheerios and juice all day, plus cookies and chips. None of these products has any nutritional value. So watch out for that too. Good luck! I'm sure Joann's book can help!
My son hasn't had a weight gain problem, but we already do that and have doing that since he was able to eat our food for dinner, he is 18 1/2 months old. He is almost always picky at dinner, but not at breakfast and lunch, so I know he at least gets that. He also doesn't wake up hungry at night. We can usually get him to eat a little anyways, of our dinner, but sometimes its touch and go. But I do it because I do not want to be in the habit of cooking separate meals for my kids. My daughter who is 3, takes awhile, but will mostly eat everything that we give her now, even vegetables. But I know every kid is different, and like I said, my son hasn't had a weight gain problem. (He probably sneaks food, ha ha).
Every child goes through a picky eater stage. It's a control issue that get's really tough in the 2's. I give my children the same meal as everyone else when they are old enough to eat all solids without fear of allergies. I really begin enforcing the 'eat what I give you or you don't get anything else in between 18 months and 2 years.
I recommend you start doing so as soon as possible. Most kids will eat when they are hungry enough and begin to realize that the food they are given during meal time needs to be eaten or they have to wait until the next meal.
The key is to be consistent! Do NOT give in to the begging for a different food. Good luck!
Have a GREAT day!
S.
I'd say start requiring him to eat the meal you serve. He won't starve himself. Our rule is you eat your meal, or nothing more until the next meal. My almost 3yo also has serious weight issues, and he does just fine with this. The earlier you start catering to him, the easier it will be. If you're worried about his not eating enough, you can add fat to his servings to help. We use a lot of Flax Seed oil. It's helped both our little ones gain weight. Our son had OT for choking and gagging problems, too. I understand the fear that comes with that, but once it's under control, it's time to widen the diet. He'll gain weight faster once he has a wider variety of health foods. GL! If you need help, we've been through it once and are now on round two. Weight issues are no fun. I'm curious, does your son have reflux? That's what's caused our sons problems. There are a lot of things you can do for that to help with the appetite. GL!
Now is the perfect time to fix one thing, he can eat or not.
He will not starve himself, he won't. He will learn he can manipulate you with not eating to get what he wants, that happens early on. Do not cater to him, offer choices, and though some frown on it, dessert is my biggest bargaining tool. It is very simple, you eat what is served or nothing else most certainly NOT dessert. With two one of whom eats anything and everything, the other follows suit as there have been many nights my son watched my daughter eating her ice cream and he got none.
Hold firm, he will not starve, offer milk after or during dinner, limit snacks a few hours before the meals so he is truly hungry. Have him try before he ever says "I don't like this or refuse it" that drives me batty, my friend let's her four year old dictate every meal and say "I don't like it"..without ever even trying it.
My son hated fish, especially salmon, I made it and would put one bite on his plate, he would not happily eat it, but ate great veggies and whatever else we had, now after probably 20 times, he loves it!
Continue to expose him to new flavors and foods, he is to eat two to three bites or nothing else!
Be tough, a few nights of him being hungry before bed he will get it! Promise, it is not mean, but teaching good eating habits. He is still young so making sure if he really doesn't eat to give him a Pediasure or a multi vitamin.
My friend had trouble since day one with her daughter and continues to cater to her and she is four and just as stubborn as before, she will it only 10 things and does not try anything new or eat anything else and my friend tolerates it! If you want the battle to stop, then you have to be willing to put in the work, it isn't easy, but stick with it.
No specific advice here, but you might appreciate the book "My Child Won't Eat!" It's published by La Leche League, the breastfeeding information group. YOu could get it through them, either to purchase or to borrow for free from your local Leader/group (find them at www.llli.org) or online at Amazon, Powells, or similar. I like their books because the suggestions are always gentle and respectful,
I have somewhat of the same problem, except my son does not eat any solids- he is 20 months today. He just started chewing on crackers but he spits them out- no swallowing. He was with an OT but now we are starting a feeding clinic tomorrow actually. If he is not getting the amount of foods he needs- supplement with a pediatric drink. They are expensive but the difference will be noticable (sp). I understand what your going through and if I can be of any help- let me know. I have TONS of info on this from clinicians. M.
