Advice Needed on a Parent Situation!

Hmmm, if your mom is never happy than that probably isn't a great place for your daughter to be living. You may want to bring her back home, no matter what the situation is(unless of course she's of age).
I don't know why you and your mom don't get along but just remember: you can never change her, but you can ALWAYS change the way you act and react to her. You never know, that just may help your relationship quite a bit. You said they are uneasy around you, do you have a bad attitude and not realize it? Anyway, I've been through some sticky situations w/ my mom also, and one day I realized I was putting too much emphasis on things that didn't even matter. We disagree on quite a bit but we get along just fine now because I realized, the things we don't agree on, we just should'nt talk about those subjects. Sometimes my mom gets mad and tells me to quit telling her what to talk about and sometimes when I'm in one of those wanting to argue moods :)I'll talk about a touchy subject w/ her, but for the most part we get along great. Life is too short to have hard feelings toward a family member, so ask yourself if what you are arguing about really matters. Focus on the things you love about her and don't talk about subjects that you both disagree on. Good luck and I wish you happiness!

Bless your heart.

I really don't have any thoughts except to say I'm sure you're in good company. Or at least speaking for myself.
My mom and I actually were very close until I had my son, (now 6 weeks short of 18!) I'm really not sure what the trigger was, but I have done a lot of soul searching and even some counseling, and feel confident that while I may or may not have done anything to trigger the change in our relationship, after all these years, it's not just me! I also believe that there is something to the mother-daughter thing since my brother can say and do almost anything and she sees it as funny. And as one of my brother says, "mom is a travel agent for guilt trips!"
But irregardless of your relationship with your daughter or mom, in my opinion, there is NO reason for keeping your dad's condition from you. Family is family.

Best of luck.

Lori

I agree with the advice that you need to remember you can't change her. I've been to counseling over my relationship with my Mom & figured out I was trying too hard to "fix" her and I needed to let go. My counselor recommended I read a book that really hit home..... "The Dance of Anger" by Harriet Lerner. You should check it out. I started to understand why my Mom pushes my buttons & how to deal with it. She seeks approval from me which I think stems from her not getting her own mother's approval growing up. Anyway, I'm trying to raise a child of my own, let alone try to mother her! I wish you luck!

it does suck that parents put us in these situations. mine was my dad, so i can relate somewhat. it kinda got to the point where i was like, you know what, i can't spend my life trying to fix this and then getting heartbroken all over again when it doesn't work. you might not be near that point yet, so hopefully you can realize that even though she's the "adult" or supposed to be in this relationship, sometimes it's on us kids to grow up and handle it. and all you can control is YOUR reactions, like someone said. it may be hard and you may have to swallow your pride, but it sounds like you have an active relationship with her and other members of the family, so it's probably worth it to give a little. she's taken in your daughter, right? crappy that she probably uses that to hold over your head (or you imagine she does even if she hasn't said anything) but at least she's willing to do it. my point is, the relationship isn't comletely ruined yet. for your sake and your kids' try whatever you have to to make sure it doesn't get that way. with my dad i did literally everything i could, and it still wasn't enough, so i had to let go. and i'll always regret my son not knowing his grandfather.