Hello moms! My twins will be 8 months old next week and I am still struggling to get them to sleep through the night. I'm really at my wits end and the lack of sleep is really doing a number on me! (I'm sure many of you can relate!) Obviously, since they were newborns thing have improved, but I feel like at (almost) 8 months they should not be waking as often as they do at night. There are some nights when one or they other (or if I'm REALLY lucky both of them on the same night) will sleep straight through until morning. But it is not consistent AT ALL. Every night when they go to sleep I cross my fingers and hope for a good night. At this point both babies are waking 1 to 2 times a night...so that means I'm getting up 2 - 4 times a night (my husband works nights so often I'm the only one getting up). I've read several places that babies of this age do not need to be fed through the night. Unfortunatly, I have gotten in the habbit of feeding them when they do wake because I know it will get them back to sleep quickly. I hate that I do that and am trying to break this bad habbit I have started. But here is the other problem....the babies share a room. I have no problem letting them cry (or really its more of a wimper because they are half asleep) until they settle themselves down and back to sleep on their own. This happens sometimes and I'm grateful that they occasionally are able to do this on their own. But often they break out into a loud full cry and I panic because I don't want them to wake their sibling. Then I'm stuck with two babies who are awake (and I'm alone with hubby at work). So I will go in when I feel they are crying too hard, loud, or see (through the monitor) that they are waking the other baby. I would love to hear from other moms who have been in this similar sitation of twin babies sharing a room and having trouble getting them to consistently sleep though the night. THANK YOU!!!!!!
Look up whatever advice Dr. Sears & Sears have on this issue & follow that! (I saw that someone here did respond with a Sears link below.)
My brother has one year old twins and the Sears books have been tremendously helpful for them as new parents.
Hi S.,
I have twins too. They started sleeping in separate rooms when they where 2 months old to prevent them to wake each other up. My girls didnt start sleeping thru the night until they were about 2.5. When they woke up I would feed them. They were breastfeed until about 14 months, after that I just prepared a couple of bottles before I went to bed. I never used the methot that allows the kids to cry it out. I also never brought them to my bed. I would sit on the floor next to the crib and tap their bum to get them to sleep again.
I don't have twins, but I did have boys who shared a room from the time the younger one was 6 months old or so. The younger one was like your twins -- he woke up every couple of hours until he was more than 1 year old, and I was in the habit of nursing him to get him to go back to sleep quickly. I also was panicked that he would wake up his brother. But eventually the loss of sleep got to be too much for me, so when he was 13 months or so, I decided I needed to stop nursing him at night, cold turkey. This was easier for me than it sounds like it would be for you because my husband is home at night, and we decided that he would get up to calm the baby down because if he saw me he would just want to nurse. My husband would go into the room, calm down the baby, then put him back in his crib and tell him it was time to go to sleep. Much crying usually ensued, and sometimes my husband had to go back in. It was a week or two of continuing rough nights, but the good news is that the crying did not (usually) bother his brother and that eventually the baby forgot about nursing at night. He also started sleeping all the way through after a week or two.
I don't know whether this will help because I think a lot of the success had to do with the fact that my older son is a really sound sleeper and that my husband was available to help. But I think the key is to find a way to stop the nighttime feedings. I completely understand why you are doing it -- in the middle of the night, when you just want to go back to bed, it's by far the more appealing option. But in the long run it only makes things harder for you. The babies are probably depending on nursing to help them get back to sleep, so they have trouble soothing themselves without that. Good luck!
Its really surprising to hear so many parents still not believing that babies NEED to eat during the night. They are hungry, and it is completely normal(and good) that they wake themselves and communicate that they need to be fed. My suggestion is to figure out how you can get some sleep AND feed them during the night. My daughter is nine months old and nurses several times during three night, I do not, however lose any sleep: she sleeps next to me, rolls over, nurses and stays asleep(this is the only way the I know of babies sleeping through the night at this age!). I have never lost any sleep! Remember, babies do need to eat during the night . Check out this article on sleep from http://askdrsears.com/html/7/T070200.asp This is an amazing website that can give you authoritative, informed information on sleeping. Good Luck!
I was lucky that one of my twins was a good sleeper, so at least I only had one awake baby at night. The not-good-sleeper, though, woke at least once a night until she was 18 months. I honestly don't remember the age that we stopped giving her a bottle at night... but I think by that age, we didn't feed her unless she was wide awake, or kept waking up. I never wanted to do CIO because I didn't want to disturb the "good" sleeper. However, if I had two babies waking up at night, I probably would have!!!
I guess my advice is... try to get them back to sleep without the bottle as often as you can... if it's not working, try CIO... and think about moving them into separate rooms. Since you have b/g twins, they're going to need separate rooms eventually anyway.... so you may as well at least start thinking about it now. Good luck!!
Wow, you definitely have your hands full. Twins are so challenging. What I'm reading is that, in order to preserve THEIR sleep, you aren't getting any. And neither are they because they are both waking up a few times anyway. So, first of all, I think your doctor will confirm that, at this age, they do not need to eat during the night - they will make up for it with more food during the day. I think you need to try one method - we used cry it out, but you can do something else if you want. Just embrace the method and do it consistently no matter what. If Luke wakes Olivia, it doesn't really matter, because Olivia is slated to wake up in another hour and then wake Luke, right? Just rub each baby's back, say "Night night, time for sleep, see you in the morning" or whatever phrases you prefer - but say the same thing. Establishing a pattern is essential. Go in less and less often - stretching it out more each time. Even if they holler for 30 minutes, it's really okay - they aren't in trouble and they must learn to self-soothe. It's agonizing, I know, but after 3-4 days of no sleep (which you aren't getting now anyway), it will be done. You will have 2 well-rested babies who get plenty of nutrition during the day, and you will be sane at the end of it. Good luck!
Against all popular breast-feeding rules, I finally started feeding them adult food to get them through the night. When mine were six months old, just breast milk did not get them through the night. By eight months, you desperately need your rest! Try feeding them more substantial food along with breast milk and see how it goes.
Hi S.,
I have 2 1/2 year old twins and remember what you are going through. My daughter was a good sleeper and slept through the night since she was about 6 months old. My son didn't sleep through the night until 9 months. They did share a room (just separated them last week). He was waking up and I was giving him his bottle. I gradually decreased the amount in the bottle and that eventually seemed to have did the trick. Don't know if it was coincidence or not - but that's what seemed to be the trigger. Good luck and It will get better (I'm sure it's been quite a while since you've slept a good 5 hours straight).
Hi sara, I
too am a mom of twin boys. I was very lucky they slept well for me. There was a time that they started to wake up after they had been sleepeing through the night. The advice i had gotten was if they have slept through the night even a few times then they are able to make it w/o eating. It becomes a habit for them to wake to eat. So what my doctor and everyone else said was to let them cry it might take a few nights but it works. It is like torture listening to your babies cry so do it when your husband is around so he can help you through. You'll be surprised that if one is crying the other won't wake up.
Good luck and it does get easier.
I have 12 year old twin girls. At about 10 years....the first born slept through the night for a week straight. I have been told that you need to make night time interaction as undesitable as you can so the child will not try to wake up at night. Go in, change the diaper, tuck them back in...no talking, coooing, snuggling. That is supposed to help break them of waking up.
My issue was...no one told me this then, and I enjoyed the one on one time with my daughter as she took long naps during the day when I got one on one time with her sister.
I helped a mom with twins who had a similar problem a few years ago. Hers were 6 months old and she had not had more than 2 hours of sleep in that time. I am a chiropractor and simply adjusted the babies, which is done with simple finger pressures on little ones. After the first treatment they were sleeping 4 hours at a time. And after 2 or 3 visits, they were sleeping through the night. That mother found that whenever her children were fussy that she could bring them in and a quick adjustment would help the situation. I would suggest finding a family or pediatric chiropractor in your area. I have been treating babies and children for 26 years and sleep problems have usually been cleared pretty rapidly. Modern chiropractic for babies is so gentle that I have had newborns that I picked up from their carrier while they were sleeping, adjusted them and laid them back down and they hadn't even woken up.
Dr. E.
My b/g twins (19 months now) just about were sleeping through the night at 8 months. Although they share a room, I did have to separate them for a few nights (I moved my "worse sleeper" into a pack n play in another room). I stopped feeding them in the middle of the night around 6 months old. A few nights of CIO (I was lucky, in that they really never cried more than 5 or 10 minutes), and then I was able to move them back in the same room. If I did have to go back in, I would not pick them up, just gently rub their backs to soothe them. Ironically, the one who was the worse sleeper, is now a rock-star sleeper- 12 hours straight. And my "better sleeper" now occasionally wakes up once in the middle of the night. They are constantly changing on you, just when you think you get it! I promise, it WILL get better. And you will soon get your sleep back. GOod luck!!
Hi S.. I too am a mom of boy & girl twins. My twins are 2yrs old and we went through the same issue you are at the point right now. My daughter had a severe case of acid reflux that disturbed her sleep and my son was not a good teether. So one would always wake the other up. Ultimately what we had to do was separate them into separate bedrooms for sleeping. It was worked wonders!! There are times where they still wake up sometimes at night, however they do much better in their own rooms. If you have the room in your home to separate them, you might want to consider this option. To this day, they still sleep better separately than together. We were reassured of this, this past weekend while we were away and they slept in the same room. Did not go so well.. Anyhow, it might be something to consider. My twins are together all day long - only exception is nap & nighttime and they are just fine. It might not work for you but something to think about. Also our twins did not sleep through the night entirely until almost 18months old .... hang in there. Times will get better!
Good luck, J.
S., Before I can give you advise, I need to Are they bottle or breastfed...As a postpartum doula I specialize in twins and I continue to help the families through the toddler years (if they request it). You can find my phone number on my website. I would be more than happy to talok with you. My website is www.thefamilydoula.com. S.
Congrats on your babies! I too, have twins-17 months old. They also share a very tiny room and took longer than my oldest to sleep all night. 1-2 times a night doesn't sound bad but when its really 2-4 its terrible.
With very few exceptions, even if one screams, the other sleeps though it. I also took out the monitor as I was jumping up at whimpers---usually they fall back asleep after a minute or 2 of that. They have a white noise maker that helps muffle my enterance into the room. Do your twins put them selves to sleep at their initial bedtime? After they master that skill, it gets easier in the nighttime.
I wish that I had specific advice that worked. We finally got consistancy around 10 months (after the art of standing became less of a sport!)
S.,
I would recommend the book "Sleeping Through the Night" by Jodi Mindell. I love this book.
Good luck,
L. M
I have 18 month old twin girls and had the same problem at 8-9months. It was so bad that even when I went in to sooth the one that was crying, she would continue to scream. I decided to have the pediatrician check her out. He said she was fine and that she was so used to me coming in it was habit. He suggested separating them for a time (we had a spare room) and letting them cry it out. He explained to go in and rub their backs for a minute, no longer, and then leave the room (do not pick them up). If they continue to cry wait 10 min and then go in and rub their backs again (1min and leave). This time wait 20min and repeat, spacing the time you wait to go in longer and longer. It lets them know you are near, but it's not time to be held. I would say it took an hour every night for 4 nights (the ped. said it could take up to a week). Within a week I put the girls back in the same room and they rarely wake each other if one starts crying while the other sleeps. Also make sure you have them on a regular sleep schedule, putting them to bed at the same time for naps and at night. This really made a huge difference with my twins. I hope you get some really good sleep soon. I remember being so sleep deprived at that time that I could barely function. Good luck!
