My daughter, Molly, will be three the 17th of this month. About a year ago she wanted to sit on the potty and did for several days in a row. She even was running around without a diaper on and when she needed to pee she ran to the potty and was almost sucessful in using the potty.(She half peed on the seat half on the floor, but was excited none the less) Then she had an accident in the bath tub one night. My husband was bathing her and freaked out when she pooped in the tub. He grabed her out and quickly cleaned her up and cleaned out the tub. He got too excited and upset about the poop in the tub. She then refused baths for the next week, we finally made her take a bath the whole time she was screaming and upset. After about a month or so of this she settled down and actually started enjoying her bath time again. Now, the last two days after her bath she has climbed up on the toilet and tried to go potty!!!!! She uses up a half roll of toilet paper wiping her butt over and over again, but I let her just because I do not want to discourage any time she tries. This has been such a long time in coming, but she was running around last night while I got my four year olds PJ's on and she was naked. She started to clench up, and I said just sit on the potty. I left the room briefly to hang up a towel, and when I came back she was just standing back up with a little nugget of poop in the potty chair! I was so excited and cheered for her. She got excited too, and after I wiped her up she continued to sit down over and over again(without pottying, but just her even looking at the potty chair without crying has been a huge advance here). My question is now where do I go from here? I do not want to push her too much and scare her away again, but I want to build on her excitement and help her along. What would you do? I asked her a couple more times before bed if she wanted to go potty, which she did not. I asked her this morning if she was going to go pee pee and poo poo again, she said yeah, but then wanted her diaper on. I don't think she is ready to pick out big girl pants yet. We have pull ups, but she does not like them. I'd love to let her run around naked all day as this is the only time she has tried, but I have very conservative neighbors who get really uncomfortable seeing a little girl naked, and it is gorgeous outside and my kids love running in and out all day long. She hates dresses, but thought about putting on a sundress and leaving her bottom naked underneath, but I don't think she'd go for it. My boys were so much easier to train. I'd love any advice you may have. Thanks so much!
Thanks, everyone, for your responses! I think maybe I will take her to Target tonight to look at the big girl pants. If she is interested in them we will buy them. Molly did not want to use the potty at all yet today. I asked her once after changing her if she wanted to use the potty, and she said "no, diaper on!" She did however take the diaper off her cabbage patch kid and put him on the potty chair:) I have a very strong willed little girl so we'll just be patient a while longer. She does like to watch me go and help me flush the toilet now. It's probably not too far off. Thanks for all your advice.
Have you tried training pants? They absorb more than big girl pants, and it would feel more like being naked than a diaper. Plus their a lot cheaper.
Hi L.
Your daughter may find that she likes to wear a dress so she go potty easier. My method of potty training was when they show intrest to let them run naked for a few days and they were potty trained very quickly. Mine both trained in the winter though. In my opion if you want to potty train you need to lose the diapers and pull ups and let know how unfun it is to have accident. Good Luck in this wonderful stage of parenting. :)T.
I am going through the same thing with my daughter. I put her on the potty when I think she needs to go. I try to keep a routine but sometimes it's just a huge battle and I never win. Sometimes she goes but most of the times she doesn't. She has some interest in the potty but that's really how far it goes. When she does go, we get all excited and so does she. How did you potty train your boys?
Your husband's response was very unfortunate, but we all make mistakes. I made a big one with one of my boys over potty training and was afraid I ruined him for life, but he has turned out just fine. Kids are pretty flexible and one event shouldn't scar her for life. She probably will catch one pretty quickly now and you might be able to use the draw to outdoors as a reward for success. It would be a big reward for success to be able to go outside.
I have a friend that did exactly what you thought about doing. Her daughter would always have an accident as long as there was something on her backside. She would have an accident in her diaper or her underwear, but when she didn't have them on she would go, so my friend put a dress on her and left the underwear off. She said it worked like magic. We potty trained our daughter in the winter, so we did let her run around naked quite a bit, but we were inside. It did work. Good luck!
L.,
Have you consdered letting your daughter be naked under a dress? Your conservative neighbors likely won't know if she's naked under the dress, while she'll feel the mess,and then can clean it up (with a lot of love and encouragement)
Also, Has she seen you use the toilet? Perhaps if you demonstrate and verbalize a play by play (so to speak) to emphasize the normalcy and great advantage of the toilet she'll gain more confidence.
Good luck!
Your daughter now equates pooping with your husband's anger... Has your husband apologized to her for "freaking out"? It is going to be hard for the mom to make up for the mistakes of dad. He isn't suffering the consequences - she is.
I would suggest that your husband sit down with Molly every day for a week and retell the story of her pooping in the tub and him freaking out. He will have to apologize for every part of the story that she agrees was upsetting. She will probably cry through some of the retelling, but that's OK. She is crying on the inside already - these are tears that will just be coming OUT.
Each time he tells it, he himself will get more and more clear about how hard the experience was for her and will find more of it to apologize for:
"Remember how you stood outside the tub, cold and shaking while daddy freaked out? Wow, I'm sorry, that must have been really scary... were you scared? I'm so sorry I scared you!"
Parents make the biggest mistake when big events like this happen and they act like everything will return to normal the next day. Without apologizing to the child and letting her know that you will NEVER do anything like that again, she will carry it around her whole life (without knowing it).
At the end of their story time, he needs to tell her: "I love you, even when I'm mad at you." and "I love you even when you are pooping."
Little girls are not harder to train than boys. They are, sometimes, more sensitive though. As you and your husband can see, getting angry at a girl about something she cannot control will set her back emotionally.
It's time to realize that Molly is a sensitive little girl and needs anger toward her to be justified. She will also probably always need to know that she is loved even when those around her are angry.
L., if your husband is unwilling to sit down with Molly to retell this story, you should do it. She needs to resolve her fears in order to move forward in a healthy way. You can help, although HE would be the best remedy.
My boyfriends daughter Onna, turned 3 back in November, and she is really good with potty training. I know what you mean about running around Naked, and it irritates me when Will(her dad) lets her do so. But its his kid so I cant really dictate it. Sometimes we let her run around in underwear, or just a shirt but she has a habit of sitting on tables(*gag*) with her bare butt. Try the dress idea! It will make it easier, but make sure she pulls it up high enough!
I think just putting a shirt on her without underwear would be just fine. Maybe if it isn't a dress it would go over easier with her. Maybe even one of her big brother's shirts that way it is long enough where she is covered but it is still open enough where maybe she'll use the potty. I have read that it is a good way to get them potty trained! Good Luck :)
I have the same deal with my son he's a little bit over 2 and me and his dad ask him every 2 ta 3 hours if he has to potty he says yes or no but when we do put him on the pootty he makes us sit on the big potty while hes on his potty its kindof funny
I don't know that I have advise on Potty trainng but your comment on selling MK caught my eye....I am a consultant also...wondering how active you are and if you have any thoughts you could share on your MK experience. I am toying with becoming more active again.....
Thanks
M. Sether
I say go ahead and get her into the big girl underwear, something she likes (princess, etc) and just use a pull-up at night for alittle while. I'm training my 2.5 y/o boy and he is loving his underwear now and not wanting a diaper. We still have the occasional accident, but that's part of it. Keep asking her if she wants to go, but also put her on the potty every hour or so. If she really fights it, then don't force her, but try and 'talk her into it'. I always have something nice for my son to either play with, drink or read a book when we were first starting out. And because poo was really hard for him, I told him we would have a party if he went in the potty. It's working - we're doing it almost 3 weeks now and he is starting to tell me when he has to go. It's hard going at first, I was exhausted with it, but I really think you have to stick with it. Your daughter is definitely ready. Just handle her with care (and your husband) so that she feels proud of her accomplishments. Good Luck!
My daughter will be 3 in November. We have been potty training for a long time now. We found that she did better in big girl panties. We bought her ones with Dora and My Little Ponies on them. We kept telling her that she didn't want to get them diry. She has done really well. Right now she only poops in her panties about half the time. Hope this helps.
I have been a Toddler teacher for over 17 years and faced amny challenges with potty training! The most important thing is to NOT stress out with her. Picking outbig girl panties may be an incentive - some children get really excited with all the fun choices! Sticker charts, an m&m for trying. As for the conservative neighbors..if she is wearing a sundress and is covered (unless it flips up) I would try that route while home in your backyard - if someones sees "Ooops! she must have taken her panties off" (my daughter actually did this one time and I didn't discover it until at a work picnic and she was squatting in a sandbox!). Just not putting a diaper on under her shorts when your in theyard may help too because she will feel it going down her leg and in her clothes. Hang in there! She will eventually get!:)
She is ready for big girl panties if she can pull them down and up herself. She knows when she needs to go potty by the sounds of it, now it is just keeping it going. Ask her ever so often until she goes, then she will be fine for a few hours. Use the stickers on a chart, all girls loves stickers. With summer, you might try two piece swimming suits. Now days I wouldn't let my child run around naked outside, not because of the neighbors but because you never know if someone who will see her is a child molester. There was a guy two doors down from us who seemed so nice and decent and all the time was molesting his daughters. No one knew until the youngest finally told someone. So even if you do know your neighbors, you might not know them that well. If she is in the house and runs naked, nothing wrong with that.
About Dad's reaction, it probably did scare her but I am sure if she is back to enjoying the bath and not worrying about pooping in the tub again, she is past it. To bring it up again could backfire on you with her remembering it and being worried about pooping in the tub again. If she brings it up on her own, then have dad talk to her and explain why he acted the way he did and that she did nothing wrong, just that she needs to poop in the toilet and not in the tub since that is yucky.
