Advice on Toddler Hitting -

What do you mean "we" tell her? Can't daddy speak for himself?

Mom, this is something daddy should handle all by his little self. He doesn't need mommy to back him up when dealing with someone 1/4 his size.

Daddy, all by himself, should hold her hands when he hits him, and say, "no hit, hitting hurts." And that's it. And he keeps doing that until this phase (and it is a phase) passes. She's not even 2 yet.

You should not be involved at all, and she doesn't need time outs for something that happened at daycare.

Moms often micromanage their husbands' handling of the kids, and it is bad for a dad's relationship with his child (and his wife) when mom never lets him deal with things on his own, but always has to put her two cents in.

Two suggestions:
1) At this age, transitions are very hard for kids. When your husband arrives at daycare, he should say, "Susie, in 5 minutes we will go home. Start saying goodbye to your friends." (And then a quick reminder at 2 minutes.) When the 5 minutes are up (this should give your husband enough time to pick up little Susie's things and sign her out), he says, "Okay, Susie, the 5 minutes are up! It's time to go!" And then he walks out the door. That 5 minute warning will give her enough time to pull herself together and make the transition between playing with friends and going home. Sudden transitions can be very frustrating to a child this age; it makes them feel like they have zero control in their world, and someone is just swooping in and making things happen that the little person didn't know were going to happen.

2) If she hits, Daddy makes the whole world come to a screeching halt, however he wants to do that. My husband is a big Italian guy, very loud under normal circumstances. But when one of our kids has done something really bad? Oh man, all hell breaks loose. He is LOUD. Gets right down to their level and just reads them the riot act. And believe me, the child definitely thinks twice before performing that action again! Is that the way I'd handle it myself? No. But at that moment, he's the one interacting with the child, not me. So... Daddy is in charge of what happens there.

A final note: at this age, kids have no concept of "When we get home, you're having a time-out!" Pretty much, the discipline needs to happen then and there, or it doesn't make any sense to the child. So if she hits him, he needs to handle it right then, swiftly and memorably, so she realizes that's not something she wants to do, ever again.

How about using distraction? Can daddy say," I have a surprise for you in the car, wanna come see what it is?" And then have a special snack? I always find special snacks around this age very useful for transitions. The key is going to be prevention, so I'd figure out something along these lines if it's a transition issue.

When my son reached that age, I literally always just carried around gummy treats. Whenever I could sense a massive tantrum over leaving a place, I'd ask him if he wanted to go to the car for gummies. Since this was the only time he ever got gummies, he would always be excited to leave.

Stickers might also work. Buy a collection of different ones and offer them up?

One thing he might consider is to come into the class, say hi to her and then just wait for her to get ready to leave. If they are closing, the teacher will force the exit anyway. If he picks her up before closing, have him just hang out and start talking about what exciting things are going to happen later like dinner, swimming, playing, reading or whatever y'all do. She'll hear that and be ready to leave on her own.

My kiddo has a certain routine she likes to go through before we leave and rushing it just irritates me and does absolutely nothing to speed her up so I just talk to the other kids, teachers, watch her run around and within a couple minutes she grabs her pack and heads to the door without me. Good luck!

You are correct. She does not have all of the words to express that she is frustrated, disappointed about leaving and transitioning.

Continues to do as you are doing.. Do not give her too much attention, or she will use it to get attention.. When you are home, you can tell her, "No hitting, soft and gentle touches." or "Ouch, hitting hurts" (give her a sad face), or You can tell her the "Hands Are Not for Hitting" and then turn around and walk away. Only give one response each time.

Totally normal at this point. She will need to be given the words for a little while still

"We will see your friends tomorrow", Or "I know you are disappointed, but it is time to go home! "