Anxiety in Crowds?

Yes, my daughter did the same thing and she was fine as she got older-better and better and by 3 she was totally fine and now is almost a social butterfly. Don't worry-some babies I think are more sensitive to commotion than others and that is normal. My baby boy is different, goes with the flow. But it's just different personalities-normal, don't worry! Good luck.

It took ME a long time to let people (other than family) hold my babies. I wouldn't let strangers ever hold them. It just didn't feel right. The only time I did was with my second I was @ a fair and needed to tend to my oldest and an EMT lady held my 6 month old while I settled him down since he was hurt. Kids get vibes too and like adults get uncomfortable in certain situations. The only way they can tell us is to yell it out.

My daughter was the same way. She eventually grew out of it and had people melting her in chubby hands. I really don't remember when it got better. I just remember having to take her out of the situation. At a Hallowween party at my brother's-in-law house, we hung out in a dark room to try to unstimulate her. I know this doesn't help...but it will get better. Nothing lasts forever...

My oldest of 3 didn't like to go in public (especially restaurants) for 2 years. The other 2 did not have a problem. Maybe a personality thing? To this day she sits back and observes people before approaching, etc yet travels the world volunteering as a nurse for children. Stay close to home and familiar people and nurture their sense of security until they are ready to let go. We all have our own pace.

If you notice her getting scared, don't pass her around, hold her comforting, and say soothing look here is our friend/relative ---- and maybe give that person a hug to show her it is o.k., but still don't let go of her, and I think later she will get over being so scared, and explain to the people so they won't think you don't want them to be able to hold her. But it sounds like she really is scared of a bunch of people that are taking her, and she is too young to know she will be passed back to you.

My now 13 year old was exactly the same way, and to this day she is not overly fond of crowds. When she was three months old, we were at a christening party and she was so unhappy in the crowded banquet room. I finally took her to a private, quiet area and she was as happy as can be.

She will more or less outgrow it as her coping mechanisms kick in. As my daughter got older she learned to live with it although, as I mentioned, to this day she's not fond big crowds -- she always gets a little ansy.

Babies are different just like big people. Sounds like you have one who gets over stimulated more easily than some others. The best thing to do is take this into consideration and keep the socializing toned down for her sake. With a more gradual approach, she may eventually be able to tolerate more, but there is no reason to push it and make her (and you) miserable. Friends and family don't really need to handle a baby to appreciate how beautiful she is.

It's very normal, and like other posters have said, it's because she's being overstimulated. I would also say that it could be a combination of overstimulation and being tired. Babies will scream and cry and have a hard time settling back down if they are overtired. So, if you're out and about at times when she needs to sleep, plus there are a lot of people around that she's being passed around to, it's a bad combination. Starting at about 4 months is when we had to plan our outings and errand running around her naps (naps around 9 am, 1 pm, and 4 pm).
J.

I didn't read you other responses but to be honest, this is normal. She is overstimulated and it wears her out and in turn she doesn't know how to tell you except to cry. It will stop and my only advice is to just watch for cues and let everyone look but not touch kind of thing. HTH

This isn't anxiety attacks. It's over stimulation and irritation. When babies get overstimulated, watch out! It's the banshy attack. They don't have any other way of saying enough is enough. When this happens they frequently have trouble calming down enough to sleep. As for the passing at the parties, look at it from her perspective would you want to be passed from stranger to stranger in a loud overcrowded room? Where you can't keep an eye out for your one protector?

She is telling you she doesn't like strangers and that you need to stop passing her to strangers and people that don't need to be holding her. She is probably scared anytime she is in a crowd that that is what is going to happen. I never let strange people hold my babies. I would think that if she is crying and doing all that than you need to think about why you are continueing to expose her to things or situations that obviously stress her out or scare her. She is expecting you to keep her safe and to protect her from those experiences until she can handle them herself. What are you teaching her? That scaring her is ok? That you won't help her unless she has a meltdown. I think if your child is deciding enough is enough than you need to respect her boundaries and recognize she is truly scared for what ever reason. Her behavior is normal for her age anyways. I also will think that by you continueing to take her to places that are crowded or passing her to strangers that make her anxious you are perpetuating the problem. By showing her that you aren't sensitive to her needs or expecting things from her that she doesn't know how to do.
If handled correctly I would think that it will stop when she is older. IF you continue to put her in those situations I can see her being a clingy child and never outgoing. Think about it from her perspective. She is only 4 months old and recognizes faces and voices and suddenly she is being held by some stranger that is unfamiliar and where is my mom? where are all the people that I know? When will they be back? She has no concept of these people being safe or not. All she knows is they are strangers and should not be holding her and doesn't know when or if she will see a familiar face again. She is voicing her displeasure and fear of the situation. If she thinks everytime she sees a crowd she will be acosted by strangers, than she has a right to be scared and forcing her to be in crowds and with people she doesn't want you are re-inforcing her fear. As for the crowds I think that with time and loving reassurance that you won't be giving her away and not coming back she may out grow it. But I think it will take some work. And stop handing her over to people that are strangers. They are not more important than your precious little girl. And that includes relatives that she thinks are strangers. She doesn't know the difference. And any adult that is a parent should understand. Heck, I have a one year old sister that sees me every week that won't even come to me. I play with her and when she is done she is done. I was even there when she was delivered. I send her over to mom when she is at the done point because I don't want her to be traumatized about being around me, that it is only a scary thing when she sees me. But she is getting better at her own pace.
Good luck,
L.

Babies give cues of their discomfort before they freak out. Be sure you are in tune with her earlier cues. This will help avoid the freakout.

Hi C.,
Yes it will stop. My 2yr son was the same way. He did not like to be in crownds, he did not like to ride in the car when he was having one of his spells, but he did grow out of them. He was around a year old when he stoped. I hope for you that it does not last that long for you. Hang in there it will get better.
Go luck D.

We had a similar issue when my son was about that age. He was great up to a point and would then lose it and scream for over an hour. I read where you should hold him tightly when you walk into a new place, i.e. a party, and that will provide him some level of comfort. It will pass but I limited his interaction to a lot of people for a while and either my husband or I held him.

This is totally normal. There is just too much stimulation in crowds for some kids. It's typically the kids that are more sensitive and actually more observant that react that way - they're trying to take everything in and it's just too much. My younger son was that way sometimes and I'm that way myself sometimes - I no longer cry or scream - although I want to do the latter sometimes, but I definitely want out of there and that's just what your daughter is telling you. So, it may or may not stop when she's older. You just need to start watching her more closely for cues and then leave before she reaches her threshold. As she gets older, you can talk about it. So, it will likely become less of an issue as time goes by, but when she gets to be 2 or 3, the reactions to these situations might get very intense, so again, you need to watch her for cues.

Its about being overly stimulated. When your daughter gets too much stimulation she gets upset. Very very common. All you can really do is respect her and take her to a calm place like a bathroom and let her calm down a bit( as soon as she starts to get upset).
good luck