Are There Really "Not Enough Hours in the Day to Get It All Done?"

Since I had a child it seems that way. His schedule and needs impose restrictions on how I can use my time. This makes me less efficient.

I think it's just exaggeration for the sake of emphasis.

Like gas doesn't REALLY cost an arm and a leg.

And your husband doesn't REALLY take forever in the bathroom.

And I don't REALLY spend ALL DAY on Mamapedia.

Ok, well, maybe the last one not so much.

:)

I'm not sure, but if you say that loud enough Karma is liable to pay you a visit. And we all know what she's like.

Get back to me when you have four kids! :p Oh and they are in school with sports and homework...random projects....scouts.

One toddler, lord I could get it all done with both hands tied behind my back.

Personally, I had it all done last year.

Wait, that's not a very good answer.

Personally, I still haven't finished breakfast yet! :)

I think people just exagerate, on BOTH sides.

And at the end of the day, who cares if other people are done or not? Me and my family would love a few more hours every day. Damn physics!
:)

Of course you can get it all done! You have only one small child, lol!

Everyone has different levels of efficiency, different tolerances, outside responsibilities, extra help, help from their spouses, kids with various levels of need, different standards of cleanliness, etc. Why does it matter what other moms do in their homes? I can't keep my house as clean as my sister does (she has 2 kids and a very available & helpful husband to my 3 kids, never home husband). I do the best I can and am happy with that.

I was actually a MUCH better housekeeper when I was a working mom. Now that I am staying home, the kids are here for many more hours each day and the house just gets a LOT messier, and I don't have a 1 hr lunch break to run my errands.

I think my stuff keeps me from getting it all done-- hence my aforementioned desire to minimize. There's too many clothes to wash, iron and put away. Too many knick knacks to dust. Too many rooms to clean. There's too much inside the house to organize or keep organized which hinders me from either getting outside to enjoy nature or prevents me from relaxing whilst inside. When I get it all done I either don't have time to spare or am too worn to truly enjoy myself. That's why I'm making a huge downsize in the stuff I own. I'm not spending the rest of my life taking care of "things". I want to focus on people. :)

ETA after reading other answers: I do feel that having several children is a factor I have 4 kids ages 9, 7, 2 and 2. We have no familial support. Working outside the home hindered the time I was able to spend with them (plus childcare issues) so fortunately I was able to stop that. So having a bunch of "carp" to care for in addition to my family does not work for me.

ETA after reading more answers, specifically answer#17: First of all F. B., I hope you did not feel that my answer was to pick on you. It was not. At all. If you got that feeling from me, I apologize because that was not my intent.

Secondly, contrary to what #17 is saying, the number of children DOES have a lot to do with how much time it takes to accomplish the necessary things. I don't see how she could think it does not. It's simple math really. We can plan/organize and "boundarize" all day, but life laughs at our plans along with a couple of toddlers who want things their way.

Pardon me for pulling a Clinton, but it depends on what your definition of "ALL" is.

All you want or need out of a day may be differant than all I want or need out of a day. I make it work by juggling and prioritizing, but if there were more hours in the da....
, I'd have more one on one time with my man.
I'd have more time with my kids.
I'd stay and do a little extra work at the office to get a head of the game.
My house would be company ready at all times.
I'd read more,
craft more,
travel more,
garden more,
cook more,
make love more,
nap more,
take a class,
etc

There are not enough hours in the day to do everything and do it properly. There is plenty of time to do enough to get by. Is getting by enough? Only you can answer that for yourself.

I always have everything done so I can sit and eat my bon bon's.... ha ha just kidding.
I would not want more hours in the day then I will end up finding more to do or my daughter and hubby would have more time to make a mess. It’s just a never ending cycle.

I would like to find a little motivation to get some things done. My garage is a disaster area and I just do not have the motivation to get out there and organize it and it really needs it.

I would love to reorganize my closets, paint the cabinets, repaint the house, clean the baseboards, and some other things. During the week I am up at 5, leave and drop the kids off at 6:30, get to work at 7:30, get back home at 5, make dinner, sit down with my husband and two kids and eat dinner, clean up the kitchen, clean up the table, spend some actual time with the family, help with baths, get the kids to bed......no, those things I'd 'love' to do don't get done because I am exhausted. Oh, and the weekends?, laundry and actually picking up clutter, vaccuuming, shopping for groceries, putting laundry away.

It's Murphy's Law.

There are either too many hours in the day or too few :)

Generally, there are too few. There are sooooooooooo many wondrous and amazing things to do! My ideal day would be about 36 hours long. I think I MIGHT get to do everything I want to in a 36 hour day. Maybe. Perhaps.

Actually, before kids, and post military, I did contract work. 24/7 work for shortish periods, and then quite a bit of time off. I LOVED that schedule, because I really did stay up 36 hours in a stretch. When I was working, I was WORKING, and when I wasn't working? Ah. Pura Vida.

There is no physical way only being awake 20 hours that I can do everything I WANT to in a day.

I think that it's funny people are equating not having enough time with 'inefficiency'. It's physically impossible to change 5 miles into a shorter distance. Or 100 pages into 10. Or, or, or. If I WANT to spend 4 hours doing something, and I only have half an hour, then I don't have enough time. The whole 'priorities' thing wouldn't be a issue.

As far as low sights? If you're happy with your life, screw everyone else, and be happy.

Well, I'm disappointed to see this has turned into another forum where mama's turn on each other in a who has it easier lecture.

# of kids has NOTHING to do with organizational skills or the ability to set boundaries.
Working at home or outside the home has NOTHING to do with how clean your house is or isn't.

The actual motto is probably something like, "if you want something to be done that you don't want to do.... ask a sucker".

I had a hard time getting things done, until I learned to set boundaries around what makes me and my family happy and well -cared for..... Boundaries based on MY value system, which is different than yours or yours or his or hers or theirs. And that means different things to different people. What I value is not what you value, so we will make different judgements about how we spend our time and what we are willing to "give up" or "take on" in order to have a certain standard.

People who feel the need to "live up to an ideal" are usually the people who can't get it all done. Or people who have "accepted" more than they should - for whatever reason... their spouse has an unrealistic expectation, they have a child with special needs and no support, they have no time-management skills, They never learned how to say no, they like to feel "needed", they have settled into being the "victim".

Have you set your sights too low? I don't know. I can't answer that. Only YOU can answer that.

Let's take dinner, as an example. You might make everything from scratch, laboring over a stove and in the kitchen for 3 hours every day to give your family the best ingredients and a well balanced meal. You might have PBJ 3 nights a week, on the run to soccer lessons. You might eat out every night. Each scenario gives you a different amount of time. Did you make the right choice? That's up to you. Well, and the snooping busy bodies who want to make themselves feel better about their lives by telling you what they think of how you live yours. whatever. The MISTAKE is when you try to spend 3 hours you don't have laboring in the kitchen when you have ALSO chosen to enroll your kid(s) in 3 extra curicular activities each week. At some point you have to make a choice about which is more important. Because you can't have it all.........

I could write a book. But I won't. My problem is exactly what you wrote "if you need something done, ask a busy person to do it." Plus the fact that if I don't do it, no one else will step up.

I simply take too much on and then must follow through or guilt takes over for not following through. I have recently learned the word "no". Still very difficult. I get 2 hours on Wednesday night just for myself...what do I do with it? I play volleyball with my friends. It's my time set aside just for me.

With a daughter in competitive soccer(footskills almost everyday practice two days a week, weekends have 1-3 games), and I'm the Girl Scout Leader (and mentor to others in GS), work full time. Some nights I don't get home until 8...then its hurry up get the kids in the bath, read a book to them, do the dishes, do the laundry...before I know it I'm too tired for spare time. I honestly don't know how I do it, I just do. How you have time to spare baffles me. I must get 8 hours of sleep or I'm absolutely no good.

However, I did have lots of spare time before my daughter started school and both kids were under school age. Their life now consumes mine, literally.

Different goals, different hobbies, different people, different houses, different families, different jobs, different expectations.

I disagree with Wicker. I don't see anyone on here turning on anyone or lecturing. I see moms on here explaining what they do. She is the only one that has accused anyone of anything so far. I see absolutely no competition. What I see are interesting lives, "busy" or not.

There are always things to get done.
But everyone has a different idea... of when "all done" is.
Then, there is tomorrow... and that has other things to get done too.
And then next week.
The thing is, there is always things to get done.
It is not finite.
And everyone has different lives and different quantities of kids in their home, and activities, and schedules etc.

I get things done everyday to completion. What I have to.
But there is always tomorrow.
And it is ongoing.

Whether or not something gets done, is up to you.
It has nothing to do with being "unaccomplished" or better or worse than another.

And, some people are single parents. Some are 2 parent households. Some have parents/kids/and others in the home too.
Like me: I have 2 kids, a Husband and a Mom that lives with us.
Each home, has different components and issues.
And more people in the home means more to get done and different routines.
Each day.

Plus, when kids are in school, that is more, to get done. And a schedule to maintain too. Not just yours.

Oh, the days when I only had one child....
Now I always have 6 kids in my house, too many rooms to clean, gymnastics, soccer practice, soccer games, church, working at church, grocery shopping, dr. appts................

Eh...I have one kid, and YES there are enough hours in the day. There better be, I only have one!! (And, he's an easy one. )Add another to the mix, and my head would explode. (And, then people with more then that? I don't know how that even works!!) There's are many reasons we're only having one, and this is one of them. Honestly...most people with just one should have no problem getting everything done, with time to spare.

I read this article on how our society values being busy and if you aren't it is (or can be) assumed that you are doing nothing - not simply good an knowing how to manage tasks and what you commit to. I believe the article also pointed to the feeling of self-importance.
Saying no is key and not feeling like you have to be busy to be important. . .Often times my personal "not enough hours" occurs when something outside of my well-orchestrated calendar planning occurs (have to stay late at work, a big deadline is approaching and I get all freaky about it) that throws off the schedule so much that I just have an overwhelming feeling of discord. Nothing wrong with setting sites on what you can attain in a day and NOT FEELING BAD if it doesn't happen. If it isn't mission critical (hello, dust bunnies when my MIL visit is not a huge issue in the grand scheme of life) let it go - right:)
So that is what I think and what my triggers are.

My theory is that some people are really energized by checking stuff off their list.

Then there are those like me, who write the to-do list but always seem to find something more fascinating or interesting to do. Not to mention, checking things off doesn't really satisfy me. I think "what's the big deal?" I keep waiting for this rush of contentment that never arrives. So . . . I frequently feel I don't have enough time for chores (cough cough). But I always manage to find time to read and write LOL!

Compare and contrast to my husband who - I swear - gets some sort of physical gratification from getting things done. These are the people who do in fact have enough hours in the day (but would still like more).

I guess it takes all kinds to make this world go 'round.

When it was just my husband, myself, our then 1 toddler and our 2 cats I could get everything done. We could get anywhere early enough in the day to enjoy a full day of something. Things were clean. Laundry didn't take ages. There weren't many dishes to wash. The floor was vaccumed all the time.
But fast forward 11ish years. It's now my husband, myself, our 3 kids ages 11,8 & nearly 3, and 4 cats. I home school all 3 kids. Laundry takes forever because there's more of it and I can fit less of it per load as it's all gotten much bigger. We go through more dishes per meal and snacks.
I can not and will not give up sleep in order to get things done. I get even less done if I am sleep deprived. It takes ages to get everyone up, showered, dressed, packed up etc to get anywhere. Since we are all in the house all the time there is more time for everyone to make messes.
I can't remember the last book I finished reading. I don't have time for that anymore. The knitting project I have is taking a long time becuase I don't have time to work on it like I used to.
There really isn't enough waking hours to get half the things done I want to, and it's pushing it to get the things done that I need to.

I think it depends on the person. I am perfectly content going to bed wiht dirty dishes in the sink, laundry in the dryer, etc. But I have mom friends who would never dream of doing that! Even if they have a party that goes till 11pm, they stay up and clean up everything so the house is perfect in the morning. But then there's the flipside, their houses always look nice and "company ready". I, on the other hand, have a freakin' panic attack if someone stops by unannounced. I'm a perfectionist so I don't clean everyday, but when I do I want the place top to bottom sparkling clean.

I also think it depends on how many kids you have. I have three kids and two dogs. I could vacuum twice a day and there would still be crumbs and dog hair. My sister lives by herself in a tiny place in the city and it's always a mess. I don't understand how hard it could possibly be to clean up and organize for only one person!!

I don't think there's enough hours in the day to do everything that needs to/should be done AND everything you want to get done (all the fun stuff). But I've found if I chill out on the TV and computer, I can actually get a ton done in a day!

I definitely think there are some people that no matter what or how little is on their plate, they are perpetually behind and complaining there's not enough time. I work full time too and have 2 kids and a large dog and my husband works sometimes crazy hours yet our house is very orderly, neat, I'm not "drowning" etc while I know people with less on their plates who are constant disasters. Same time, obviously more kids makes more work as does a large house vs an apt. Houses are huge time sucks.

If my kids are clean, fed and in bed at a reasonable hour I am pretty happy with how my day ends :)

I work full-time and my husband has opposite days off and works weird, crazy hours. We do our best, just like everyone else, to "get it all done". I have priorities that do get done every day (feeding my family, feeding the animals, spending some quality time together, homework, dirty dishes, baths), but some things have to wait. We do what works for us, as a family. Do I sometimes wish there were more hours in a day? Heck ya! But then there are other days where I do feel like I have everything done then I can sit back and relax. It all works out in the end.

Depends on what you DO at home, and outside of the home I would have to say. (it also depends on what "done" means to you) You work full time. I have found that if you aren't home, then you can't make a mess to clean up!

I'm a SAHM of two kids and also have two in school. We do crafts, "home-school". projects and our home is in need of repair -ongoing repairs. We own it, it is a beautiful house, great potential, but it was a foreclosure... lots to do there.

We have a lot of stuff with four kids and there's constant organization needed. We get at least 4 papers a day per child from school. It is crazy. I also volunteer at school and volunteer for girl scouts.

I'm a painter, my husband is a musician. Meaning, we both "work at home" and it isn't on a computer! Therefore, more stuff. Our house is fun and full of personal touches and character. I worked as a nanny in a house where... it was big and open and REALLY had no personality, and YES it was very easy to maintain and plenty too much time left over after. They bought it brand new and have plenty of boring blank space all over the place. (BTW, this is just my opinion, I know plenty of people where this kind of house would be ideal. Also, I really like that family- they are awesome. This isn't a jab at them...Just their house. LOL)

Another thing to mention... we have had ZERO hired workers in our house. We do all the repairs, gardening, cleaning, fixing... for example, we have entirely re-done our kitchen on our own via how-to videos on youtube. installed walls, new flooring all new appliances, new cabinets... everything.

I hate clutter, so I'm always looking to downsize and organize. But the 6 of us get a lot of stuff, and spending time with them and doing projects and volunteering is generally where my day-time goes. My husband works on the weekend, so I use that for cleaning and I also use evenings for cleaning. After the kids go to bed.

i also help out other people, and I'm not the type of mom that has "me time". I'm generally okay with that. I like getting stuff accomplished fo my family and friends. I also cook EVERY MEAL. So, there's ALWAYS dishes, and you are talking about at least 6 people. I also cook for my side of the family that lives near by, so that makes 9 people.

I love my life. I love my family. I LOVE helping others. I'm always busy. And yes, ask me if you want anything done.

That being said, our house is generally nice and orderly and clean. The things I need to "get to" are things that I know of, and I usually keep those projects in the back of my mind... I still end up doing them, but there's always something to replace it... like, I have so many paintings I want to do for others, and then there's the paintings I need to get to to hopefully sell:)

The days are long enough to get enough done. Not all of it... just "enough."

I wish there was more time on some days! I am an overachiever and have high expectations. I am a SAHM of 3 and I never cross everything off my to-do list. The last things to get done are usually 'optional' or things for me. Last week I really wanted to go get a massage. But, I could not get it worked out with my babysitter and salon. Oh, well...maybe this week.

Last night we had swimming and t-ball. It was a beautiful night to take a walk--which we LOVE to do--but, there were "not enough hours in the day". My husband and oldest got home from swimming at 7:15 and I was already putting the two little ones to bed (I got home at 6:45 with middle child from swimming).

I agree with Wickerparkgirl - it's all a matter of what your family dynamics are, and those dynamics are only set by you and your husband. If you guys are happy then that is what matters. Some days I feel like there are not enough hours, but in reality it is just because our family is always on the go it seems. My husband is in the Army, and we live 2.5 hours from my family in my hometown. I am CONSTANTLY going back and forth, and never feel like we are totally organized and "together" at home. I'm okay with that though as my kids are 1.5 and 3.5, and feel that what they get from being in both places is well worth it. It doesn't help we have moved 4 times in less than 3 years either. lol I've just come to terms with the fact that we are never going to feel "settled" or well organized until my husband is out of the Army in 6 years, we have our own home instead of rent, and are not traveling and moving all the time. If we didn't have that upheaval in our lives then I would feel like there was enough time in the day. Right now I feel like there isn't sometimes, but our circumstances are extenuating I think.

I think it has to do with what one's priorities are, and how their kids are doing within any given day.

I can say this: things go faster when I can focus on the task without my son's presence. On preschool mornings, I'm amazed that it only takes 10 minutes to do the same pile of dishes it took forty minutes to do the day before when Kiddo was home. I also know that I have more 'brain space' and focus when I haven't had a whole day of "why? why?why?" and "mama, look at". On those days, I have the energy to work longer into the evening.

No, I don't get it 'all' done, but I do prioritize so that I can get most of it done, and get done what is most important/critical while also balancing my own needs and what my family needs.

Could I suggest, perhaps, that you are good at prioritizing and also good at letting go of what isn't pressing, and so you feel like you are getting it all done and not sweating it too much? I think this sort of attitude gives us a comfortable perception of getting it done in a livable way.

I think we are all in different places of our lives at different times. Our kids and families all have differing levels of need. Every day is another attempt to find balance in what we do for ourselves, for others, for the home. What do I hope to achieve that is left unaccomplished? Mostly the big projects that involve a week-or-more time commitment, like refinishing and repainting the kitchen and hallway walls, or scraping the paint off the exterior of the house, or right now... I should be making a grocery/packing list for a trip we leave on this Thursday. (But I am prioritizing some idle time right now, because once Kiddo comes home, my little helper and I have work to do!)

I'm a single mom with two jobs, so cooking, cleaning and recreation usually get a back seat. So nope, not enough hours in the day. Only enough to work, feed baby, baby bath, take a shower, put baby to bed, and relax for MAYBE 30 mins till I go to sleep. If I decide to clean or go do something, then sleep and relaxation is compromised.

It just depends on the struckture of your family. You have a toddler you are probably not going to be running your toddler here and there as they proably don't have extra cariculare activieitys.
Right now with my husband not working which hopfully soon will change I have more help at the moment but still going going going. My youngest has gymnastics twice a week for two hours a night which next year will change to three nights a week three hours a night as he will be competing. Then there is my oldest that we have to run back and forth to band stuff, his piano lessons and his girlfriends house. I work full time and by the time I get home from running I don't have energy to clean, cook or pretty much do anything else. If I had more hours I could get more sleep. And I don't get enough of that and if I did maybe I could get the house work done that never seems to get done as no one is hardly ever home. I never thought I would be one of those moms that had to run their kids everywhere but I never dreamed I would have such talented kids. Oldest is very gifted in music and would take more lessons for different things if we could. and youngest is gifted in gymnastics and would be competing this year if we could have aforded it.

Wow - some folks here are awfully judgemental. Do I feel like there are enough hours in the day - nope! I can always think of other things that need to get done. My definition of sucess varies depending on the day. Sometimes I am Superwoman at work and am on fire getting stuff done. I rush to get the kids and then its homework/dinner/bath/books/bedtime. I feel like I really accomplished something during the day. Other days, I figure that life is good if homework is done and everyone is fed and clean by the end of the night. I don't think that anyone finds the exact balance 100% of the time. There are times that I have to do extra stuff at work and that means that DH has to step up with the kids. Other times I might have a feverish, vomiting kid and I have to put work on the backburner for the day. The best I hope for is to make the balance "average" out over time.

Frankly, I am my own worst critic. I always hope to get better at things and be a better wife, mother, and employee. If I cannot strive to be better and teach my children to do the same, then really what is the point?

lol. When I first read this thread, I though how arrogant...After reading the rest of the responses, I started feeling different. I'm thinking that the poster may be trying to be sincere and just curious. I would like to see F. B.'s schedule. Maybe it would help me out, but like one poster mentioned about they feel the number of family members, working or not, single mom or not doesn't really matter; I think that can be plausible. I think was does matter the most and causes the difference in the opinions is the environment and how needy the family members are. If you've got family members that can do things by themselves and don't have to worry about general maintenance of your property; sure it might be easier. If you have a hubby that lets you control the roost, sure it might be easier. For me, personally, I don't think there's enough time in the day. I only have 1 child, 1 dog, 1 cat, 1 faithful hubby, 1 turtle, and 1 mother-in-law to take loving care of. We live in an older home with a decent amount of land to take care of, including stay cats someone so graciously dropped off. (Most of the cats are mutes....They can't "meow" like our little indoor queen with her talking up a storm in her little "kitty cat language," which I will admit to taking out some percious time to listen to her whole story like I do with everyone else in the household.) I am a working mom and luckily hubby and work the same hours. Sometimes I feel he doesn't help, but that's because I'm stressed out. He does help. He plants beautiful flowers for me and delicious vegies. He checks the fluids in the cars and does most of the lawn mowing, which I love to do, but my son and him take the mower away from me everytime I try to do it. (They say I look to funny when I try to mow the hilly sections.) Hubby also hangs out the laundry for me. (I try so hard to get up early, so I can beat him to the laundry; but he wakes up just after I do.) My mother-in-law does the breakfast and lunch dishes. I do the painting and there's lots of it. I also do the laundry, clean the house, trim the hedges, help my son with his SAT studies, (Hubby and I help him with his SAT studies together.) do the grocery shopping, take everyone to their doctors'/dentists' appointments, manage the budget, take care of the animals, act as a counselor/psychologist/advisor/stress manager for everyone, hunt for bargains and freebies, occationally volunteer for my son's school, take my mother-in-law shopping and outings when I see her in a grouchy mood, fix just about anything including toys and clothing, review and make suggestions and gush over son's school projects, cook meals and make special breakfasts everyday, (We're big on breakfast, which comes from being a country girl.) clean the cars, check the tire pressure, etc. When something breaks in the house, I research how to fix it and then teach hubby how to fix it. (We work together a lot.) Yep, I need more time; not just to do more stuff, but to just relax and play with my family.

Typical weekday:
5:30AM - get up and get dressed.
5:45AM - clean out the cat litter, put the dog in the dog run and bring him back in, pay bills if I didn't pay them the night before.
6:00AM - fix the lunches, (Everyone takes their own lunch, we can't afford to buy a lunch.)
6:30AM - "Cock-a-doole-doo!" I'm the rooster. Wake everyone up. (Yes, they have an alarm clock, but who pays attention to that?)
6:35AM- make breakfast. (Usually cresent rolls or muffins.)
6:45AM- If they aren't down stairs yet, I go up and act as an "army sargent."
6:50AM- Set out the breakfast.
7:00AM-We all eat together.
7:15AM- Change the garbage bag, clean up the table, brush my teeth.
7:30AM-Warm up the car and scrape windows, if needed.
7:45AM-Drive son to school and everyone else to work.
8:00AM-I'm at work.
4:30PM-End of work shift...Pick up hubby and go home. (Son rode bus home.)
5:00PM-(Lots of traffic in afternoon.) Finally "home, sweet home!" Take dog for a walk, change clothes, and cook.
5:30PM-We all eat together.
6:30PM-Paint (If no painting, take a shower and help son with SAT studying.)
9:00PM/9:30PM-Take a shower if painted; otherwise, exercise, do home volunteer work for son's school, or play with son.
10:00PM-Get son to go to bed, pay bills, relax with cat and dog. (Cats and dogs need owner bonding time too.)
11:00PM-Time for me to go to bed.
Rest of the stuff is done on the weekend.