Okay Ladies, you all gave me wonderful advise on saving money and how to deal with my step daughter. I now need ideas on what all you stay at home moms do during the day in regards to housework. My husband has not said anything but does ask what I have done during the day. So, far I have the laundry caught up, I vaccume, dust, sweep, mop, do dishes, and cook very nice dinners. What other kind of cleaning do all of you do? What kind of schedule do you do them? How often do you dust the base boards, clean out fridge, clean ceiling fans, etc... Just trying to organize my month and days. I have about three hours a day before my kids get up in the morning and an hour to two in the afternoon during nap time. I don't remember what all my mom did because by the time I was a teen she stopped cleaning house and my dad took over (and he kept a clean house but did not do them like a woman would). I would like to get my house looking the best I can so my husband can tell what I have done when he walks in and I am not embarrassed when his family comes over. (Just FYI he did tell me the other day he appreciated having his uniforms in order in the closet and clean, so I know he is noticing some things.)
Lol. I expected some negative responses but I did not mean to give the wrong impression. I want my husband to notice what I have done. Up till three weeks ago I worked full time, commuted 2 1/2 hours, worked part time, and we ate a lot of McDonalds' $1.79 Happy Meals. My husband knows I am not his servant and he knows if he treats me like one I would explode. My husband is a general manager for a big delivery company. He works long hard hours between a couple of warehouses and fills in for drivers. He has never cared how I arranged his clothes in the closet before and in fact made fun of me because I am a little ocd about my side (color coded). He just realized it is easier for him when I do organize his uniforms away from his other clothes. I just wanted ideas on how to keep a nice neat clean house. When it was just me and my son we cleaned every Saturday for about two hours, but now that there is six of us it is a lot of work. A lot of things that have not been cleaned or not as often as they should for almost three years. My son is 18, he does a lot of chores to help but is gone trying to get a job and get into college, my 13 year old step daughter is not with us all the time and well we won't go there, my husband works 10 to 14 hour shifts, so that leaves me with a two year old and a one year old who help by putting their toys and some laundry away. I like having a house that looks nice, during the time my kids are up we are playing (we clean up messes as we go) and around 4:30/5 pm I start dinner and that is their watch Veggie Tale time or art project at the kitchen table or bang on the pots and pan time. Every family member has jobs they do including my husband --- helps with kids when I cook if he is home, helps at bed time, lawn and maintance of house, cleans up messes when they happen if he is there, occassionally his own laundry, especially if I an upset with him. I just wanted to know because I don't have a mother to ask and refuse to ask my mother in law what cleaning could be done and how often. Laundry for me is every other day if not daily, but how often should dusting or dusting of curtains be done. I am not a servant and my husband does help out --- he just does not notice a clean house just when it is dirty.
I have learned a lot from the Flylady...
Http://www.flylady.net
She has a lot of easy to follow schedules for daily, weekly, monthly cleaning.
First of all let me say that you are a stay at home MOM, not a stay at home housekeeper. Your husband CAN and SHOULD help you as well. The house is everyone's responsibility who lives in it and gets it dirty. The person who has the most time, in my opinion, should do most of the work, but that doesn't mean that nobody else does!
So, I vacuum the high traffic areas daily. I wipe down the kitchen daily and as spills occur. I try to keep the dishes clean and out of the sink throughout the day. I try to pick things up as I see them and keep them in place...in my opinion, a neat house sometimes looks clean! :)
I clean baseboards and fans and tops of doors, things like that, once a month. I clean out the fridge on the weekends when I put new groceries in (or as I notice a gross spill). I don't do more than wipe down the shelves that are sort of empty as I refill them with groceries.
I prefer to clean my whole house once a week....takes me about 4 hours, rather than clean it throughout the week.
I wouldn't worry about it....don't be embarrassed. Again, unless you have clumps of hair or crumbs everywhere, most people don't notice things. Keep it neat and people think it's clean.
Is he law enforcement or military? You mentioned uniforms.
It sounds like you do a lot! I hope that your husband mentions what you do and how much he appreciates it rather than mentioning what you don't do.
And I am lucky....my husband was raised by a single mom and totally appreciates what I do and helps, but god help me, if he ever mentioned how he wanted his clothes in the closet and clean....I'd throw them all in a heap and tell him to hire a maid, because that isn't me.
Good luck. You're not Cinderella, your job is not to slave away in all of your free time before everyone wakes up or naps!!! Make sure it's neat, have a cup of tea, and relax. Happy kids? Roof over your head? Full bellies? I would hope your husband can notice those things instead of some cobwebs on the fan!
Oh my gosh, there is so much to do on a daily basisit would be hard to to put it all on here.
I find it easier to pick a room a day for the deep cleaning and the rest of the rooms get a light cleaning. Deep cleaning is walls, light switches, curtains, windows, organizing closets or drawers, cleaning spots on the carpets, cleaning appliances etc. Light cleaning is sweeping, dusting, vaccuming, moping, laundry etc.
Then, there are always bigger projects that need to be done, especially if you have kids. This would be working in the garden, touch up painting on door trim, etc. , cleaning out the basement, attic or garage, going through closets and cabinets and getting rid of stuff you don't use, etc.
Now if you have children, throw in the factor of spending time with them, feeding and changing them, nap time, running after them cleaning up the messes they make, cleaning up their bedrooms.
And, somewhere in there you need to use the bathroom and shower and get dinner started before your husband gets home.
I can tell you from my experience that on most days they do not notice that you spent 4 hours scrubbing out the refridgerator or 3 hours shampooing the carpets. What they do notice is the one day they come home early and you haven't finished the dishes yet or the kids left a book on the livingroom floor.
Try not to take it to heart when you husband asks "what did you do all day?". After being with my husband for 21 years and married to him for 10, and giving birth to 4 children, now I smile and answer him, "probably more than you did"
Sounds like you are doing really great!! I think most husbands don't notice everything we do during the day because on most days the hose looks the same when the leave it and when they come home.
They don't see the tons of toys that get taken out and then put away again. The art projects that mess up the whole kitchen. The 2 hours it took to get the kids to and from the grocery store and hour plus to get the grocery's put away. The mounds of laundry that go round and round through drawers to people to hamper to washer to dryer to drawers again. The hours it takes to pay bills when you are interrupted every five minutes with potty issues, drinks needed, squabbles to break up, etc etc. The trips to the pediatrician with multiple children in tow, sitting on a gross bathroom floor trying to get a urine sample out of a 3 year old that don't have to make pee pee. They don't see it so it doesn't happen. They leave a mostly straight and orderly house and arrive back to a mostly straight and orderly house.
My husband really likes to have very nice and elaborate dinners most nights at 5 out of 7. So, he does the dishes. He is ex-military and actually cleans the kitchen better than I do and he is a bit OCD too. Sense we both want to relax in the evenings. He washes the dishes and I wash the kids and we meet when done for bedtime. Then we have together time, even if we are both on separate computers...lol.
I have used flylady with some sucess. She has great ideas. Good luck!! and HUGS!!
I work full time and go to school full time so if I do not have some sort of organization in my house - everything falls apart...I have also been in your shoes with little ones and staying home.
I have found that a routine is a must with little ones and that is what allows you the time to get some things done. If you are up earlier than everyone else (I know I am!) take that time to sit down and pay bills, do any household paperwork or make grocery lists, etc. Quiet time is the best time for that I have found - otherwise, I forget!
As far as weekly things, mopping, vacuuming, dusting. Daily - laundry, dishes, sweeping, Heavy cleaning such as baseboards, ceiling fans, tops of appliances - monthly. What tends to keep me organized the most are baskets - for toys, for magazines, for all those little things on my bar such as keys, etc. I even have them in bathrooms to catch hair products (3 teenage daughters!!!) or anything else that might be left behind. Also - make sure you have a special place to put mail/bills until you can sit down and go through, maybe a desk or just a file folder would work.
Sounds like you already have everything under control! I am sure your family does appreciate all you do - but do not feel alone thinking it goes un-noticed...we all go through that...rest assured though, when Mom is down & not feeling good it will all come to pass! Dad has to take charge and all of the sudden he is wondering how you get it all done. LOL - Anyway, good luck with your schedule...just try and make the best of it...one of these days the kiddos will be older and your habits now will teach them to be more responsible for their rooms, etc. You are definitely doing the right thing!
All I can say is WOW! I think you are already light years ahead of what I do in a day! haha! I used to be great at keeping the house clean from top to bottom - it was always picked up and deep cleaned at least every 2 weeks... That was when I had 2 little kids (1 in preschool and 1 newborn). 6 years, 2 more kids and a bigger house later.....totally different story!!! I feel like I spin my wheels all day and don't have anything to show for it. I read an email a long time ago (wish I would have printed it off) about a mom's busy day - she would set out to do one thing, get distracted & start on something else, which would remind her to do something else, etc. etc. etc... and at the end of the day she had been going all day and hadn't completed 1 thing! That's the story of my life!
Sounds like you are a very self-disciplined gal. I think you're doing great! I'm the one that needs to ask for YOUR advice! ;)
Sounds to me like you're doing a great job already! I presort all my laundry into separate hampers and do a load when one looks full. I do dishes and sweep the floor daily as well as pick up any clutter, at least in the main areas, the living room, kitchen and hall bath where guests are likely to see. I clean the bathroom a couple times a week as needed. Other than that, I just do what I think needs to be done. (I am always doing something!) Oh, and I clean out the fridge once a week, either right before I get groceries, or while I'm putting them away. If you really like a organized schedule, flylady.net is a great resouce. She'll send email reminders daily about what should be getting done. It's great!
I agree with the PP who suggested www.flylady.net!
Also, if my husband asked me what I did during the day, I'd probably give him a whallop upside his head!
Some of the things we do to "clean" usually go unnoticed by men like dusting the baseboards. Unless they are doing something close to the floor this will usually go unnoticed. With that said, I rearrange the furniture fairly often and when I clean I throw open the windows to "air out" the house. Once the cleaning is done, if the weather permits I keep the window open or will open the windows again for at least15 - 30 minutes before he comes home. This makes the house smell fresh and clean. Even if I haven't done much.
I will also make certain I either light a scented candle or throw on a pot of water to boil with some garlic powder in it. It makes it smell like you are cooking even if you haven't really started yet and you can use that water for vegetables or rice.
Hope this helps.
Look up FlyLady = ) She is awesome!
I think your doing great. The most important job of a SAHM is the time she spends with her kids. I too am a SAHM and some days I don't do any cleaning. There are days we wake up, leave the house and don't come back until daddy is home. I'm sure he walks in and see's the mess and thinks "what in the world" but when his girls run up to him and excitedly tell him about their adventures, he forgets all about the mess. These are the times he usually tells me thank you. When his kids are happy. When the house and kids are spotless, dinner is done, uniforms are pressed, he says nothing. Sure I think he notices, but I don't think it is all that important to him.
Don't get me wrong I think keeping a nice house is important, just not the most important. I only clean while my kids are asleep. Whatever is not done gets left until the next day.
I don't think your husband is asking you what you do all day to be rude or suggest you don't do enough. I think husbands ask because they think they're supposed to.
Enjoy being a stay at home MOM, don't work yourself into a frenzy over a house that is never going to stay clean anyway. You do have kids afterall! Take the day off and go enjoy a picnic and a game of soccer with those babies.
I am kind of a neat freak, so I just clean up as we go about our day. Its easier that way IMO. That being said, I am not a maid and this is my home (as well as my husbands) and no way am I going to give my husband some kind of itinerary of what I do every day. Things get done when I get them done. And he has to help too. Just because he works at a job outside the home does not exempt. I feel that I work inside the home all day caring for children, planning our schedules, cleaning, cooking, managing the budget, errand running.....and my job is just as hard if not more so on some days. When he gets home from work he is expected to jump in with the kids, housework, cooking....whatever needs to be done. Some days I need a break and I don't really get any cleaning done or I don't feel like cooking and my husband plans dinner. I'm sorry but the way you answer to your husband just rubs me the wrong way and seems as though you are subservient. It is a team effort at my place and sometimes one team member carries the whole team to victory =) Sorry, but no way in h*** am I gonna answer to my husband's family or have a list of things that I have done ready for him when he walks in the door....
In my opinion there isn't a "should" in what you are doing during the day. Should is a word that implies shame. What "could" you be doing depends on you. Personally, I keep a clean house, however a perfectly clean house is not my priority. I used to think the opposite and realized I was missing everything from playing with my kids to sitting for a few minutes just to relax worrying about keeping the house! If you husband is not satisfied with the way you keep the house I'd suggest he pitch in. Make Saturday cleaning day and do it together. The rest of the week don't worry about it. Trying to keep up with perfection will wear you down after awhile. My advice is to let that go. I'd read a book during nap time.
Could you come to my house....my sons refuse naps...have high and I mean high energy....between trying to operate a new business online, (I do a lot of this during evening hours) cooking for the kids, cleaning up after the kids, (what they can't do) laundry, buying and putting away groceries, bill paying, etc.....I sometimes feel fortunate that the house is still standing..lol...anyway, it sounds to me like joining a moms group might be just what you need....look on facebook for something in your area...and I wish you the best! ____@____.com
