Are You Happy with When You Became a Mom

I was 36 when I had my first, and then had my second 21 months later. I am now 40 and pregnant with a third.

I didn't meet hubby till I was 29, so getting pregnant in my 20s wasn't an option --besides, I was busy going to school, working, traveling. The timing was perfect. I do sometimes wish we had started sooner so I could have a few more....I had no idea having kids would be so amazing. If I had known, I would have had 5, but I can live with 3 ;-)

Absolutely!

I was 31 when my son was born and 33 when my daughter was born. I had been done with my Master's degree for quite a while. I had been in my career of choice for 6-7 years prior to having kids, so I paid some of my more painful career dues. We had been married for 7 years and had bought a house a few years before. The timing was right for us and I don't regret waiting until my 30's at all.

I had my first baby at 24 and my second 26. I have a lot of friends having their first babies now and I am glad that mine are older and I am able to enjoy my 30s riding bikes and playing catch with them. Watching their sports etc. I dont really think there is a wrong time for a baby (unless you really really dont want one, or do drugs)

I was almost 37, and I love where I was in life, but I wish that I had been better positioned to do it sooner. (That's all I have the courage to say to myself in this moment.)

I had my son at 36. I am so glad I waited. It gave M. a lot of time to get my own stuff squared away, and I've learned so much in life which has helped M. become a good parent. Some people make great parents even while they're young; I don't think I would have been as good at doing the mom thing as I am now. (Working with kids for 15 years previously didn't hurt either.)

Perhaps because of my mothering later in life, I am not missing being the mom of a nursing infant! Loved it while it lasted, glad we've moved on!

I waited until I was 30 to try and get pregnant. I had my first son at 32 and my second at 35. To M. it was important that I could stay at home with my kids and not have to send them to daycare, so I waited until we had our mortgage paid off, which made living on one income a lot easier. I've been at home for 10 years now (although I've worked part time), and plan to work full time (just during the school year, I'll still have Xmas, summer and sprin holidays off) next year when my older son will be in middle school and will be able to watch his brother before and after school.

I was 19 when I had my first and 21 with my second. My ex worked full-time and we both went to school. I was very lucky to get to be home with them when they were little and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I loved every stage and being there to be a part of it. I always wanted to have a third, but my ex was done at two. We had little money and didn't go out partying or anything (rarely went out at all). We just enjoyed our little family and spending time together. It was a complete different lifetime ago.
Our divorce was final just shortly before our 15th wedding anniversary. In the middle of the divorce, I had a hysterectomy that confirmed fibroids and endomitriosis. I believe that if I hadn't had my children when I did that I wouldn't have been able to. Now, I have two soon-to-be SSs. My daughter says, "see, you wanted three kids and God gave you a bonus!"
I really would love to have another baby. With a 16 yo, 2 14 yo and a 9 yo, I realize it doesn't make sense, but I still do. Guess I'll just have to wait for grandkids (hopefully at least 10 years)

I was 36 bc I didn't get married until I was older. If I could design everything to redo my life, I'd have become a mom a year or two earlier. Somehow so many moms are around my age with the same age kids so I don't feel "old". I actually feel a bit sorry for some of the moms who are much younger in our neighborhood as they seem to be the minority so maybe it's harder for them to make good friends. But I also may not be in that age group's loop. I was so far from becoming a mom in my 20's that I can't imagine it but I'm sure I would have adjusted if it had happened. I feel like early 30s is a good time. I had my 20's to be selfish and work on my career so I've appreciated being very financially set. Having children is so much work I've been grateful I don't have to work even harder to save money bc we're younger and don't have the budget. So we can go out to dinner a lot, have had childcare I'm very comfortable with etc. And I think there's a bit less chance of a midlife crisis type thing ending my marriage in divorce. We both had plenty of dating in our lives. But it would have been nice to be a bit younger so I'm more energetic. Flip side, having my kids at an older age means I can't sit back and let myself get old. My parents were older parents too so they weren't empy nesters at 50. I feel like it kept them active to have us kids around. Flip side of that is they are and I likely will be quite old grandparents... Pros and cons to both. :)

<laughing> If I'd had my son when I PLANNED on having him... I'd be just trying to get pregnant now.

I'm 33.
I WAS 23. And I had been planning on waiting 10 years.

Was I ready?

Yes & No.

Mentally & Emotionally... I was great. I'd already served in the military. I'd travelled the world. Got the wiggles and the catting around out. Was fairly solid in who I was and HOW I wanted to be living my life.

Financially / "set up"... Bwaaaahahahaha! Heck no.

I was saving up for school. I'd made money hand over fist in an industry I hated (and lost it just as quickly). I'd actually lost 'everything' (all my savings, my condo on the beach, my car... every asset) the year before in Florida (long story), and was visiting my family in WA before heading out to Mass. for school when I fell in love with the (scum sucking slimy immoral dishonest narccistic sociopathic jerk... sorry... mid divorce) who would become my husband and my son's father. 3 forms of birth control failed utterly (i really believe that birthcontrol is something of a prayer; as in "God, I would really like not to become pregnant right now")... and I became pregnant with my son.

The work i HAD been doing (that made rather a lot of money) isn't a job one can do while pregnant OR with a kid. I hadn't saved up enough for school. I didn't have an education. I was VERY MUCH NOT set up.

So... in an ideal world... I'd have waited 10 years.

I wouldn't give up the past 10 years with my son for ANYTHING. Not for all the riches and adventures in the universe.

I'd also always planned both on waiting until my early 30's AND having between 5-10 kids.

Instead; early 20's and 1 kid.

Life, at least mine, rarely goes according to plan.

But what an awesome life it is. :) :) :)

I was 18 when I had my first and 29 with my last and fourth.

I use to think I would have been a better mom if I had children later and I put myself through hell with those kinds of thoughts - what a waste. Now I know it doesn't matter in many ways. Don't get M. wrong obviously it matters but just because a person is older doesn't necessarily make them a better mother. I finally saw this after taking care of many children and dealing with many parents throughout life. In some cases, I would've been a better parent at 12 then some mothers I've known. Overall, I now know I had my children when it was meant to be and I have learned a lot from each one of them.

Ya know, more than likely even if you had two or three children, you'd still agnst for a baby. Who doesn't love a baby. There so close to heaven so sweet, so precious. Even after my fourth one once she started getting to be about 4 or 5 I wanted another for a while. I went through it for years off and on.

Babies are born when they're born. We think we have a say about it more than we actually do.

Enjoy each stage of your child's childhood it goes by very quickly, like the blink of an eye if you're not watching. Remember he is your special someone sent just to you. There won't be another just like him, ever.

I was 32 with our first. It was the right time for M.. I didn't even meet my husband until I was 29 and not having kids until my 30s allowed M. to advance in my career to a point where I work for myself in my 30s and beyond. I wouldn't have had that flexibility if I started a family right out of college.

I had my child at 39. Perfect for us!
No regrets. No complaints.

I was 2 months shy of turning 30 when my oldest son was born and 4 years and 1 month later his little brother was born.
I wouldn't change a thing.

I had my son at age 32 and my daughter at age 38. They are 5.5 years apart. I am very happy with the timing of when I had kids...but 4 years apart would have been even better. It took us forever to get pregnant the second time though, so we are just thrilled to have our daughter! I would not change a thing...I had time to travel to other countries, go to graduate school, work on boats and in the field doing fish and mammal research every summer. I had the most incredible jobs and got to be in the most incredible places doing research. I got all my student loans paid off, we bought our first house, had time to fix it up, and sell it for a profit, and we both had very good careers going by the time we had our son. We were so much more stable financially than all the younger parents we made friends with, and I would not change all the amazing experiences I got to have before we had our kids. I did not feel sad when friends had their second child before M.. I just did not feel ready. I love the age difference between our kids - it was more relaxing. Right when our son started Kindergarten our daughter was born. So, every morning when he is in school she has had one on one time with M..

I had my daughter when I was 41 and it's perfect! We had been married for 13 years, together for longer, raised his two kids until they were 17 & 20. The timing for my career, school, health, (not having to fight with his ex), everything was perfect. I had an easy time getting pregnant naturally, great pregnancy and delivery and a perfect little girl (now 10)! I've made friends with women who have kids the same age and they are from 8 - 12 years younger than M., but that's just fine.

We started TTC when I was 32 - so SURE I felt ready.
But then it took 4 years and a fertility specialist to have our son, so we had him when I was 36.
I was just grateful to finally be pregnant.
Sometimes I wish I could have put a little time in a bottle so I could rock my easy going 6 month old again, but he's such a wonderful kid there's something to love about every stage and age.

My kids are 14, 12, 11 and 4.......I think the 2-3 year gap is the easiest. My gap of 6 years is harder, just because of activities they have to be dragged to constantly and they can't "play" together as much. But, the 13 month gap was a little too close!! Overall, my kids ages has been really fun and I wouldn't change it. Go with your instincts, not a "plan"!! Good luck!

I had my first at 33, second at 36, and third at 38. It was definitely harder on my body to have my second and third babies. But all three kids are healthy and happy.

Before getting married, I had two successful careers and traveled the world. I'm glad I was able to do so much before settling down, because it is so difficult and expensive to travel with three kids. Plus, my husband is a real homebody, so he doesn't like to stray far from home anyway.

I just turned 40 a couple months ago. I have to say that I am in great health and my fitness level is about the same as when I was 30. I'm quite happy to be feeling so young still at 40. So if you do end up putting off baby #2 for years to come, don't feel like you'll be too old to keep up with the trials and tribulations of raising a newborn again.

I was 20 when I had my first, and 23 when I had my second. I'm 7 months along with my third, and I'm 29.

I think each time was just the right time. I wouldn't have done it any other way, seriously.

I wish I would have had my kids when I was 11 so that they would be 18 and out of the house already. ;) ;) KIDDING!!! I had my first at 23, my second at 24 and my third at 27. The only thing I regret is having my 2nd and my 3rd spaced so far apart but it took us awhile to decide we wanted a third. I wish I would have had her about 18 mos apart from the second so that they could all be close in age (not that they are super far apart but being that my first two were 13 mos apart, 3 years seems far). I am really eager to finally use my degrees and start my career, which I have been waiting to do until my youngest is in school all day. I have 2 years to go.

I was very happy. I was 24 when I had our first. My husband was 28 and HIS bio clock was going off big time. I could have waited a bit but what the heck!! I had our second one at 28 and hubby was 32. We have a girl, now 24 and a son, now 20. Our son was a hand full! I have truly enjoyed each stage and have never wanted to back or add too. Our little family of 4 was perfect!!!

I waited longer than I thought I would. I was ready at 18 but didn't have children until I was 22 years old. I wouldn't have it any other way---I am truly blessed infinitely by my children and my fantastic husband. I am the type of person that wouldn't stop at 3 or 4 or 5. I LOVE kids and especially the baby stage. But I am content and happy with what we have and even though I would love another baby, it just isn't feasible for M. for multiple reasons. I do however always keep other options of growing my family :

adoption
Foster care
volunteering etc.

I am happy and wouldn't change a thing.

I had my first just after I turned 31, and my second just after I turned 33.
Our timing was perfect. We took the first 3 years of our marriage to travel and take all the trips we wanted, and then had kids.
And we were still 3 yrs before any of our friends.

Now we're in the boat where we have a 4 and 2 yr old. So no baby stage anymore (and we're DONE), and our friends are struggling with newborns...being the hyper attentive 1-child parents (no offense meant here), etc...
And we're back to reviving our social lives with regular babysitting. LOL!

I was 32. Got married right before I turned 31. For M. - it was perfect timing. I had #2 when I was 33 and #3 when I was 35. Three babies in 4 years... they are good friends now and enjoy many of the same things. It makes for easier life planning for us because they are close in age.

In hindsight - of course it was very very busy to have a 3 year old a 2 year old and a baby... but I don't regret it a bit.

I was 29 and had been married for 3 years. It was perfect timing. I remember being so very happy and content being the new mom for the first time. My daughter came very early, but her health was not impacted. I only have one child and in the past I thought about what it might have been like to have a second child when my daughter was 4 or 5. Now at 43 I am not even slightly interested in having another baby. The thought of being 50 with a child under 10 is unappealing to M.. No offense to those moms who are in this position.

I think there is a perfect time that is different for different people.

I know people who started having kids before they were 20 and are fantasic parents (together for life too). I know people who had kids before 20 and were so self absorbed and selfish that their child suffered and you can still tell 20 years later.

We were about 30 and had been married almost 10 years. The first 10 years, we traveled like CRAZY and had a lot of fun, fun, fun. Then we had kids and found a whole new level of love and fun. It was an adjustment, but we had a very sound relationship at that point and we adjusted. We would not trade our child for all the trips and fun we had before, but we are sure glad we did it that way. We travel now with our child and love showing her things like new countries and beaches, but it is not the same as when we went alone before kiddo. We will be crazy again later, she'll be grown up and away from us before we know it. But, I'm glad we had so much when we were young and we'll do it again when we are old (instead of waiting for that kind of fun).

A friend of mine told M. when I got married - wait! Once you have kids, you always have kids - forever, even when they grow up, you have them, you worry for them. So have couple fun now for a while, then start with babies. This was good advice for us and during the tough times that come along with raising a baby/child (sleep for instance), we have our fantastic memories and we do bring it up, or look at pictures if we happen to be ready to stroke out!

So, I don't know that there is a perfect time, but there probably is a perfect time for each person.

I was 24 with my first. I was woefully ill prepared. But I would have been that way at any age. I'm the baby of the family and I wasn't around babies or younger children when I was growing up. Nor was my husband. So we just had to wing it. I mean we knew the basics like feed, clothe, change diapers, wash the baby, etc. but we didn't know anything about routines, effective discipline...things like that. So we just did (and do) what worked for us. We had stable jobs, a house and were finished with college so, even though it wasn't a planned pregnancy, we were as ready as we could be. She was a preemie. Unlike you, I don't feel I missed out on a lot because of it. I was able to pump and then nurse her. We were able to hold her. They let us give her her first bath. Being so little she pretty much slept all the time anyway so I just missed out on a snoozing baby.

I had my second child at 27 and in some ways things are easier but in other ways they are much more difficult. The second one is a little wild, especially compared to the first. But she is so much fun. I like the age gap we have going on.

I don't really think there is a perfect time to have a child but I knew I didn't want to wait until I was in my 30s or older to have my first child so mission accomplished.

I was 18 with #1. It wasn't planned. He left & I was a single mom for a long time. It sucked, but I survived.

I'm now 35 & ttc #2. Obviously this one is planned & very much wanted by both of us.

I was 24 and 27.

If I could have the same EXACT kids (which would be impossible I know) I'd delay it another 5 years.

I was much more ready at 27 than 24.

That being said, my fertility took a nosedive in my mid to late 30's, so I guess God had a plan. :)

Also, I'll be 45 when my youngest is grown (I'm 42 now). That feels good too. Sort of. I have a friend who hates her empty nest. I also have several friends/relatives with LITTLE kids.

I just try to enjoy every season of life.

I'd actually love another, but DH isn't interested.

I wanted DD a little sooner. It took us a long time for various reasons and I did not have her til I turned 31. By then we'd been married for 5 years. I was very ready to have her. My life was stable and happy and she is my joy. Interestingly, that's been about the same age for my grandmother, my sister and so far all my cousins. 30-31 seems prime baby time in our family.

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I was 24 and had been married for 4 years and had graduated from college and had a job. We were more than ready. I told my husband I wanted to be done having kids by the time I was 28 years old and I only wanted 2. I had my second when I was 27. Now I am 32 and my kids are 8 & 5. Of course when my oldest was born I was overwhelmed but looking back on things I'm glad we had kids when we did.

I had my first at 26, my second at 30, and my third at 34. I'm glad we started when we did. If I had waited until I was older to start, I probably wouldn't have three since we like a bigger age gap.

I had my daughter when I was 24 and my son when I was 27 and we are all done. I am very happy with when I had them. I wouldn't have it any other way. I had always thought that I had to have my 2nd kid before I turned 28. I had always heard that once you hit 30, then there can be a lot more complications and so I just decided to have them in my 20's and be done.

I was also 27 and felt it was perfect timing. I went off BC pills on our three month wedding anniversary. Got pregnant with my son when my daughter was around 1.5 years old and feel like the 2 year gap was good except for the two in diapers, two like babies, etc. Now my children are 5 and 3 and we are planning on another in the next year or two so it'll be interesting to see how the dynamics play out with having older children. I wish we made more money and that we could have started earlier so we could have like 5-6 kids! But I'm thinking 3 will be our limit. Maybe 4.