I have a friend, with a 13 year old daughter. My friend asked me to talk to her daughter about sex. I told her I couldnt do that because its not my job. So I was thinking about it. Whats the right way to talk to ur kids about sex????
Hi S., you are right, it is not your job, her mother needs to talk to her, because, he mother will want her to come to her, about things, and if she feels her mom can't talk to her, she my feel the same about talking to her mom. My husband and I both started talking to our daughter when she was 13, she is now 19 with her purity in tact. J.
From what I've learned so far, it is best for the same sex parent to do the talking but if that isn't an option then obviously the parent that is available should do it. Key word here.. the parent. There is no such thing as just a sex talk. There needs to be an open and ongoing dialogue. Your friend needs to maybe read a book on how to do this and then do it - yesterday! Her daughter is 13, I'm not proud to admit it but we were having sex and drinking/smoking by 13.
Good luck!
M.
yea...definitely not your job, but you can help if that makes the mom AND daughter feel comfy. but the talk shouldn't be just a talk. it should be multiple conversations that you have with your child over the course of their life. it starts with anatomy, knowing body parts, then knowing where babies come from...and so forth. there is no magic age where you sit a child down and give them all that information.
dr phil had a really good show about this a couple weeks ago. he recommended a book written by an author that he supports. info may still be on the drphil website i'm sure.
good luck.
rah
yeah i agree not your job... why cant she talk to her own daughter about it? anyways im a long way from the sex talk with my daughter (shes only 1 lol) but what i would do when shes old enough is ask her what she wants to know about it and use a book that has diagrams about the human body. your child will be more open with questions if your open with answers. also make sure you cover stds, teenage pregnancy, abstenance (i think i spelt that wrong lol), and even gay and lesbian things (well if your ok with that topic). so then you have covered all the bases to make them aware and smarter when it comes to making those decisions later on in life!
We are so lucky to have the resources we have today! Here are some gems.
For parents:
Richard and Linda Eyre wrote a national best seller called Teaching Your Children Values. If your friend is seeking a values based approach, this is a winner!
For teenagers:
Sean Covey wrote a fabulous book specifically for teens called The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens. Tremendously well written. It gives teenagers the information they need to be the captains of their destiny instead of the victims of it.
Hi S.:
As some of the other mothers have mentioned,13 is A little late for A sex talk. Its sad,but the true reality is,some girls this age have already experienced sex.Parents such as your friend, are under the delusion that the longer they hold off discussing it,and the less their daughters know,the better off they'll be.. The parents believe (Ignorance is bliss.)I'm sorry,if that sounds harsh on the parents, but,I feel sorry for these young girls who begin womenhood,and experience changes in their body and their emotions,and are left to try and figure out what it all means,on their own.God bless the lonesome,awkward girl,who hasn't any friends or siblings,that she can turn to for help,or someone to explain that what she is feeling and experiencing is (normal)Its obvious to me,that your friends daughter,(NEEDS YOU)Her mother is not capable,or willing to speak to her daughter about sex. There is no question,about whos duty it was,I think now,its important to make sure this girl is given some help,some guidance from someone,with understanding and compassion.This young lady needs someone mature and responsible enough to speak to her.You may sit with her,only to discover she knows (more than you)! lol. What I would do, is tell her in private, that for what ever reason,her mother has great difficulty discussing sex with her,and asked you to answer any questions that she may have unanswered? Tell her that you are only there to help,and that there is no such thing as a (stupid question) "Ask anything and I will give you the best answer I possibly can" I know S.,that you feel this a strange request from your friend,but try to look at it,as your helping a young girl,that otherwise would be left in the dark.You could make a difference in her life choices. I wish you only the best,no matter what you decide is.J.
Yeah, I agree too not your job. I don't get why she would ask you to do it; is she intimidated by her own Daughter, or is the Mother herself immature? I was also wondering why are the "talks" just starting at 13? My daughter is 8 and we have our anatomy books etc. I think the one who needs the talking to is the Mother of the 13 year old. Strange situation.......good luck with that.
Peace~Love~Light
V.
