At What Point Do You Say Enough Is Enough with Kindness?

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Just tell him that he does not need to give away his stuff to be nice, there are other ways to show kindness to others.

I'm surprised they are allowed to share. At our elem. school that's a no-no. Are the teachers aware that this is going on?

As for your question--in this case....I vote to let him share :) What a sweet kid!

I would tell your son, if you really want to help these children, let the teachers know that they are not being provided with food and drinks (during lunch time) so they can get the help they need.

Then, you can tell them the parable of teaching a man to fish. You can give a starving man a fish, but the only way to really help him is to teach him how to fish, so he can provide for himself. By letting the teachers know these children are in need, they can in turn help the families.

Also, if he is giving away the extra drinks, he probably doesn't need them. He can buy his own milk/oj at school in the breakfast/lunch line.

Lots of schools, have a rule that the children are NOT supposed to share drinks or food with other kids. Because of germs and what if a kid has an allergy???

You also should tell his Teacher. Not that he did something 'wrong'... but so that, the other kids do NOT get into a HABIT of ALWAYS ASKING HIM FOR DRINKS. He is not a vending, machine.
The Teacher, SHOULD talk to the class as a whole... and explain the rules etc. and how NOT to ask/expect other kids to give you food or drinks.
And explain to your son, about not sharing.
Explain to him, why.

Sure its nice. Tell him that so he doesn't feel bad.
But, there are OTHER ways of being 'nice.'
Explain that, too.

My kids are taught, NOT to share food/drinks to other kids. I just tell them that. It is money and we don't know the other kids... NOR how their parents are about what they eat or drink.
AND my kids' school, has a rule that kids are NOT to share drinks/foods with other kids. Per what if there are allergies??? Or if they have health conditions???? And that, can be very very, dangerous, for the other child.
TELL your son, that.
It is not just about being nice.

If a kid drinks something that he gave them, and they get a reaction from it... then he will be blamed.

It is WAY more important that you foster this wonderful trait of kindness than that he gives away some drinks.

He probably won't give his drinks away forever. I think you should tell him that you thought it over, and you are so proud of his kindness, and you changed your mind.

Also, as someone who has been at many schools during lunchtime -- many or most kids give away or trade portions of their lunches.

Kindness is more important than a drink. Your son's on the right track.

OR, think of it this way: Is it worth 50-75 cents a day to create a thoughtful, kind son?

oooh tough question....

Like you, I truly appreciate my children helping their fellow man, however, I can't afford to supply food and drink for all their friends.

it's a fine line - between being nice and giving it all away...gosh - I know how frustrated I get when my boys tell me they used their lunch card for a friend who didn't have any money left on theirs and bought them lunch - I LOVE that they do that - I think it's wonderful!! However, we budget for $100 a month in school lunches and while we are okay and flexible - they make a habit out of it and THAT we can't afford.

We have asked them NOT to make a habit of it - especially if it's for the same child - that's being taken advantage of. But we need them to ensure they are taken care of as well...

aaaahhhh the joys of parenting!!! I'm interested in what others have to say!

It sounds like you are upset with your son for having compassion on others because you don't want to pay for it. In my worldview, the giving away of things that are important to you is a very good thing, so kudos to your son.

This worldview is rooted in the belief that all our belongings are gifts from God. I would explain to my son that everything we have ultimately belongs to God, so we need to glorify God with what we do with them. The word for this is stewardship. So, being a good steward of toys, candy, and sometimes juice, means we take good care of them and share eagerly with others. However, being a good steward of our bodies (which are also gifts) means we take good care of our health by eating and drinking foods that make us strong. Milk, water, and juice make your body strong and you must drink these to be a good steward of your body (well, maybe not juice).

So, by having this conversation, I not only offer my son grounding for what it means to be "nice", but also the reason why we should be nice in the first place. I would then talk to my son about who is asking for what drink, why, and when, and find a way to allow my son to be a good steward of both his health and his food - whether that means packing an extra of something, agreeing that he must drink his milk but may share his juice, packing special low-cost items specifically for sharing if he feels so inclined, ect...

How about you send a few dixie cups with him so that he can pour a little in them and not give all of it away?

You could always buy some Capri Suns of something inexpensive and donate it to the class for those children who don't have drinks.

My son used to do the same thing :) I just started donating similar to the class as I could not stand to see other kids go without.

But I feel ya' on this one.

While it is great that he helps his friends they should be there when he forgot his drinks. I am big into Karma, like he gives his drinks then when something happens that he doesn't have one someone will help him out, ya know?

I hate to say this but I kinda think you are nuts to send that many drinks with him in the first place. If he only had one drink I doubt he would be so generous.

quite honestly I would say that once I give my child something, if they choose to sacrifice & give it to someone else they feel needs it more then I would let them...there are water fountains at school so maybe instead of giving a bottle of water, give him a reusable bottle & tell him that is not to be given away but if he chooses to give the other drinks away then that is his decision to go without...personally I would be thrilled that my child was so selfless...he may not always feel this way & might not do this the entire year, but if he does that is his choice...my daughter has given away toys to her friends & while I wasnt too happy about it at first ultimately it is hers & she may do with it as she pleases, as long as she understands that once she gives it away that is it, she may not ask for it back. You should be very proud!

Are you sure he really wants/needs the drinks for himself?
He might want to give them away because he doesn't want them and/or doesn't want to carry them.

If your selfish then so am I. I wouldn't be happy either. What you send is for him not everybody else and there is nothing wrong with that. Last year whwn we moved into our current house my husbands cousin and her 4 kids were over and I kept seeing them take trash bag after bag out the door to their car but I was so busy I couldn't find the time to see what was going on. My son was" cleaning" out his closet without asking me. A few of my ralph lauren sweaters ended up in his room (all the moving confusion) and he gave them away. I saw one of her kids with my 95 dollar sweater on a few weeks later. I was pissed and still am. Being generous is one thing and occasionally is fine but he needs to keep his drinks for him!

It is WAY more important that you foster this wonderful trait of kindness than that he gives away some drinks.

He probably won't give his drinks away forever. I think you should tell him that you thought it over, and you are so proud of his kindness, and you changed your mind.

Also, as someone who has been at many schools during lunchtime -- many or most kids give away or trade portions of their lunches.

Kindness is more important than a drink. Your son's on the right track.

OR, think of it this way: Is it worth 50-75 cents a day to create a thoughtful, kind son?

my dd was giving her snacks away and some kids NEVER EVER learned to bring snacks. I had to tell her that she is not allowed to share because these kids were now not bringing a snack, counting on hers. It is not my job to feed those peoples' kids and they are not being responsible by not bringing food. I just had to tell her that is it. I then checked with adults to make sure she did.

You are blessed to have such a kind son, and must have given him some excellent training! There isn't nearly enough kindness in this world and he seems to be a genuine giver.

If you truly don't want him to share then limit the drinks you send, or give him the money to buy them at school. Otherwise I think he'll continue...maybe grow up to feed the homeless : )

How I dealt with this with my own son is the word "extra". We give away what is extra.

Which also leads into conversations about allergies, diabetes, etc... and how parents REALLY need to know what their kids are eating/drinking, and they don't if they're being given food and drinks by their friends.

Tell him there's a time & a place for things like this, it's very nice of him to share but if he keeps giving away his drinks other kids will take advantage of his kindness and will keep on asking him for drinks. Until he fully understands just send him to school with a regular 16.9 oz bottle of water to last all day, if he gives his one bottle of water everyday he'll learn that he'll be left with nothing.

yeah, its a fine line isn't it? I gave a crippled woman 5 dollars today for "gas", i saw in walmart later with a cart that had chips and beer in it. Tell your son that sometimes he should give, and sometimes he should just hold onto his drink. You can never really be sure your gift is appreciated, but thats ok. Life is a mixture of those two things for a good person.

Its confusing, but you "cant help everyone, but you can help some people"...is a good lesson to learn.

.......and how sweet of him to do that, sounds like a very good kid, either you worked hard or lucked out, or both.

I would encourage him to find a way to earn money to purchase the drinks he would like to give away. That way he will see there is a cost to giving things away. He can then decide if it is worth it.

Its nice he wants to share, but Id be concerned he is trying to buy his friends. Even at this age, and younger, I have heard kids say, "if you give me your candy I will be your friend".. and, "if you dont give me your candy I will go home and not be your friend."and they are so worried they wont have freinds they will give up their favorite toy. Sharing food and drink is common to some degree but everyday would bother me. He should be reminded that the school does have a water fountain for his thirsty buddies, and they can tell their parents to send drinks with them. I know some might not be able to afford it. I know when I was in elementary school my parents couldnt afford the nickle for milk. I went without. I made sure I had water from the fountain at recess. Now most school districts have food programs for low income families so they should be looking into that if money is the problem. But mostly as nice as it is to be sweet and thoughtful, he may be hoping to ensure friendships by giving them drinks.