D.B.
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I have come to realize my family most agrees with attatchment parenting methods. We DO NOT do the cry it out method for sleep. We don't really co-sleep, but do some part of most nights, I breastfeed and carry her around a lot. I enjoy these things. However I'm concerned that since I'm pregnant again, how much can I realistically continue with throughout pregnancy? My daughter is only 5 months old. The two babies will be 13 months apart. Any words of encouragement or tips on how to stick with or possibly modify attachement parenting to accommodate for the issues of pregnancy (tiredness and night waking, tiredness and babywearing) and also have older baby well adjusted once newborn arrives? I agree almost 100% with dr. sears mentality, but it seems almost better suited for an older child and newborn??? those who have been there please help!!
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I think the most important thing is to do what works for your family. There is no benefit to be gained from being too worried about sticking to a theory religiously. I did most of the attachment parenting things, but found that some worked better for our lives than others and when I could forgive myself for not following completely, I think I became a better mom. Isn't that the goal anyway?
Dear M.,
I would suggest you check out some of the forums on the Attachment Parenting International website about this topic, as you are not alone! I think one of the most helpful tips is to prepare for this baby as if you were having twins~when they are this close together, it's almost like that, as your 'older' baby is still too young to understand why your attention will now shift to a tiny intruder. So you will need to marshall your family and friends to really help out alot, as you will need so much support. If you nurse through your pregnancy, nursing siblings as many advantages, but again it's like nursing twins, so you'll need to take good care of yourself, eat right, and get a lot of rest. If you don't have support like your mom or someone who can come over on a daily basis, consider hiring a mother's helper, doula, or housekeeper for awhile. The great thing about AP is that it empowers you to do what's best for you and your family...not about listening to naysayers who give advice without considering the temperament, and uniqueness of you and your babies. Listen to your heart, your intuition, and use this time to prepare ahead and you might be surprised at how this transition will meet all of your needs for connection, love, and good physical and emotional health.
Mine were only 11 mos apart. I had to quit breastfeeding the first one about 5 or 6 months into the second pregnancy. I spent a lot of time teaching my firstborn to walk and be independent due to the fact that I had the baby coming. Luckily for me he started walking just days before I delivered his brother. Other than that it went really smooth. When they are so young they really dont do the sibling rivalry thing as much as further spaced children do. I would have my toddler snuggle up next to me and his brother on the couch and we did a lot of reading and such. When the newborn was in the crib sleeping and spent time with the oldest. I really had no issues. You will need a twin stroller tho :)
