We have a 10 wk old daughter who co-sleeps with us. I love having her in our bed, but it has gotten to were she cannot go down for the night unless she is on my breast. Since she is still too young to put her on some sort of sleep schedule she just goes to bed when I do (or visa versa). I realize that very soon this habit will become a problem for both of us since we will want her to go to bed way before we do. We don't want to end the co-sleeping and she does go down for naps without the breast. How do we get her to sleep in our bed without me being there with the breast? Also, I know she isn't doing it out of hunger since we have a good feed before.
Basically I just need to be less "is this normal behavior?" and just go with what feels right and have lots of patience. I love breastfeeding her and being able to look at her sleeping face any time during the night is a wonderous thing. I get so confused by all the differnet parenting material that is out there. Sleep schedules, specific feeding times and amount, attachment parenting, cry it out, etc. Thank you everyone for your advice. I think we are going to feed her when she is hungry and if she likes sleeping with a breast close at hand, well, I need to just kick back and enjoy it. One day very soon I am sure I will hear her say "drop me off a block away and don't hug me in front of everyone". Then all I'll be able to think about is when she needed me to help her feel safe and fall asleep.
Have you tried a pacifier? They are great, and I promise you that they will be ok with one and that it is not that difficult at all to wean them from them when they are old enough - I had to do it with a child who LOVED them and it was ok.
B
I dont know if you mean she has to be nursing to sleep, or just lie on your chest to go to sleep.
If she has to nurse in order to sleep, try a pacifier. If that doesn't work, Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution" has a wonderful section on teaching infants to stop relying on your breast to fall asleep. She calls it the "Pantley Pull Out Method" and it really works. Good luck.
Your 10 week old needs the comfort and that is fine. I would really not recommend any kind of sleep training for child this young. It's not a good idea. I recommend reading The Baby Book by Dr. Sears to understand where your daughter is developmentally.
I co-sleep with my daughter and have always nursed her down. Once she falls asleep, I slip away. When she was this little- I really recommend using a sling. That way she can fall asleep while nursing, slip your breast out of her mouth and either continue to keep her in the sling and go about your business or put the sling down and slip out while she sleeps. You can place her in the middle of the bed with a bed rail or leave her in a crib or bassinet until you are ready to go to bed too.
You will get the hang of all this. Give yourself a break. She's still very very small. Trust your gut. Beware sleep trainers. The fact that she wants to eat more may mean that she is still hungry. Let her feed if she is-- she will increase your milk supply. If you limit her feeds, your supply will dwindle.....
Good luck!
D.,
You and your little one are experiencing breastfeeding as it should be! Babies need more than your milk. They need your warm body and scent. Be patient. I also recommend anything written by Dr. William Sears. To me, this experience is heaven on earth. Relish it.
Amy
Our daughter slept with us and fell asleep at the breast too. I think you are worried way too early about this! Does anyone else put her to sleep ever? That is how you will get her to stop needing to breastfeed to fall asleep (I began working 3 nights a week and my babysitter put her to sleep) or you could just wait until you wean her whenever that may be. If you want her to continue sleeping with you and you want her in bed earlier then just put her down in your bed earlier! This is all nothing to worry about as long as you are there for her through any changes and it sounds like you certainly are! She's too young to not completely indulge her in closeness!!
Have fun!
L.
D.,
You might take a look at the Ferber sleep book too ("Solving your Child's Sleep Problems" I think). At 10 weeks, your baby hasn't really set up any perminant sleep habits, so it should be pretty easy to "train" her to sleep without the breast. But it may be hard since you still want to cosleep, because you are *there*, so she'll ask for it. You may want to try moving her to a "co-sleeper" (attaches to the side of your bed) or something similar so that she's not right next to you if you really want to solve this. I suspect until you physically distance youreslf a little bit you may have difficulty getting her to stop asking for it.
