Baby Development/Child Care Guide Book

I really loved "What to Expect the First Year". It went through month by month and was so dead on for me...really helpful on my first baby. It also has a really great section on childhood illnesses.

I second the what to expect... but this forum is awesome for all those questions too, it has mothers with real-life experience and different parenting styles, so you get more than one perspective. :)

First of all, congratulations!

Second of all, you can read a million different books, but I also recommend joining a moms group. Hearing first hand about what works and what doesn't from people that you are friends with (or at least can trust the opinions of) is completely invaluable. I would have lost my mind without it.

Third, I do recommend What to Expect the First Year. It has a very good, straightforward breakdown month-by-month. It was reassuring to me to see if my kids were "normal."

Fourth, at this point, you should still be seeing a pediatrician all the time. Make a list of questions and ask them all. Okay, maybe not _all_, but don't feel like an idiot - the only truly dumb question is an unasked one.

Finally, check in here! There's lots of different opinions, so take all, including mine, with a grain of salt. But we're here to help!

Best of luck!

Best advice I've ever heard is to read your baby, not books. If you're breastfeeding (and I think you are from you post), then offer when baby gets fussy, even if you just fed. Watch your baby, not the clock while breastfeeding. Growth spurts usually mean that baby will want to nurse non-stop for a few days (they're growing, so they need to eat!), then they'll sleep more too (growing uses a lot of energy!). Swaddling is a great comfort tool, it reminds them of being in the womb. When they can get out of it, or sleep well without it is a great time to stop. For solids, your baby will reach out and grab food off your plate and put it in their mouth (a good reason to have them sit with you while you are eating) when they are ready for solids. But in reality, every baby is different. There is no right answer because each mother/child unit is different. Relying on a book to tell you what to do and when really undermines your instinct as a mother. Trust me, no one knows your baby like you do. Try to slow down, and really pay attention to your baby's behaviors at certain times. I think you'll find that in time, you'll be able to say exactly what they need at the time, book or no book. Breastfeeding is a great first step to finding that confidence... keep it up! Holding your baby (in arms or a sling/wrap/carrier) a lot is another step. Responding quickly and lovingly to every cry will not only allow your baby to know you will be there, but will help you learn to distinguish the "I'm wet/poopy" cry from the "I'm hungry" cry from the "I'm tired and too much isgoing on for me to relax" cry. You can do it. You carried your baby with you for nine months, and birthed them. No one is better to be their mother than you, and you will know what is best for them. Just trust yourself.

Get a baby 411. They are simple and have each subject instead of long paragraphs.

Ask friends and your pediatrician. Also ask your mom or mother in law or any other family member who is a mom who you respect. The What To Expect book series is very popular (what to expect the first year). I liked the book Baby 411 as a source of information (very quick read).

Two books that are worth their weight in gold. Very informative, humorous and a quick & easy read:

A Girlfriend's Guide to the First Year, Vicky Iovine
The Baby Whisperer, Tracy Hogg

As for the rest of your questions:
Growth spurts happen sporadically - you can't predict them.
Stop swaddling when it no longer comforts your baby.
Belly time can start around 2 months.
Mashed veggies should be introduced at around 6 months.

Books and other people can give you a guideline on how to handle your baby, but it's so true that every child is different. When it comes to your baby, YOU are the expert!

What helped me was to make a note of when my baby ate and slept. After a week I noticed a pattern and built a feeding/napping schedule from her natural patterns.

Having this schedule was a godsend for both of us. We were both so much more at ease because we both knew what to expect from each day. I knew the best time to take her out on errands, and she knew that she never had to cry for food because it would come very predictably.

Congratulations on becoming a mama & don't hesitate to turn to the amazing mamas on this forum if you ever need advice. They have helped me more times and in more ways than I can count - they rock!!

Best of luck to you and your precious baby!!

The Baby Book by Dr. Sears is great! It will answer all your questions.

However - I only used this book as a guideline. I found parenting by my gut instinct to be right on target. Don't worry about when the baby is supposed to do this or that. Milestones are guidelines. Every child is different.

Enjoy your new baby!
M.

I loved What to Expect When You're Expecting

Take a deep breath. good luck.

some great books what to expect the first year
followed by what to expect the toddler years
I also like happiest toddler on the block

Who says you should give a breastfed baby a bottle by 3 weeks?
Naaaahhhhhh.
There are SO MANY books.
You are in Los Angeles.
Did you know that one of the most amazing public libraries
in the world is in Downtown Los Angeles?
It's between Flower and Grand and 5th and 6th Streets.
Go in. Enjoy the interior views, etc.
Go to the children's room.
Ask the librarian for books on early childhood development.
Start with (something like) Your Baby's First Year.
Work your way through some of the other books
over time . . . let the librarian recommend for you.
And of course the books that are recommended here.
If Downtown LA isn't conveniently located for you,
there are many many branch libraries, all over Los Angeles.
Send me a Private Message if you'd like directions or more suggestions.

Hey, as a mom of a 17 year old, 2.5 year old and 4 month old, I can tell you that things will change between kids and you'll still occasionally be left scratching your head, lol. It's completely normal. http://kellymom.com is an excellent resource for breastfeeding mamas, and can answer some of your other questions as well.

Another suggestion I have is to find some other moms with new babies. It doesn't matter if they have older kids or not. Chances are good they'll have other resources to share... and you'll have some to share with them, too.

Oh, and the bottle thing is that weeks 3-8 are when babies tend to be most amenable to trying something new. It's not that you *have* to give them a bottle then. If you'll be staying home and enjoy it, you can forego bottles altogether. My son went straight from nursing to a cup (I tend to skip steps like sippies and the like whenever possible).

Lastly, I love all things baby. So if you want some serious "baby talk," feel free to pass me a note.

Best wishes,

S. :+)

I like "What to Expect The First Year," and your pediatrician can help answer those questions too when you go in for a well-baby check up. Unfortunately no book can give you all the answers :)

Dr. Sears Baby Book - widely available in book stores and libraries. The reason I liked it was because it agreed with what my "gut" was telling me to do, but I just needed reassurance.

I loved the Baby Whisperer's book. She has a great table/thing in there that explains different things your baby will do and what they mean, like pulling legs up to chest could be bad gas. I never would have known that.

And our pediatrician said to swaddle as long as she wants, since we were all getting a full night's sleep, no reason to stop just because other people said to. She was swaddled until 9 months.

"What to Expect the First Year" is the book we used for our DD. They also cover the toddler years too. I liked that each chapter was about a certain month/age and what the average baby could be experiencing around that time and it gave great suggestions on dealing with problems from different views.

Not sure where you are in LA, but contact The Pump Station in Santa Monica. Great support, great info and consultants and other moms to connect with.

So much of parenting is trial by fire, I'm afraid! And, so many things that make our babies cry are unknown and never will be known...also annoying and frustrating for the parents! ;) There are books, some good, others with conflicting information. You can look into the book What to Expect the First Year, by the same pubisher as What to Expect When You're Expecting. Also there are lots of websites (this one included! ;) to help you. Try googling baby websites and just peruse some until you find one you like. Also ask your pediatrician.

Most importantly, however, sign yourself up for Parents as Teachers. It is a free program offered through your local school district...again google it. There may be a waiting list but honestly this is the best resource out there, in my opinion. Someone will come to your house every 6 weeks or so and they have lots of help and advice to give!

As far as the questions you already posted...growth spurts happen often and sometimes you don't know when they're coming! Swaddle for as long as it works. Start belly time ASAP but always be with your baby when they're on their tummy. They probably won't like it so just start out with small amounts. Also, holding them with their tummy against your shoulder counts as tummy time. Introduce veggies around 6 months. It could be sooner, but don't rush it, it's not necessary it's more work and more money!

Hang in there! Sometimes you just roll with the punches and find out info from other moms! You're not alone and most likely someone else has dealt with the issue you're having so it will work out!

My fav is an old but goodie called "Dr Mom". It was written by a female pediatrician with five kids of her own (she's totally a working mom and really gets it). I LOVE her books....I think her first name is Marianne and I am sure her last name is Neifert. It is probably out of print so look on www.alibris.com as that is where I found the one I sent to my BFF

I found the book Your Baby's First Year Week by Week by Glade B. Curtis,M.D. and Judith Schuler, M.S. very helpful...good luck and enjoy your baby. He or she will be grow up so quickly.

Welcome to motherhood! The most important thing is to trust your gut! First, you do NOT have to give a breastfed baby a bottle at ANY time. As far as growth spurts, you'll know when they're coming, because baby will eat or sleep more than usual. As for swaddling, you can keep going until baby doesn't want to anymore. In fact, we swaddled for comfort up to our son's 3rd birthday! He liked the closeness and felt very comforted. You can start tummy time right away! Since we now put babies to sleep on their backs, they need all the tummy time you can give them! Mashed veggies - when those teeth start popping out. I would go to you pediatrician as for guidance on milestones, as what you will read online is general, and each baby is different. Don't get worried because your baby hasn't met milestones at the exact age you read online. The ages are guidelines. You are the expert on your baby, and you will find yourself getting into a rhythm with each other, and you will know what baby needs. I think all mom's go through this, but you'll be just fine! Feel free to message me if you just need someone to talk to. Best of luck on your journey through motherhood!