Baby Number 2 or Not

no matter what you do, people are going to ask questions. if you have another and they are both the same gender, people are going to ask if you are going to try for a boy/girl? Don't let it bother you!

People can be so rude, putting their desires on others! There is no law that says you have to have even one kid, let alone more, so people should mind their own business. However, some people may be asking just out of curiosity or even politeness, so don't take it to heart. The ones that try to convince you to have more are the ones you can just say to, "My husband and I do not want any more children," just as you said in your post! I know what you mean--I have only one child right now (and am pregnant with my 2nd), and it has been difficult from beginning to end!! I have my reasons for wanting a 2nd, but I am also petrified of how difficult it's going to be!! Some people seem to take having kids in stride, but I was not one of them, so I understand what you're saying!!! Enjoy your daughter!

Hi, I'm not really sure if you were asking a question...but I have 3 children and I can tell you it is very difficult!!! I love them them all God Bless them!! They are ages 6, 4, and 8mths. Sometimes when I get a break from my mother in law she takes the two older ones and I am alone with the 8mth old I really enjoy the one on one time with him. .It seems so easy with just one!! Don't get me wrong when I had just one I was so tired, stressed, and worn out..but its only after you have more than one that you realize this! Enjoy having only one, imagine trying to get three bodies out the door on any given day...not an easy task!! Imagine what you do times 2 or 3!! Love your one and only and enjoy her! Don't let anyone make you feel incomplete...to each his own and you are not alone out there, many people find complete bliss is having only one...May God Bless you and your family and tell all others when they walk a day in your shoes they can decide for you..until then no advice is needed!!

There is nothing wrong with your choice. This is YOUR life, YOUR family, and YOUR body. One baby is enough for you. Great! One was enough for me, too, and I just smiled and nodded at folks who tried to convince me otherwise. My daughter is now getting the same pressure from extended family because she chose, for her own very good reasons, to stop with one.

Bringing more people into the world is just about the highest-impact choice you can make, not only for your existing family, but for society at large. And it's not without risk. It's nobody's business but yours. It's not your business whether they understand or not. So just keep repeating what you told us: "My husband and I do not want any more children," and trust your conviction.

I think most people just ask because they can't think of anything else to say. Sort of like how grownups always ask kids what their favorite subject in school is or what they want to be when they grow up. Most people will ask and then move on when I say no but there have been a few who have gotten me to blurt out that, "YES I'M SURE, for chrissake, my husband got a vasectomy - we are THAT SURE." Only one person mentioned that those are reversible.

this is your decision only. with the economy the way it is unless your stable its not smart. I raised an only child and wish I had had a second kid. not 19 yrs apart. I used to answer that question with when god decides it is time for me to have another. my theory was most pregnancies are accidents so let god decide for you. he decided 19 yrs later I needed another one. :)

I often think that our son will be our only. I kinda like the idea of it just being the three of us. He is 20 months. IF, and that's a big if, we did have another it wouldn't be until he's 4 maybe.

I never ask people if they are going to have another baby, because some people struggle with infertility and this can be a hurtful question. I do believe it's a personal question.

When people do ask me, I just say "Ah, I don't know. Maybe when he's a little older". Or I'll say "We are just enjoying our one and only right now."

I always wanted more than one child, my husband wasn't sure...
My dad died before my first was born and my mom died when she was only a year and a half. If I hadn't had my sister and brother I would have been alone. Yes, I had my husband and his wonderful family and even extended family and friends, but the connection with my siblings was what was most healing. We were able to make the tough decisions together and felt better about making them because we all discussed and came to an agreement. If I had had to make those decision alone, I would have been second guessing myself forever. Do you and your husband have siblings? Have you had to make decisions regarding care of sick or elderly parents yet? Just something to think about as you decide what is right for you...

How do people not think that their rude . Your reproductiveness is none of their business who would rub something like that in what if you had fertility problems which would also be none of their business. Next time anyone says that I would tell them that your happy for them. Who cares if they understand or not I am sorry you have such rude and nosy friends and family.

This is one of my biggest pet peeves! First of all, anyone who says anything -including family -is RUDE and needs a lesson in manners! Secondly, many MANY people are deciding to have only children these days, so people shouldn't be so amazed by it. I'm an only child, and my parents were raising me when people just couldn't believe someone would have only one. Initially I was an only because they almost never conceived me, and then they never could get pregnant again. It caused my mom a lot of pain to hear these people. After some time though, they actually loved having only one child and I got to have so many more experiences than I would if I had a bunch of siblings. Sure, if I had brothers and sisters then that's what I would know, but not having them hasn't bothered me at all and I am not self-centered and selfish. So many narrow minded people show their ignorance (and I've seen a few on this board) when they think that only children are automatically selfish and self-centered. In fact the only children I know are some of the most charitable and thoughtful people I know.

Bottom line -if YOU don't want another, then don't DARE have one! YOU will be the person who is pregnant and raising the child -not the ill-mannered people around you! Quite honestly, I would call anyone who said anything to me on it. I would say, "Well, we only want one and are quite happy that way. Every family is different!" If it's someone you constantly see who is constantly asking you might want to add, "It seems to be so important to you I just want you to understand that we are not having any more because we don't want any more, so you don't need to ask any more!"

I also want to ad that many only children are great at forming deep and lasting friendships that take the place of siblings. You also get to choose your friends! I've watched a lot of people lose parents and go through rough times, and the person I saw get the most support and caring from others was myself from my friends when my mother passed away last year -not people with tons of brothers and sisters.

Just think how many people are having that second or third for ALL the wrong reasons! We have O. and we're completely happy and that will be it.
I am fond of saying "O. and done." "We're happy to have O. perfect kid." "Nope--that's it for me!" "He's an impossible act to follow."
You don't need to explain anything to anyone. Just make a statement. After all this is YOUR family, and YOUR decision!

I would say to people just that, "One is just perfect for us but I'm thrilled for you on your pregnancy." The right number is different for each family and only your husband and you know the right number of children.

Good luck...be confident in your decision. Your child and whole family will be happier.

I decided more than 1 in my case because I saw the person my dad is and resented it. He was an only child, (his mom was trying for a girl)
Anyhow, he can be so spoiled and bratty acting even as an adult and he can't help himself. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad, by I am almost 100% sure that being an only made him the way he is.
But then again, it all boils down to what you and your husband want. You should just go by that!