My two and a half year old son is picking up on something is about to happen. We came to NC for me to have baby number two(we usually are in va beach area, where my husband is stationed). My husband has made two trips to see us lately and help us prepare. I came here simply for help and support since he deploys in a few weeks. Anyways, my lo has started crying at nap time(sounds scared almost) and during the night. This isn't something I really have the energy to "fix" nor will I after tomorrow(scheduled c section). My husband is so so so so good with him, as am I. Do you have any advice with how to deal with it,
Or any "it will be okay" encouragement? Pour it on because I'm getting nervous/scared/worried. 😁
Wanted to add yes we talk about baby, read about baby, and practice for baby! We stay with my parents while in Nc so he will get to hang out with cousins and grandma and grandpa! Which is a big deal for him! I have a
Feeling he is picking up on my anxiety, like someone said! Thanks for your input! :)
He knows something is going to change his world and he's stressed out. It will be okay...really. Congrats and try not to worry.
M.,
Thank your husband for his service and sacrifices to our country. I hope and pray he comes home safely to your arms!
Your son is picking up on YOUR stress and anxiety. It's really that simple. There's been a HUGE change in his life...he doesn't get to see daddy every day...play with daddy every day...and now he's in a new environment....new people - even though they are family - still new people - new routine...
Everything will work out!! Congrats on your second baby!!
Just get back into a schedule/routine...make sure he Skype's with daddy daily...since you said VA Beach - I will presume USN - so the ships typically have Skype service for our service men and women...make use of it!!
Good luck!
Toddlers go through stages.
It probably would have been the same even if another baby weren't on the way.
Expect your son to go through some regressions in some things.
The new baby will get a lot of attention and it's common for older siblings to feel like chopped liver.
You'll all get through it sooner or later.
The next 8 or so weeks will be exhausting but a new routine will develop.
Congrats on your new bundle coming!
Here's what I did that helped. I bought a toy that my son really wanted, but I had not promised. I wrapped it up and my husband brought it to the hospital after the baby was born. When he brought my son to see me in the hospital room, we gave him the present and told him that it was from the baby. I told my son that his baby brother was so excited to meet him and wanted to give him the present.
I told him that right now, the baby is very little and can only eat and sleep, but when he gets older, he will be able to play with him. As time went on, I told him that the baby will look up to him and that he loved him very much.
After about a week at home, I got out the baby pictures of my older son and showed him what it looked like for us to take care of him. He thought it was his little brother, and I said "oh no, honey, this is you! See how little you were? How we took care of you and loved you, like we are taking care of your little brother now?" He became very protective of his baby brother at this point.
My son at one point wanted to take a bottle (I was breastfeeding, but had to supplement with bottles some.) I told him that the baby didn't have any teeth, couldn't chew, couldn't eat ice cream or this, that and the other. (I named my son's favorite foods.) I told him that big boys get to enjoy all those lovely foods, but not little babies. He didn't bother me about drinking out of a bottle anymore.
Make sure that you let your son hold the baby. Support that as much as you can (have your husband be with him because of the C-section.) Include him as much as you can. If he is potty trained, expect regression and don't make a big deal of it. Let him help - bring you baby's diapers, bring you a glass of water, etc.
It's great that he will be with cousins and family members. Just don't let him go off and "pretend" that there is no baby. He will think that the baby is temporary if you do, and it will all be down hill when he realizes that the baby doesn't stay with the cousins. (That happened to my husband when grandma left. He went running after grandma's car crying "Grandma, you forgot your baby!")
Take good care of yourself! Hope you can get some good sleep too!
My oldest was about 2 1/2 when baby brother (whose now 5) was born. I was very lucky to have grandparents and aunts and uncles visit and give him lots of attention. Of course, sooner or later, things start to settle down and somewhat of a normal routine emerges.
I remember maybe a couple of weeks after my youngest was born, my oldest seemed to be having some trouble. I put the baby down and pulled him into my lap. I just hugged him and said, "It's kind of hard having a little brother around, isn't it?" He gave me kind of a sad nod. I told him that I loved him very much and that it was ok for him to be a little sad sometimes if it feels like Mommy wasn't giving him enough attention. I told him it was ok to tell me and I would try to make sure to pay more attention to him. We hugged and then I think we read a book together.
For the most part, I tried to make sure I gave him attention, too. And I tried to make sure I talked to him about lots of things other than the baby. It seemed like any time someone came over, they asked him if he liked being a big brother. So I tried to ask him about things he liked to do or to tell me what happened on his tv show. I just tried to make sure he still knew he was special.
It will be an adjustment, but it won't be long before the new baby just becomes normal to him.
Hang in there! You can do this!
Congrats and good luck tomorrow!
Congrats on baby number 2!
Not trying to sound critical, but have you told your 2.5 yr old anything? Children need to be prepared for a new baby, and that is not something you can achieve in one day. I am hoping that you have been talking about things and maybe you just aren't conveying that in your post. :)
Please start talking to your son right now about things. He needs to know what will be happening tomorrow....mommy will be having a baby, WHO is going to watch him, that the baby is a part of the family and he is going to love this baby so much.... He needs to know that he is not being replaced and that he is going to be such a great big brother. He needs to know that mommy is going to be sore and need lots of help in the next couple of weeks, but that everything is going to be okay. Keep it positive! Remember that it is normal for all kids to revert back to more babyish behavior when a new baby comes along. Do your best to set aside a little one on one time for him every day. He is probably feeling your stress and anxiety about all of the things that you need to do to get ready for this new baby.
Do you the cartoon show Caillou? Love that show! Aside from me and hubby's encouragemnt and explanation, that show helps us get to our daughter in her level. Caillou has a younger sister too. Im due for baby #2 in 2 weeks and each time i feel like my daughter is getting upset why "baby brother has new stuff" i just relate to her what she saw on Caillou and she understands and gets excited. Goodluck!
It will absolutely be fine!! My son was just shy of 3 when my second was born, he definitely knew I was stressed and was extra clingy just before the baby was born. The older one is 6 now, and what he remembers is getting to sleep over at Auntie's house and exchanging gifts in the hospital. No lasting trauma :)
I know it is so scary to think about adding another little person to your family, it is totally normal. You will be surprised how quickly you adjust!!
Oh, also, most boys don't make permanent memories until they are 5 or so, so he likely eventually won't remember a thing, good or bad.
my two year olds understood what was about to happen. Find pictures on the internet of siblings meeting new baby. Perhaps he understands more than you are giving him credit for and he is just picking up on your vibe; anxiety, racing around, disrupted schedule etc. ? In any case, if he's not properly prepped, he's about to get a hands on lesson. Soon you will really need to focus on how to incorporate him into baby care. Have him help change baby and do the final wipe (wipe the already cleaned buns), before new dipper. Pull the tab on the diaper and stick it. wash baby with wash cloth in bath, put pacifier in his mouth. In other words, make him feel needed and part of the babies care and he won't notice the shift of focus as much.
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now that i've read others I just want to reiterate that a new special toy for him is a good idea (dolls are a great new toy, even for a brother). And aunties and grandmas/ grandpas to pay lots of attention to him while you focus on baby are great too.
